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Review Requests: ON
556 Public Reviews Given
562 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Overall impression, likes, suggestions, positive closing. I am honored to do reviews upon request, usually on the first day 2023 Quill Winner 2023 BEST REVIEWER
I'm good at...
...emphasizing positive things in addition to at least one suggestion2023 Quill Winner 2023 BEST REVIEWER
Favorite Genres
Biography, short stories, all styles of poetry.
Least Favorite Genres
Horror, Dark because I am not fond of voluntarily being scared.
Favorite Item Types
True stories and experiences
Least Favorite Item Types
Anything that scares me
I will not review...
I will review anything. I have reviewed books, however, they take a lot of time, the turnaround is longer than 3 days.
Public Reviews
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Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi *Heartb* Carly,

I found your poem Searching for Peace in Read and Review. It was written almost ten years ago. I am so glad it came up for me to review.

Overall impression: This is an excellent poem that meets the criteria for the Honor Our Veterans group contest. You may have another poem like it in you to possibly create and submit there sometime. I had a brief relationship with a man who enlisted in the Air Force during the Vietnam War. I know how concerned I was waiting for word he was well. It is harder on the family and friends than the military person.

Your rhymes and rhythm are right on. The words flowed and moved flawlessly from one thought to the next. One thing you may look at doing is to break the lines up into quatrains. I think the lines would have a greater impact.

I read that you wrote not to be afraid of your Moderator status. I had to smile because I have found every Moderator easy to talk to and to review their work. Thanks for writing this thoughtful poem. It did remind me of days gone by, but applies just as actively today.

Write on!
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Review of " THE GLORY "  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Netty,
Your poem came to my attention at the Read & Review area. It is a wonderful testament to your beliefs. The free verse was a good choice to make the statements you made. I am not sure doing an entry in all Capital letters was what I would do. As you know on the computer capital letters are like shouting. I can see what you had to shout about however so we just put it under poetic license. Thank you for sharing your spiritual poem. Keep writing.
Write on!
tracker
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178
178
Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Loyd,

I found your story, “Invisible Threads-Chapter 3” in the Read & Review section. You instructed me to read the prologue, chapters one and two which I have now read. Here are a few opinions that are solely my own. I hope they will be useful to you.

Overall impression: I immediately thought of the prominent show, “America’s Got Talent” when I read about the talent search. That show has revealed behind-the-scenes footage of contestants but not their handlers. Having some knowledge about it helped me appreciate the form and characters. (I auditioned and appeared on “The Newlywed Game” years ago). I liked the characters' names. Too often there are odd names that are not commonly used which I think makes a story less believable. The main strength of the story is the dialogue which came through as natural. I could picture myself in the conversations and part of the action, as people ran, not walked, in their pressure cooker jobs.

A couple of sentences need attention. The sentence “The judges comments were positive albeit redundant and clich. Judges needs an apostrophe at the end and I think you meant cliche not clich. The other is, “His success will be one hell of a resum/FONT> builder for” where the resum/FONT> should be removed.

Thanks for the nice large font and line spacing. It made for easy reading. I will come back to read each Chapter to find out if Gary is the overall winner. Again, welcome to our community. You are a gifted writer and a newly acquired terrific asset to WDC.

tracker

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Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Hope,

Your story appeared in the Noticing Newbies review request forum. I enjoyed reading it and had a few observations I hope will be useful for you.

I liked the premise of the story. I did not know what would happen to Finch, but it was indeed cruel what the other boys did to him. It was neat the way you had Finch mess with the teacher by cutting his debate short. I guess it does not matter what they were debating about, Finch was the best.

I found but one missing quotation mark after "A bandwagon fallacy." The grammar and spelling look fine.

Thanks for this creative story. In short order your characters were developed. I think I remember a few classmates who were as clever as Finch. Keep the stories coming!

Write on!
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180
Review of Dance, Dance  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Sonali,

Your poem "Dance, Dance" appeared on Read & Review. I have a few thoughts to share with you which I hope will be useful to you.

I felt like I was dancing as I read the words. There are so many active movements in it. The repeating of the words "They danced" added to the rhythm of the poem. I felt the freedom to dance!

The only two lines that interrupted my rhythm were "They danced the folk dance and the classic/They danced through the thin and the thick." The rhyming words classic and thick did not match the previous and next lines with the rhyming words each just one syllable.

