I didn't get to my reviews like I should have. The term ended today, and I have been swamped.
Title: On Goldenrod Road
Chapter reviewed: Indian Burial Ground
User name: Milhaud
Plot:
Two intrepid 10 year olds have an advenutre
Characters:
Larry, the Narrator, and the Eatons
Grammar:
All good. No problems
Style/voice:
I made one itty bitty suggestion
Setting:
As always, I love your descriptions. They aren't overdone. They are just right!
Overall:
Loved the line: We swaggered with false bravado along the far side of the highway until we passed the Eaton place.
Wat a fun story. I chuckled through it. You made my day.
Regards,
Ms. J
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The following is just an opinion. Take what you want and pitch the rest.
I did find a few things here are there, mechanics that could be polished. For example:
voice, who I have= who should be that
oh dear= need a comma after oh
The pain and confusion of the speaker comes through clear. The heartbreak of the end of this young relationship is evident. The emotions come through very clearly.
Regards,
Ms. J
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The following is only my opinion. Take what you want and pitch the rest.
I did notice some issues. Be sure to watch your spacing, especially around the commas. Also, you used the word had when you really didn't need it. The third paragraph really doesn't need any of these. It just weighs down the sentence with passive language.
I admire the detail and sensory imagery you used in this piece. The mood was mysterious, yet peaceful.
Regards,
Ms.
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The following is just my opinion. Take what you want and pitch the rest.
Poetry is my weakest area, but I like the review it to help me learn more about it. You've done a good job of describing the highs and lows of love. I like the comparisons and symbolism you used. I also thought your use of alliteration was clever. Overall, it's one the best poems I've read lately.
Regards,
Ms. J
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The following is only my opinion. Take what you want and pitch the rest.
This is a great tool. I like how you included examples and models. I teach high school English, and poetry is the hardest unit for me to teach. I'm always looking for new resources. This will be added to my list. Also, I found it interesting that this is laid out like a lesson plans with goals.
Regards,
Ms. J
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The following is just my opinion. Take what you want and pitch the rest.
I was hoping for a little more humor- less physical pain. I like messing with people's minds the best. For example, when someone is drunk you tell him or her that their shirt is backwards. When they fix it, tell them it is inside out. Tell the old guy who fell asleep in church that they just asked him to come up to the pulpit and testify or pray. Say to someone who is stoned, "Dude, did you just say that out loud?"
Regards,
Ms. J
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The following is just my opinion. Take what you want and pitch the rest.
What a great idea! I teach high school English, and I am always looking for ways to beef up my poetry unit. I shall add this to the list. It will be great for the kids to become more familiar with the limerick form, and collaborate together to create one. Thanks so much for the wonderful idea!
Regards,
Ms. J
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The following is just my opinion. Take what you want and pitch the rest.
This is a fun poll. I never would have thought of these characters on Survivor. I had to vote for man my Gilligan because I'm pretty sure he was a dark horse. No one would have suspected the bumbling guy to win. Thanks for the entertainment!
Regards,
Ms. J
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The following is just my opinion. Take what you want and pitch the rest.
Your premise intrigued me as I am working on my own novel set right after the war. My only suggestion for improvement would have to do with mechanics. There were some comma errors. You had some where you didn't need them, and you didn't have them in some of the complex sentences. Both are easy fixes.
This sounds like is could be a great start to a larger project. You've got the basic story line, now just expand it.
Regards,
Ms. J
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The following is only my opinion. Take what you want and pitch the rest.
Some of the information in this article I already knew; some, I did not. One Big take away for me was the information regarding the small business owners working day jobs. I hadn't thought of that. I would love to make writing a full time career, but I gotta pay the bills. That knowledge gave me some comfort and hope.
Thanks,
Ms. J
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The following is just my opinion. Take what you want and pitch the rest.
The title of this piece caught my eye. I'm at 20+ rejections and feel quite down about it. I do like your comparison of life to the balance beam. That was a good metaphor. Having said that, I'm not sure I'm ready to get back on that balance beam. Eventually perhaps... Thank you for your words of encouragement.
Regards,
Ms.J
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The following is just my opinion. Take what you want and pitch the rest.
I think this is a great article covering the basics. I found it true to form, and that it fit the trends that I am seeing in successful series. In shirt, it confirmed some of my observations. It's always to good to know someone agrees with you. I found you last step to be the most helpful/insightful. It can be applied to someone who is writing a series, or just trying to conquer a novel. Thank you for sharing this with us!
Regards,
Ms. J
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The following is just my opinion. Take what you want and pitch the rest.
What a creative way to tell the story of St. George. I never would have thought to put it in an acrostic poem form. There were a couple of places where you capitalized things and I'm not sure if they needed to be. For example, Order and Knights in the N on England. HOWEVER, it is a poem and you can bend the rules.
I do like this piece and the celebration of St. George's spirit.
Thanks for the enjoyable read,
Ms. J
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The following is only my opinion. Take what you want and pitch the rest.
I found this to be an informative essay. I like that you dug beyond the obvious and the stereotypes of women's roles on television. You made some valid points and showed that little things, like Lucy and Ethel's wardrobes spoke volumes. I don't have any suggestions for improvements.
Regards,
Ms. J
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These polls are interesting. It is actually kind of hard to decide based on just numbers. The connotations that I associate with these men are what led me to my choice. Hitler has just become such a symbol of evil that I had to go with him. It isn't an easy choice.
Regards,
Ms. J
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The following is just my opinion. Take what you want and pitch the rest.
I really enjoyed reading this essay. I love studying the cultural aspects of war. They fascinate me more than the battles themselves.
One suggestion I do have is avoid phrases like this essay... It make the writing informal and obviously we know this essay is going to discuss something, otherwise, why would it be an essay? You're better off with a strong thesis statement.
I also like how you used primary sources to gather your information. You came to some great conclusions. If you haven't done so already, you should major in history.
Regards,
Ms. J
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The following is just my opinion. Take what you want and pitch the rest.
I really like the theme of this poem. Anyone who doesn't believe in miracles hasn't spent much time with a child. The adjectives you used to describe the child were wonderful. They help reveal the theme and create a happy tone.
Regards,
Ms. J
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The following is just my opinion. Take what you want and pitch the rest.
I like the sounds that this poem creates. Also, you have used language that lends itself to to sensory words. I'm am impressed that you could used such a rigid form of poetry and the piece doesn't sound forced. The theme is interesting as well. I have no suggestions for improvement.
Merry Christmas,
Ms. J
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The following is just my opinion. Take what you want and pitch the rest.
For me, the strongest aspect of this piece was the rhyming and the beat it creates. I could see this easily turned into a song for children at Christmas. It has a good message, yet it is in simple language that I think they could understand. I don't have any suggestions for improvements.
Merry Christmas,
Ms. J
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The following is just my opinion. Take what you want and pitch the rest.
To me this seemed like a piece with many layers. What I got out of it was kind of a circle of life theme. It also sounded like the speaker is wondering what the purpose of life is, why God created life.
Regards,
Ms. J
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The following is only my opinion. Take what you want a and pitch the rest.
At first, I did find this a bit confusing and I had to reread it. That is my fault as a reader. I do like your use of personification and how the story comes alive at the end. Writers will be able to relate to this piece.
Regards,
Ms. J
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The following is only my opinion. Take what you want and pitch the rest.
Suggestions:
Well then COMMA you my friend COMMA are a heartless monster.
This piece reminds me of the short story, By the Waters of Babylon or There Will Come Soft Rains. It also reminds me a little of the children's book, The Motel of Mysteries. If you haven't read these, you should check them out.
Regards,
Ms. J
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