I loved it. One problem. If you are going to use punctuation in the poem, put in the correct places. When you read a poem, the commas essentially mark a stopping or breathing spot. Poems are not to be punctuation correct, except in the regard stated above. Other than that, I loved it. Thank you for letting me read it.
I hope that you plan to go on with this piece. It is very good. The story ends abrubtly. I get the feeling that it is a chapther of a book, or a short story beginning.
There are too many line breaks in my opinion. Some is good, but I think you use too many. I didn't see any syntax errors.
Very good job. Bravo.
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.06 seconds at 10:25am on Dec 27, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