I liked swaying to the music that your words sang. Nice job!

Write on!
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Review of Dear Me  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello elephantsealer,

I saw your name in our newsfeed and it got my attention. Bravo for writing this "Dear Me" entry. I agree with what you have expressed as the big void in the publishing world. I have read a few books published by writers here on WdC. Stories from most of the other writers are just as good. Nice character development with believable plots. The sentence structure have the periods and commas in their correct places; good flawless pieces. I see you have received a number of review and would say they were complimentary. Continue with your 2024 plan, it is a good one.

I don't aspire to be published. I like the one-on-one contacts I have nurtured here. I am the one who roots for the underdog, cheering the protagonist of the sub-plot, but most of all communicating with the author if I am happy with what was written. An author needs to know when they are appreciated and not by the bottom line sales. I will come back to see how your year is progressing.

tracker
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182
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Theactual Treasure,

I found your poem on the left sidebar under Read & Review. I enjoyed reading "Midnight Seduction" out loud several times. There was such a wonderful melodious sound and pleasing pace. The rhyme was excellent. Your words were carefully selected to relate exactly what you wanted to say. Thank you for this poem that did leave me wanting more.

Write on!
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183
Review of Let's Go.  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Sue,

As promised, I selected one of your stories to review. I chose “Let’s Go.” It was an item that was highlighted. I have some thoughts to share, that are solely mine, that I hope you will find useful.

Overall impression: I immediately appreciated the piece with the large font and double spacing between paragraphs. Opening the story with a question is a great technique to get the reader’s attention. I like stories about children going on an adventure.

What I liked: I liked that all we knew about May’s physical appearance was that she had freckles and at the end that she had red hair. Besides having a puffed jacket, we only know Mickey is a gentleman as he takes her hand to guide her through the ins and outs of the journey. He is her protector. I liked the way you worked their ages into the narrative. I was thrilled to see them escape their less-than-desirable little lives for a few hours. You have a terrific balance of narrative and dialogue! Great job!

A couple of things to bring to your attention. In the sentence "Where are we going,Mickey? We need to put a quotation mark after the question mark. The last sentence starting “He gave her a shy kiss” needs to be started after a double space. Finally, your embedded YouTube code does take you to the YouTube piece. https://youtube in the URL shows https://youtu.be has an errant period in it.

What a wonderfully sweet story of the glorious time before the teenage years set in. The build-up getting to the car has nice action, as they run, which is where I started to read faster to find out where Mickey was taking her. One last aspect I point out is the genre “other” is not specific. I recommend you use the opportunity to select a third genre. Members look at genres they are interested in so a third one will increase the chance you will have maximum
exposure.

Your writing style flows so well, it is a joy to read. It is complete with all the story elements that make up a great story. I look forward to reading other stories you have written. You definitely have a writing gift.

Write on!
tracker

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184
184
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Gervic,

I went to the Please Review page and look what I found. I settled in for a good read of your story "Dawn After The Storm-A Tale of Redemption" which did not disappoint.

Your main character Demus, aka Raven, is memorable. I picture him as a gruff-looking individual whose past is described enough to know he made some poor choices. He has been working to redeem himself. The moral is even someone who has had a dark past can make up for it with good deeds. You illustrated it likening his awakening to a light that flickered then became “a flame, a burning desire to break free from the chains of his past.” What a fabulous metaphor.

One little correction is in the first paragraph “sat hunched over a untouched mug" where the “a” should be “an” because the word after it starts with a vowel.

I liked the character of the barkeep who was cynical. It made for the tension you need in a good story. The scene in the bar was a great place for Demus to admit his change of heart. There are a number of lines that move an average story to an excellent one. Congratulations on a great piece. I look forward to reading more of your stories.

Write on!

tracker

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Review of Believe Me  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Princess Thai,

Welcome! I found your writing at the read & review area. I am pleased to give you this review of "Believe Me". These are my opinions only and hopefully, they will be useful to you.

What I liked: I like that you wrote this in free verse. It has such depth. When you can't stop your mind from thinking it disturbs everything around you. The simile that it is like a wheel is true. It reminds me of hamsters who run endlessly on their wheels and get nowhere. There is hope at the end with determination that things will get better.

There is one word correction. Collogues I think you meant colleagues.

Congratulations on your first entry. I hope you will write often "to pass the time."

