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125 Public Reviews Given
134 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of My Nightmare  Open in new Window.
Review by Aneska Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*StarB**Star*
This is a Anniversary Review

"Anniversary Reviews"  Open in new Window. by NaNoNette Author Icon



*Burstg* Overall Impression:

A short story of a woman forced to cut a deal to protect her family - and an online acquaintance that saved her.

The story had a good plotline and made me want to continue reading.

*Burstr* Technical Difficulties:

My apartment purposefully was decorated with light, airy colors. B(b)aby blue, lace curtains, soft grey carpet,(and) oak wood furniture.

me to relax a little from the nightmare.

shrill ringing

I stayed quiet after that for (,) I didn't want to say

I switched off the tube and crawled into bed – but sleep eluded me. I tossed and turned all night.

Another tragedy caused to (from) David's cruelty.

*Star* Some sentence fragments, and a few confusing sentences. Nothing that a re-edit couldn't resolve

*BurstG* Ending Remarks:

I enjoyed the duality you created with this character. Something realistic that I could see happening.


*BurstV*This is my opinion regarding your short story. Please take only what you feel is useful, and leave the rest *Smile*

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Review of The Mission  Open in new Window.
Review by Aneska Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
*StarB**Star*
This is a Anniversary Review

"Anniversary Reviews"  Open in new Window. by NaNoNette Author Icon



*Burstg* Overall Impression:

A magic fantasy story with an undefined being with a satchel full of magical objects - and a witch that wants what's inside. Good premise and a very descriptive setting. I would like to know a bit more about the main character, where he came from and why this witch wanted to find the remainder of his kind.


*Burstr* Technical Difficulties:

These are the errors on the first read (the suggestions are on the second read)

eyes and l{ay laid absolutely still

he is not out soon (,) we break down the door.”

Tosh now knowing he was out numbered outnumbered retreated. Setting his sword and shield on the bed he quickly pulled on his pants, put (h)is

one(-)room house

right and left, (and) the street was empty.

and knelt down behind a barrel

Tense changes - you seem to go between present and past tense. (I do this all the time - when writing)

night cloths clothes staring

in and out of the shadowed moon light moonlight he

to get light(-)headed and his shoulder

lightening lightning burst from the end

and threw (a) ball of flame in his direction. He blew softly on his whistle as the fire ball


Without much thought(,) Tosh peered out from behind his hiding place and gave a long blow on his whistle. Peering from behind his hiding place he gave a long blow on his whistle

He then took out his pocket knife(,) and cut the tip off the dart and removed it from his shoulder.

Ahead he could see an outcropping of rock make out a rock out cropping; “maybe a cave” he mumbled to himself.

Tosh knew he could not out gun outgun the powerful witch so he said “come and get it” as he held up the satchel and began to blow on his whistle. Knowing he could not outgun the power of this witch he shouted "come and get it", holding up the satchel Tosh began to -

There are a few more, but I'm not editing the story *Smile* - just pointing out some of the rough spots I encountered while reading


*Bursto* Favorite Line or Verse:

Her face was ashen white and her flowing hair a dark blood red. She did not walk but hovered above the ground, black robes blowing in the breeze.

You did a great job describing this character in two sentences


*Star*

*BurstG* Ending Remarks:

I didn't like the ending and wanted to know more about Tosh's kind. Where were they from, what did they look like, and why did he smile in the end?? Somewhat disappointed that the story ended without these answers. *Smile* I would have continued to read to find out more about his culture.


*BurstV*This is my opinion regarding your short story. Please take only what you feel is useful, and leave the rest *Smile*

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Review by Aneska Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)

*StarB**Star*
This is a Anniversary Review

"Anniversary ReviewsOpen in new Window.


A contest entry, but no link to the contest provided - or I would have included this in the review.

*Burstg* Overall Impression:

A fiction piece based on the Chicago fire of 1871. I very much enjoyed your use of an entire paragraph of almost all cliche phrases to describe the temperament leading up to the day of the event. The story flowed well, and nothing that particularly slowed my read. The use of the prompts assuming they were prompts due to the bold text tied well within the story, and if they weren't bold text - I don't feel the reader wouldn't notice.


*Burstr* Technical Difficulties:

Do it now, son! (omit the comma)

but in at that moment

I think that maybe "bessie" deserves capitalization because that is the proper name of the cow.

A few small clarifications in some areas such as:

Ash had begun to rain down,(.) and I looked up to see a woman, leaning out of the three story theater next door, already engulfed in flames. was the woman engulfed in flames or the building?

The final paragraph seemed a bit rushed.


*Bursto* Favorite Line or Verse:

Chicago was normally warm this time of year. You’d walk outside in the middle of the day and it was like breathing a stew that warms your soul.

*Star* I would have never described living in Chicago heat as "stew that warms your soul" - I've said many other things about Chicago heat, that is definitely not one of them. *Smile*

*BurstG* Ending Remarks:

The story read very casually like you were listening to someone telling you their personal story. A very pleasant style for this piece.

Not too sure about the horror/scary Genre - Although it does deal with death "in my opinion" there isn't enough horror to warrant this Genre.


*BurstV*This is my opinion regarding your short story. Please take only what you feel is useful, and leave the rest *Smile*

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Review by Aneska Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Seuzz Author Icon

This was a suggested read while utilizing the read and review tool.

I found this to be a very interesting opinion regarding Mob rule and how unpopular thinking can thrust a person or group into extinction.

It kind of stifles creativity when popular thinking limits the ability to create, invent and explore possibilities.

Especially when freedom of speech becomes directed speech. Of course, there are those that could take this as all speech is "good for all". Although we all know there is some speech that does good for none.

