The description of the magic used by the elf is very interesting. The use of evocation, transmutation, and fascination all in one short spell was very well done. However, I thought there could be more description in the fight scene (if you could call it that) and a little less during the build up. I seemed to have been confused as to when the first man was killed only by going back through and rereading I was able to see that the second one killed was a man. I had mistakenly missed that death.
I really enjoyed the tone and pace of the entries in Anna's diary. It does leave the reader wanting more information from the Colonel and response from the professor. I do believe that I was left wanting more but of what I am not sure--maybe I am looking for more description of her inner turmoil or struggle. Since I don't have a lot of experience critiquing others writing, I am afraid I cannot exactly put my finger on what I seem to be missing. I am missing the connection of the "will will will...bare seed seed seed".
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/tristanny
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 1:30pm on Nov 18, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