Write on!
tracker
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#1300305 by Maryann

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186
186
Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello EvilEgg,

I was given your SteamPunk: A List of Themes by Beck Firing back up! today. It was in reply to my inquiry what is Steampunk? Your comprehensive list is awesome. It completely covers the numerous aspects of the genre. The way you listed them with the item in bold made it easy to read. It is a type of science fiction only going back in time with specific cues for a past era specifically with steam or watch. I now know what it is!

The list of website references is over the top great in that it must have taken a long time to assemble them. The research that went into preparing these possible themes is awe-inspiring.

Great work and a dream for a writer like me who has neither read nor written in the steampunk genre. I have everything I need right here in one place! I just may write and submit a piece of steampunk in Beck's contest. Thank you for this page. A copy is in my reference file.

Write on!
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#1300305 by Maryann

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187
187
Review of MUSIC AND ME  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Naomi,
I just read and want to review your personal story Music and Me. These are some thoughts I had which I hope you will find useful.

You wrote your story beautifully. It was in order as things happened with your singing. Having parents who sang was a blessing. I think music is a gift. Your whole family spending time together to sing and read poetry had to be the fondest memory for you.

The words you used to describe things like Mama "Swaying her body, singing and smiling." I can imagine in my mind how that looked and sounded. They were precious years and isn't it wonderful to have those great memories to look back upon?

As English is your second language, congratulations on having only a few suggestions. One is "Sometimes I alternate" where the past tense alternated would be used. I am rating this work five stars because it is such a great piece of writing.

I loved reading your story. It is well-written and a joy to see how things happened during your youth. Also, there is nothing as grand as being a grandmother. I have eleven grandchildren whom I adore. Keep up the great work!

Write on!
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#1300305 by Maryann

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188
188
Review of Safety Concerns  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Amethyst,

I am writing this review of "Safety Concerns" in response to your request for feedback on your steampunk story.

Overall impression: I really enjoyed reading the story. I particularly liked the dialogue which was clear and concise. Every exchange contributed to moving the story along while introducing your characters and what their purpose was.

The steampunk genre is new to me. Your story fits the genre perfectly well. The last line left the reader to imagine what would happen the next time. That is not used as often as it should; a cliff hanger of sorts.

You have a wonderful knack for dialogue. Your story is so well constructed where you show us, not tell us. You have no mechanical errors in your exactly 1000 word story. How did you get it to come to exactly that number of words?

Keep writing great stories. You are talented and deserve to receive continued praise from future reviewers.

Write on!
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#1300305 by Maryann

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189
189
Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Lou-By His Grace,

Your lyrics came up on Read & Review. Here are a few thoughts that are my opinion alone. I hope they are useful to you.

You set the frame and situation straight up in the first sentence. I took the hook and read on to find out who she was and why she was missed. Your chorus was especially poignant as I hate to see anyone cry, much less drown in their tears. I used my imagination to fill in who she was. The dramatic depth of despair narrows down to the line "The pain in my heart makes for good rhyme".

I would like to see one more quatrain to give a symbol of hope rising out of the troubling thought of missing her. You "decided to write more." Perhaps a memorable metaphor to tie up the storyline.

I don't see many works of lyrics. I enjoyed reading yours. Good job!

Write on!
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#1300305 by Maryann

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Review of Dear Me.  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Dear You, PureSciFi,

My interest was piqued when I clicked on your Dear Me entry at the Hub. Yay! A legible, larger font sized and styled contest entry. These things alone hooked me into reading your story. I loved the way you transitioned from one point to the next effortlessly. Each urged me to read and enjoy each step. It felt like stream of consciousness yet constructed in a way to make a case for your style of writing. The commitments to your writing this year are robust. It was helpful to mention the activities you took part in here at WdC. The same many of us have followed in various orders. I found the format pleasing because it can be much expedient yet boring to write a list. You filled in the reasoning behind each plan. All made for a satisfying read with a clear beginning, middle, and end. Good luck accomplishing some great output in 2024!

There is one issue to take a look at. In the ninth paragraph there is a gap between the words "because" and "anything" that is easy to correct.

Thank you for deciding to participate in writing your Dear Me entry. The best part of reviewing is discovering another expert author whose work enriches your WdC experience. Congratulations on your Dear Me story. In a few words, it is fabulous!

