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88 Public Reviews Given
88 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Paranoia  Open in new Window.
Review by Unique Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Bob,

First of all, I'll like to mention that whatever I'm going to write now as a review to your short story are my personal thoughts, and advices, if you feel it is useful for you then take it or please please ignore it.

First of all, I want to congratulate you on writing such a nice and unique story :)

I liked it very much.

However, I thought, it was not a story which should be put in Erotica, it could have been put in a simple short story or some other genre, I don't know, but I felt so.

Names of the characters were unique and hard to read :) but, sounded nice :)

I liked Histriani's character, it was full of life and skepticism, and curiosity :) Her points/skepticism seems to be right though as I myself have heard in one of my companies recently that there are lots of organisms within our body, which I was not aware of until recently.

Spider, which came in between the story was a nice twist :) and that's what brought Dr. and her close, which made the story more interesting :)

You are a great and a unique writer.

Keep Writing!

Regards,
Ajay.
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Review by Unique Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Newbie Help And Support Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Tom,

How are you? Hope you remember me still :)

I finished reading these 3 chapters today, was reading bit by bit since weeks whenever I got time, so I didn't forget my promise :)

You story is mind-blowingly interesting :)

I loved reading each paragraph, each line, each word of your story.

You are a great writer, man.

Please let me know as to how can I read more chapters of this story, as I've finished reading these 3 beautiful and great chapters.

Cheers!
Ajay.
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Review by Unique Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Newbie Help And Support Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi John,

First of all, I'll like to mention that what I'm going to write here as a review to your poem are my personal thoughts and suggestions, if they are useful for you take them otherwise please ignore them.

I can see that you just joined this beautiful community for writers, so Welcome to the great Writers Community.

As a newbie here, your poem is good, I personally liked it, and agree with your thoughts in the poem about the world and earth. I myself fear for the world for the predicted disaster on December 21st or 22nd of 2012, hope it doesn't happen.

Your writing is good, keep writing.

Cheers!
Ajay.
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Review by Unique Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


Hi Karate Chic,

Your title is great. The next line gives a bit of an idea what a reader can expect from your poem.

I loved each word, line, stanza of your poem, and this has rarely happened to me :) I loved reading your poem.

It was very well written. It had a very nice tone to it which was constant, which is excellent.

You're a great writer.

Keep writing!

I'll love to visit your port soon to review some of your other writings too.

Cheers!
Ajay.
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Review by Unique Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi,

First of all, I'll like to mention that whatever I'm going to write now as a review to your poem are my personal thoughts and suggestions, if they are useful for you then take them otherwise please ignore them.

Happy Anniversary!!

Wow! I loved each line and word of your poem. I also loved the message you gave in your poem, which was loud and clear.

Your title was great, and the next line described nicely as to what a reader can expect from your poem.

"All their towns...will of been burnt to the ground."

This was the only line, which I was unable to understand properly, I think, instead of "will of been burnt" it could be "will be burnt," what do you think?

Rest all was great. Overall a great beautiful message conveying poem :)

Keep Writing!

Regards,
Ajay.

P.S. I'll love to check other writings too from your port :)
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6
Review by Unique Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi Nina,

First of all, I'll like to mention here that whatever I'm going to write now as a review are my personal thoughts and suggestions, if they are useful for you take them otherwise ignore them.

The title of your poem is good, the next line describes well what a reader can expect from you poem.

The poem started very well, the first two stanzas were great. From the third stanza it confused me a little, and in the last two stanzas it confused me completely as to what you wanted to say and what did it mean.

As per my suggestion, try to keep the poem in one mood and try to maintain the interest and clarity in the poem till the end, you started off very well, just seemed to have lost a way a little bit from the middle to the last.

Keep Writing!

Cheers!
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Review by Unique Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi,

I really loved reading through your entire "Writing and Editing Advice" helping article.

I learnt a lot about punctuation from my English trainers in my companies, and other words like 'into,' 'at least' etc I learnt by reading on writing.com and other writings online.

But, your article was a great read, and certainly enhanced my knowledge. I'll certainly like to read more of such stuff from you, and would like to visit your port too soon. I'll also request you to visit my port, and give your precious feedback.

