I enjoyed reading your passage. I am partial to philosophy and the afterlife. A particularly liked your description here;
the boy has a friend, demon maybe? Telling him something, figure is female, white with black hair shaved on the right side & shoulder length on the left side.
I didn't notice any typing errors.
I would have liked the story to be a little longer.
I enjoyed your story. It was well written. The title hooked me in and after reading the first couple of paragraphs I found myself wanting to read more.
The whole story moved at a fast pace. There were so many things happening at the same time that it kept the story interesting and made me question where this ride was going.
I do have a criticism. I thought there were some sections that had too much "babble", things that didn't pertain directly to the story. That's just my personal opinion.
Overall I thought it was a great idea for a story. It was well written and I will definitely be reading more of your material.
Mike
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