Write on!
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#1300305 by Maryann

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191
191
Review of Just Because...  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Ruwth,

I happened upon "Just Because" when I was wandering around your portfolio today. I love this merit badge and received one of them last month. The flowers are a beautiful pastel color which is so warm and inviting. The best part was reading about how it came to be. You had a wonderful vision of a badge that is a pleasure to give. Your new exclusive badge with the self portrait is adorable. How lucky I am to have one!!! Nice job!

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Review of The Truth Is...  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Schnujo,

The truth is you are a wonderful researcher. It was clever to start every line of this freeform poem with "The truth is." The only one I wondered about is the word typewriter in one line. I was interested in every line. I knew about carrots making you orange and maybe one or two others. The deaths in the Shakespearian plays was public justice. Many of your entries are about true people's lives. I would guess you read many biographies.

This may have been written eleven years ago, but it has the vitality of a piece written today. Great job presented in an original way. Your writing is superb. I found no mechanical errors. Due to that and the original, unique way you presented this I am rating it five stars.

Write on!
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#1300305 by Maryann

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Review of Cricket Review  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there!
I was jut scrolling down the messenger list looking to see if a certain person was on and caught your name. It was such a cool name I had to come visit your port. This signature is the coolest one I have ever seen. Now I am off to see what the Paper Doll Gang Is! Eventually, I will read an item of yours and review it properly.

tracker
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Review of Summer Camp  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Atemu12,

I visited your portfolio today as a follow-up to my first visit to welcome you to WdC. I see "Summer Camp" has been reviewed twice. I am adding my thoughts. They are solely my opinions which I hope will be helpful to you.

What I liked: You have great storytelling skills. You used an inviting first sentence to get me engaged. I have never been to summer camp. The way you describe a couple of issues that come up, I can safely conclude it is not one of the top experiences of your life. I loved the line about your horse returning and nonchalantly eating hay.

Your story would be easier to read if you double-spaced between the paragraphs. The words "a long the trail" should be "along the trail."

You have a gift for writing an engaging true story. I look forward to reading more of your stories. Great job!

Write on!
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Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello,

Your poem "Sam Adams Secret Life in the Shadows" came up in the Read & Review section. I did not know until I got there I would be looking at an eight line poem for the activity Say it in Eight. It is fine. You can review a short work as easily as a longer one.

Overall, this poem was a good story. The first line saying your protagonist had a secret hooked me. When his secret was being a secret agent man, my mind took me to the song "Secret Agent Man'. You showed the audience things involved in being a secret agent including "secrets and lies." Again my mind thought of books I have read about secret agents.

Just a suggestion. You are limited to eight lines. There is a repetition of the lying/lies. Perhaps on the second reference you could remove that line, "lying and deceiving." For line seven use the one you have near there, "interfering in the affairs of other countries. A new eighth line could then show a resolution or opinion of a secret agent one way or the other. Something like, "All action needed to protect American lives." I think that would give the poem a purpose to tie it into the beginning. The way it ends now seems flat and unfinished. Remember, this is only one person's opinion. I hope it will be helpful.

One other thing is in the title itself. It should read Sam Adams' Secret Life with the possessive apostrophe I believe.

The poem is free form seemingly without a syllable and definitely with no rhyming pattern. The poem is okay. I got the feeling you, the author, do not like the lies and deception a secret agent's job entails. It may be more effective to put it out there and let the audience decide.

I enjoyed reading your work. The eight-line challenge I think is very difficult. Being confined to a few lines makes what you write is important to the success of the message.

Write on!
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196
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Review of Haunted  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Angelica,

I found your children's contest Halloween story on Read & Review. Haunted is an innocent little story written for the Not So Scary Halloween contest in October 2022.

Overall impression: You are correct, it was not scary at all. You provided the opportunity to meet the children in their own home environment, and we got to know their personalities well. You developed their characters through their interaction with the varying offerings of the haunted house.

The form of the word handful was confused. if you had four candies it would be four handfuls of candy, plural. When Mike "looked at a funny looking green face," repeating the forms of look could read smoother by changing the first "looked" with a word like glanced or noticed the face.

The story revolves around a simple, effective plot taking place in a haunted house. I enjoyed that the children were not unnecessarily broadsided with mean horror tricks. No need for them to have bad dreams from a happy fun Halloween holiday. I enjoyed reading your story, as I have other stories you have written. They are interesting and clear in their purpose which makes reading as your audience a pleasure.

