The colour rhyming relations kind of give the poem a bad first impression when it's read, and the yellow/mellow rhyme could improved, but I do really like it. The ending is very good, a great way to conclude the poem, but if I were you I'd switch that yellow/mellow one. Very good job though.
I went to review this based on the name - which I like - but the poem is... well it is not bad, but maybe I am not one for poetry. In my opinion, it is repetitive, but it's supposed to be isn't it? I very much like the last four lines though, just the starting was not very gripping to me. Good job though.
I really like this story line, I took the male day job, but there was a flaw. In the list of celebrities to see after dicking around in the stoor, I chose Morgan Freeman, but the result was Neil Patrick Harris. I like that answer better, but I just thought I'd point that out. I even added a chapter about going to a friends house after the shift. Really good though, I really enjoyed it.
The starting of the poem was kind of annoying with the "drip drip" bit, but I guess that's just how the poem goes? Well, I did like the idea, and the ending half was pretty good. I guess I'm just not into this kind of poetry, but I did like it. Maybe if it wasn't so repetitive?
This is a kind of story that I like to read. Mystery and fantasy, but it could also be real. I really enjoyed this short story, you are quite the creative writer. I had to read it a second time because I like it so much, it could easily be a movie plot (or something along the sort). No spelling mistake or any errors that I could pick up either, which I have found to be rare so far. I really enjoyed this, really good job. I hope you have a lot of stories like this one.
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