This was disturbing (just as it was meant to be). The story itself was definitely interesting enough to hold my attention and even though there was reference to it a couple of times in the text, I was still taken off guard toward the end when I realized what was actually happening. That's a good thing! However, I'm giving a rating of 3.5 because there were quite a few spelling and grammatical errors. I won't list each one but would just encourage you to proofread it and correct.
Along the same lines, the readability of the story would greatly benefit from the use of more punctuation, particularly commas and periods. Again, I won't provide a detailed list of suggestions on this but hope you will review and update as appropriate.
Finally, and this is the place where I will actually provide some detail, there were some unsupported statements and the flow could by could be improved.
- para. 2, last sentence: you say that 'morale is low.' Can you provide a sentence or two that explains why that is so?
- para. beginning with 'In the eyes of their populace': I d'idn't understand how this paragraph was necessary. It didn't seem to be essential to any of the events that happened later.
- para. beginning with 'The accommodations in San Miguel': you mentioned the owner of the farm being cantakerous. Can you provide some supporting statements on this? I read about him yelling out orders (later in the selection) however, I didn't see this as proof of his being cranky so much as it made a statement about the lack of experience and exposure that the two lead characters had to this way of life.
WOWWWW!!!! -- I really like this poem because it is so relatable. Well, perhaps not the part about killing her but I think anyone who's ever experienced this kind of weird love? can understand how closely related it is to hate. I'm not usually much for poetry because the way the words are put together are often so cryptic. But not only could I understand what this poem was saying, I could also relate to what it was saying, and the way it was put together made me believe that the author was writing from personal experience -- perhaps even from his jail cell (LOL!). Great job! I wouldn't change a thing.
From the title I had no idea what to expect. I liked the approach of starting the article with a series of questions. Not only did it give me an idea of what the article would address but it also drew me in right away. I guess just by way of finding something to say on how to improve, I would mention that the way the first sentences in paragraphs 2 and 5 begin, they sound disconnected from the previous paragraphs. Perhaps insert a bridging sentence to make for a smoother segue.
Overall, I enjoyed the article and was definitely persuaded to go to the website mentioned to look for additional information.
I loved the sort of dry humor that this piece began with. As I read the first 6 paragraphs, I imagined it as something that would be perfect as a sketch on David Letterman. However, I must say that once the groundhog began to talk, I was disappointed for a couple of reasons. Firstly, because the initial part of the conversation between the groundhog and writer was off topic from the stated reason for the visit. Although the points made by the groundhog were certainly valid I didn't feel that it added anything to the piece.
Secondly, given the way the writer approached the first 6 paragraphs, I was expecting a much wittier way of 'interpreting' Punxsutawney Phil's answer to the 'end of the world' question -- without actually giving him dialogue. By doing this, I believe it would further highlight the ridiculousness of the whole Groundhog Day ritual. Overall, I love the concept of the piece.
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I didn't feel that it added anything to the piece.