Good story dan. I like the idea of the door and trap door senerio. It played out well in my head. The story was a little perdictable to me but that really didnt matter because even if i knew what was going to happen i wanted to keep reading to find out. One other thing i think is that the last lines of the narrator should simply be "You are forgiven" It sounds more like what Jesus would/did say. Congrats on the story keep it up.
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