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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/uncleabbas
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14 Public Reviews Given
20 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Love is Blind  Open in new Window.
Review by Abbasali Rozais Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Soar is spelt as that not sour... I was wondering what was wrong.

It's very deep and brings out a lot of feeling. I love the rythm and all that... Only the spelling mistake.
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Review by Abbasali Rozais Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Its funny at the end. Very good you should keep up the good work.

I love the rhyme and the ryhthm, you've got it and done it well. Pat yourself on the back and get back to the paper with your pen.
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3
Review of Two Hearts  Open in new Window.
Review by Abbasali Rozais Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Perfect... The last paragraph however is not in phase with the rest of the poem... You need to work on that...
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4
Review of The Search  Open in new Window.
Review by Abbasali Rozais Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I see lot's of stuff in between the lines, which is really good, nevertheless, I can't help but feel that it's a bit too cliche.

Also some of the rhyme appears to have been deliberately inserted without any actual necessity or sense. You should try and work on this.

The message is clear though and the idea is beautiful.
5
5
Review of A Love Poem  Open in new Window.
Review by Abbasali Rozais Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Good. The style and flow is good, but you need to perhaps shorten or break up some of the lines. There length tends to interfere with the flow.
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Review of Dirty Church  Open in new Window.
Review by Abbasali Rozais Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Absolutely fantastic. Nothing to report. Only, you could pay just a little more attention to the rhyming of the words. The rythm is good.

The flow is vey good and very smooth. And, as is always wonderful in poetry, there's a whole lot of stuff written in between the lines.

All the very best, do keep writing.
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Review of The First Kiss 01  Open in new Window.
Review by Abbasali Rozais Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Very good! you've followed the KISS rule. Keep it short and Sweet. Wonderful. you've paid attention to the rythm and rhyme, and there's syuff in between the lines, whic is very important.

However, I feel, this is a personal opinion, that you can make it a bit longer. Add in some emotion. Even if you had to be a little descriptive, it wouldn't hurt.

Well done though, I enjoyed it.

All the best
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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/uncleabbas