Regards,
Ajay.
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Review of Bottled Up  Open in new Window.
Review by Unique Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Brainstormers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi,

Again, a very beautifully written nice poem.

I liked this poem too, which depicts the reality at such times.

Keep Writing!

Cheers!
Ajay.
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Review by Unique Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Brainstormers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi,

Very good poem.

I liked it.

Your poems are good.

You are a good writer.

Keep Writing!

Cheers!
Ajay.
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10
Review of THIS DISEASE  Open in new Window.
Review by Unique Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Brainstormers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi,

I liked your poem. It was short but beautifully written and described.

I loved the way you write.

Keep Writing!

Cheers!
Ajay.
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11
Review by Unique Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi,

First of all, I'll like to mention here that whatever I'm going to write now as a review are my personal feelings, thoughts and suggestions, you can take them if its sueful for you, or ignore them if you don't like them, as you would know better as an author what is good and what is not for your writing.

The title was good, the next line explained a bit more about what a reader can expect, which was good. Apart from the Tulips and the mother, nothing else left that much of an impact in the story. Even children were not elaborated on much.

The story somehow failed to impress much, but the message you tried to convey was good.

Regards.
12
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Review by Unique Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi,

I liked your poem.

The title caught my attention, and made me click it to review it :) The short description of one line below it also ensured that I review the poem.

You have beautifully described about the change in the world within 100 years of your mother's existence, and rightly appreciated your mother for being 100 years and ten months old.

However, what I felt was that your last paragraph was uncalled for, as the way the rest of the paragraphs went, you could have given last paragraph a miss to keep up with the mood of the poem. This is my suggestion only based on what I felt as a reader and writer, its upto you whether to take it or leave it as per your convenience, after all you're the author, and the author knows the best what is good for his/her writing.

Regards,
Ajay.
http://www.writing.com/main/handler/item_id/130030...
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Review by Unique Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Beth,

First of all, I'll like to wish you "Happy Mother's Day!!" :)

Then, I'll like to congratulate you on writing such a nice life story of yourself and your mother.

Yes, Faith is the major part of our life. If we have faith in anything, and especially faith in all the good things of life, we will conquer any obstacle, any problem in our life.

Your mother, though, didn't say much with words, but her actions spoke volumes about her faith in life, as is said, "Actions speak louder than words."

She even gave you strength and faith by keeping you on the right track despite losing some of the immediate family members. That's the strength of Mothers.

Regards,
Ajay.

http://www.writing.com/main/handler/item_id/130030...
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Review by Unique Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
First of all, I'll like to mention that whatever I'm going to write here is what I felt and thought while and after reading your story, you can take a clue from it, but if you don't like it then you can completely ignore it as per your convenience.

I didn't like your story that much. It is not that very interestingly described as it should have been, the story was good, but language was not that easy for readers to get involved with the story and enjoy reading. This is my suggestion.

"who expose more than is their wonted share of pride"

It would be 'wanted' you may have mistyped.

Regards
15
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Review of Trick or Tweet  Open in new Window.
Review by Unique Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
"Sleep is no longer a friend, so I plan to write until I finish this story."

Very true, after certain age sleep is no longer your friend. Great sentence, I loved reading it.

"I locked eyes with Courtney over Carolyn’s shoulder and made a feeble attempt at a warm smile, trying to melt her icy stare."

Again, a very good sentence.

Your entire short story is great. Remember today I read another short story from you and that was great too. I strongly suggest you to try and get these short stories of yours published.

You're an awesome writer. Readers will certainly love your writings/books.
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Review of Stay  Open in new Window.
Review by Unique Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.0)
Poem was good, not upto the mark though, it could have been much better.

"God please, stay right here, come back here, do not disappear"

These lines were repeated in all paragraphs, which is okay, but maybe it was overdone.

