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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/unicorn2
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4 Public Reviews Given
44 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Unicorn Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*Smile* Hi witchy winklett,

*Delight* Wonderful story! I enjoyed this tremendously.

*Reading* Here are my review comments.

*Bullet* Starting with the title, I loved it. It's very intriguing and made me want to read the story. A good story always needs a good title.

*Bullet* The story was great from beginning to end. It's very humorous and you maintain the same tone right throughout.

*Bullet* I don’t have any suggestions for improvement. The story is terrific just as it is!

*Flower6* My favorite lines, *Flower6*
The willies are alive and well, my friends. We need to join forces against the enemy! We need to gather people to our cause!

*Star* Great work and keep writing!
2
2
Review of Birthright  Open in new Window.
Review by Unicorn Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*Smile* Hi mysticdawn!

*Delight* Great story. I loved it!

*Reading* Here are my review comments.

*Flower2* Your storytelling is excellent! This piece is very interesting and well written. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.

*Flower3* The entire story is well crafted. You've managed to stick to the word limit and still write something that keeps the reader's interest.

*Flower4* Your grammar and punctuation are perfect! I did spot one spelling error though. 'Signaling' should be spelt with one 'l' not two.

*Flower5* I really don't have any suggestions for improvement. I hope you are planning to write the rest of this story. I have a feeling it will turn out to be very good.

*Star* Good work and keep writing!

~~ Unicorn ~~
3
3
Review of That October  Open in new Window.
Review by Unicorn Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
*Smile* Hi fearthebelljar!

You've written a good story. It's very moving, emotional and sad. Good work!

Here are my review comments.

*Reading* The begining
I found the begining very captivating! It was almost like poetry with very strong emotion. It made me want to continue reading.

*Reading* The flow
I found the flow of the story to be a little uneven and a bit difficult to follow the first time around. You might want to revise the order of the paragraphs. I think the fourth paragraph can come as the second.

*Reading* The end
The ending was great! It was very poignant and you can really feel the grief. It's the perfect conclusion!

*Reading* Other elements
The story held my attention all the way through. The emotions were very real and I could relate to them well.

There were a few errors.

What did I need to break open? Too grieve for you?
This should be What did I need to break open to grieve for you?

I feel your lost most poignantly ...
This should be I feel your loss most poignantly ...

*Star* Overall this is a very good piece. It just needs a bit more fine tuning.

*Smile* Keep writing!
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