Write on!
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Sharing, caring, helping each other to get through the days. Writing, delighting many ways
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Review of Alex + Emily  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello Sebastian, and welcome to WdC.

I found you in the Noticing Newbies forum. You mentioned you had three chapters posted. I made a note to myself to look at them tomorrow. I did take a peek, got hooked, and read the entire story immediately rather than waiting until tomorrow. I am reviewing it in its draft form. The opinions expressed are my own. I hope they will be helpful.

Overall Impression: The presentation with a larger than the site's default font was a joy for me as it was easier on my old eyes. The paragraphs were not long. As I was hooked by the first line, it was hopeless of me to think I would not just sit down and find out where the plot would lead me.

I liked everything from the character development to back up the desires Emily has to somehow move from boredom to bawdom. The comments of others about their relationship supported the belief in the alleged perfect love couple. I was drawn in deeper with the events in her dream. I felt such hope that something was going to change. When it did not I felt the letdown she was feeling at the end of Chapter 3.

I know you have not done the final editing. I noticed "Or react any different" which sounds better as differently. "The tales of desires that was" should be were. "Where they were headed to" remove to.

Alex and Emily is my story. You wrote it as I lived it. I found it well-written with all the elements of a great short story. You left me wanting to read more which is the ultimate of a writer's job. Kudos!

Write on!
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#1300305 by Maryann

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Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Kate,

Welcome to WDC. I saw this story Chicken Noodle Soup you linked on the Community 48-hour Challenge. It is wonderful to see your first story which I have just read and am providing you with feedback. Reviews have a high priority here.

Overall Impression: Congratulations on posting your first story which is a good one. This is the story of a homeless person who receives soup at a soup kitchen. Attention is paid to the fact she stares at her server in awe of the kindness bestowed upon her. Taking on a dark theme and weaving your story logically to the end was admirable. I have a weakness in this genre.

The things I liked included the idea, the plot, and the insight into the mind of someone needing a basic need filled. With your descriptive words I saw the frame you provided between the dumpster and the serving station. You write with active words which gives the story energy.

The added enjoyment is the piece is mechanically flawless. Grammatical or spelling areas have a way of spoiling the whole piece of writing. There is a way to increase the font size to make it easier for the eyes to read. In the taskbar you will see a box in the middle with three S. You have font size choices. The size 4 is a nice larger size and the size I am using here.

Welcome again. I look forward to your next stories/poems/writing.

Write on!
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#1300305 by Maryann

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Review of Mutiny  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Anni Pon,

I am reviewing your recent poem Mutiny I am not sure how I came upon it but I am glad I did. The word mutiny conjures up discontent of some kind. I read your poem with increased curiosity. There is a "Captain" running the ups and downs of your body for whom you have little control.

The poem's style was evident with the lines, syllables, and rhyming patterns. Well done! It was not one I see often, which made the reading much more interesting. The analogy of mutiny with the major life-sustaining organs was brilliant. Nautical words like "sailor's warning, Captain steered, and the timbers shivered" tied the theme together to a real mutiny. My favorite line is, "Unseen, a serpent slithered
Below deck, a hiss from Liver" then continuing with the alliteration for the rest of that stanza.

One minor correction to make is the first line in the next to the final stanza. "Captain Hale , ill-fated" there is a space between Hale and ill-gated.

Congratulations on writing Mutiny. It was relatable to me as an older person with some body parts not wanting to join my life party!

Write on!
tracker
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WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann

A clover image for the Power Group to use


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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200
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Sumojo,

Your poem came up in the BY ONLINE AUTHORS field. As it turns out, "Water under the Bridge" is a timely reminder of the salve that is forgiveness. The payoff, peace, is so sweet.

I appreciated the way you handled a huge human condition in eight lines. Each word settled in its place. The opening line is the goal/solution. The words that follow are specific. Hurtful conversations and mean-spirited deeds need to flow out leaving a respite of calm.

It's a beautiful poem with deep meaning. Water under the bridge flows constantly replaced by fresh water ie: opportunities to smooth life's path. I thoroughly enjoyed clicking on your piece and receiving a soothing balm relatable for me and for people in general.

Write on!
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disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  (E)
Sharing, caring, helping each other to get through the days. Writing, delighting many ways
#1817507 by dogpack:saving 4 premium: DWG

Made by Hanna


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