"hands on the clock, my one enemy"

This line seemed to be useless, as it didn't tell anything, and seemed a bit misplaced.
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Review of The Sound  Open in new Window.
Review by Unique Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Wowwww, simply superb :)

I loved reading the entire short story, it got me interested with few initial paragraphs. I read lot of it at night, and the rest nw, the next day in the morning. It generated so much of interest that despite forgetting how to look for your short story, I tried hard, and found it once again to read it completely.

You wrote brilliantly, describing things in so much of details that I was both surprised and inspired of the way things can be written in so much of details, and yet be so very interesting.

I suppose, your short story has all the ingredients in it to be converted into a book. With you introducing the sound again at a new house, you have given yourself a chance to write another chapter to this short story or prolong the short story.

I'd certainly like to read more of your stuff. You can check some of mine too, I'll be honoured.

Regards,
Ajay.
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Review by Unique Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.0)
This is just my thinking about your poem, please take it in the right spirit. My intention is just to help you write better and nothing else.

This poem seems dull, with no interesting words/sentences written, which could impress and/or generate interest among the readers

"I cannot do both.
I must chose what I must.
But either way,
They will be destroyed."

The only lines which I liked were these last few lines, maybe you could put lines as these in your earlier paragraphs.
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Review of Chance  Open in new Window.
Review by Unique Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
"The world is full or opportunities"

its full of opportunities, i guess

"I lay in bed and wonder
If everything is what it seems"

nice lines

Your poem seems to be good, but too simple. Try to make it a bit more interesting by putting more words, or extending the poem a bit.

All in all, a good read though :)
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Review of Vividity  Open in new Window.
Review by Unique Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Good one, colyme :)

It was good fantasy story, it aroused some sexual feelings of the readers :)

However I feel it coucld be much better, you can write much better, try to open up a bit more and write more about it.

"The thought of her still lingers in my head when I lay down for bed."

Nice line :)

"She stopped kissing me and undid my robe and told me to just lay back and feel it."

You could have increased the words/sentences here by putting it in more detail how the robe was removed and what all the robe contained.
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Review of Night Terrors  Open in new Window.
Review by Unique Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
"Could time have slipped away somehow?
And left no air for me"

Wow, I loved these lines, it speaks volumes about your confusion, situation, and deep thoughts.

"Could life have been so short, so fruitless?
For fear we’ve not been born"

Woah! These lines are awesome :) It depicts a fact about why we are born, and fear can't stop us from taking birth on this beautiful earth, even though life could be short and/or fruitless.

"Allow his thoughts to taste the air"

Again, good use of a sentence. An innovative and effective sentence.

"Smell no fear and take no notice
Unconsciousness can’t stand"

Great! loved reading every word in these two lines. 'Smell no fear and take no notice' makes us readers notice how good you're in your poems :)

"Pull the covers tightly about your neck"

Good suggestion :) Loved this line too
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Review by Unique Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
'motherly'

I was suggested by one Author here on writing.com that you must not use 'ly' and avoid using it.

"or ever equate your your tenderness."

I think, you forgot to write 'with' here and instead you wrote 'your your' in this sentence.

It was a lovely innocent poem. I loved reading every word of it. Keep it up.
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Review of Wind  Open in new Window.
Review by Unique Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
'swiftly and dangerously'

I was suggested by another writing.com author to not use 'ly' and try to avoid it.

"Bre had only ever been singed by Wind’s touch."

The word 'signed' seemed to be misspelled or something seems to be wrong with it here.

Rest is all great. The short story was unique, and very interesting. You wrote it very well.

Kudos to you.
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Review by Unique Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
"sun warmed as the smile the image writes upon his face"

"as the smile the image"??

I think, it seems a bit awkward and hard to understand for the reader.

"Her knight in shining armor wouldn’t be by to pick her up today."

"woudn't be by to pick??"

I think something is missing here.
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Review of Imagination Land  Open in new Window.
Review by Unique Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
"a great white shark barreled toward him"

It should be 'towards' I suppose

"waiting for the shark to swim on toward his next meal."

Again the same word 'toward,' it should be 'towards'

"while keeping watch for the great white."

'shark' is missing here.

"See you in morning sweetie."

it should be 'in the morning'...sorry had to write this too as the important article 'the' was missing here.
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