I wanted to return the favor and review one of your stories since you so graciously reviewed mine. On to the review!
My reaction to this story was curiosity as well as apprehensive. You captured my attention right away and I was extremely curious about the skull that Ellen was looking at. Then, when Ellen asks him why he took it, I thought to myself, why would anyone take a skull at all?
I think you did a great job with the plot and since this story was so short, I understand that you couldn't fully develop it but I would have liked to know why Paul took the skull in the first place. It seems it was rather random but I keep wondering, was there a specific reason he took it? Did the skull call to him? Does he just have a morbid fascination with the bones of dead people?
I think you did a great job with the dialog. It was believable and I could feel Ellen's frustration with Paul. I wonder about Paul though. He seemed to be in some sort of denial. It's kind of comical actually.
Your created the setting wonderfully considering the length of the story. I immediately felt the spookiness of the situation and was worried for both of them considering the crowd outside. I do think the men outside could have been expanded on. I assumed they were dead but then again, maybe they weren't. I wasn't sure.
The area of the story I enjoyed the most was when Paul chucked the skull out the window. His dialogue seemed to fit the situation and I had the impression that he was frustrated and pissed off at the same time. Great job with that.
I did enjoy the ending and it surprised me. I thought for sure they would both be dead. I could imagine Ellen lounging on the couch, maybe drinking a glass of wine while the fire roared. Still, I was also a bit confused. She seemed far too calm and relaxed about seeing his head on a stake.
Overall, I think you did a great job. The grammar was excellent, the dialogue was punchy, and the setting and plot were clear. Thanks for sharing!
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