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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ultracooldave
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Review of The Golden Room  Open in new Window.
Review by Dave Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Good story dan. I like the idea of the door and trap door senerio. It played out well in my head. The story was a little perdictable to me but that really didnt matter because even if i knew what was going to happen i wanted to keep reading to find out. One other thing i think is that the last lines of the narrator should simply be "You are forgiven" It sounds more like what Jesus would/did say. Congrats on the story keep it up.
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