I really enjoyed the story and look forward to reading some more when it comes out. There are only minor problems, such as typos, and a few sentences that could be restructured a little bit better as to flow more easily. For example, you typed:
The dresser plain and unadorned stained mahogany.
It is a very unusual sentence and simply doesn't flow with the rest of the paragraph, mostly because the story is written in the past tense and that sentence is a present tense sentence, if you rewrote it as ' His dressser was a plain one, made of unadorned stained mahogany." It would be the correct tense, and would also be a complete sentence instead of a fragment.
You did a great job, and the few issues you have are soo minor. you should be very proud. I hope you dont think Im nitpicking. It takes many stages of editing to perfect a novel. Good luck and let me know when you post more!!! Best of wishes :)
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/vickiekaufmann
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 1:17pm on Nov 25, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