Anyway - well-written opinion piece, and it unfortunately still holds true.
5
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Review by Aneska Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Marvelous Friend Author Icon

I must say I did enjoy your crossword puzzle. It was informative and I had to look a few things up to jog my memory on the subject.

Well done!
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Review by Aneska Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Anna Marie Carlson Author Icon

I very much enjoyed learning about the other members of the Rising stars through your crossword puzzle creation!

Well thought out clues and I had to explore the ports to complete the puzzle.

Well done!
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Review of A Pirate's Life  Open in new Window.
Review by Aneska Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Jeff Author Icon

*Star* This was a suggested read while using the read & review tool.

Interesting 99 word story challenge. reads sort of like a journal entry.

A short story of a pirate looking for fame and glory

- although the Pirate may have misunderstood that the Pirates way of life was often more about freedom of living the unpredictable life on the open seas, by the ship's code, not the rule of land law and often resulted in a short-lived life.

LOL - my review was longer than your short story. *Laugh*

Well written, thank you for sharing,

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Review of The Search  Open in new Window.
Review by Aneska Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hello Whiskersandhersisters Author Icon

This was a suggested read from the read & review tool.

This is an endearing piece about how a friendship evolved into a loving relationship.

Very well written and provokes a bit of jealousy that you found a love that true. *Laugh*

I enjoyed the verse, and the poetic story flowed well.

Thank you for sharing
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Review by Aneska Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Words Whirling 'Round

*Star* This was a suggested read while using the read and review tool.

A poetic story composed of six stanzas of end rhyme.

The story flowed well and kept my interest. I enjoyed the poem.

Thank you for sharing

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Review of The Zombie Diner  Open in new Window.
Review by Aneska Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello 🌕 HuntersMoon Author IconMail Icon

*Star* This was a suggested read using the read and review tool.

Limerick, one of my favorite poetic forms.

Eight stanzas all perfectly composed.

A well written comedic verse about going out for supper, and becoming the meal. *Smile*

Thank you for sharing -
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Review of anger.  Open in new Window.
Review by Aneska Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello bee. Author IconMail Icon

*Star* This was a suggested read while utilizing the read and review tool.

A very descriptive piece about unreleased anger. The piece made several valid points yet didn't solve the issue of how to release the anger one can keep bottled up for what sometimes, for some, can seem like centuries.

The writing flowed well and kept me interested.

Thank you for sharing -

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Review by Aneska Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello Carol St.Ann Author IconMail Icon

This was a suggested read while using the read and review tool.

*Star* An Acrostic - that flowed so well that I had to take a second look to notice the form.

The seductive feeling of anticipation - in all its gloriousness.

Well written, thank you for sharing

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Review of Gary the Gnome  Open in new Window.
Review by Aneska Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello QueenNormaJean It'sa WrapY'all Author IconMail Icon

This was a suggested read while using the read & review feature.

*Star* Genre Comedy - that could have easily been flipped to horror with one or two more paragraphs detailing the gnome getting some sort of revenge on the photo-taking fan seekers. *Laugh* Just my opinion.

I found the story was well written, and no grammatical errors that stood out or slowed my read.

*Star**Star* Made me feel bad for the jack the jackalope that we tortured one year during a cross country trip. *Smile*

Thank you for sharing









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Review by Aneska Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Lou-Here By His Grace Author IconMail Icon

A Lilibonelle - written so well that I hardly noticed the repetitive line in each stanza.

Very descriptive poem creating a setting as well as revealing the sadness of economic disparity. Although this was written in 2005, unfortunately still holds true today.

*Star* Favorite Stanza *Star*

Nothing here except the music of an out-of-tune-six string
played by crippled fingers that know the meaning of blues.
I stop, tears in my eye to think the music may never return
to the bawdy clubs and strip joints on Bourbon Street.


Thank you for sharing -

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Review of Collateral Damage  Open in new Window.
Review by Aneska Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hello 🌕 HuntersMoon Author IconMail Icon

This was a suggested item while using the read & review feature.

Although this was written in 2011 - It still holds meaning.

Favorite Stanza:

Collateral damage it's called in the press,
discussed with dispassion like figures or charts.
I lose hope for our future, I must confess,
for ignoring the damage done to our hearts.



An unfortunate balance between empathy and reporting that may never be achieved.

As for the poem - Very well written

Thank you for sharing -


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Review of Unlabeled  Open in new Window.
Review by Aneska Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Smartie Author IconMail Icon

I enjoyed this poem - The confusion of an ending or a possible beginning of a relationship.

Although there were no splits between the stanzas, it was well-paced, and I found my own pauses within the poem.

Well written. Thank you for sharing
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Review by Aneska Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Destiny Author IconMail Icon

Interesting free verse

*Star* Favorite Stanza

- although there may be one small error

The things that have been said to me,
I will take then to my grave
Sometimes the bad
is easier to believe than the good


- You might have meant "them" instead of "then".

I enjoyed the poem in it's entirety
Thank you for sharing
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Review by Aneska Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hello Turkey DrumStik Author IconMail Icon

This was a suggested piece, while using the read & review feature of the site.

A very well written poetic expression.

*Star* Favorite Stanza
The sun rises a bright bloody red.
I'm already up, fitting myself new armor.
My weapons are cleaned, polished and set.
I grab my equipment and rush to my troop.


I enjoyed reading this - Thank you for sharing
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Review of You Are Blind  Open in new Window.
Review by Aneska Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello G. Clark Author IconMail Icon

This was a suggested read while using the read & review feature

Interesting format you chose for this poem.

Seems to depict relationship issues in which the significant other is, as you repeat several times in the verse, "blind" to the issues you are experiencing.

Well written, Thank you for sharing



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Review by Aneska Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Redtowrite Author IconMail Icon
Difficult to review in this current political climate, especially after today's events. - but let's give it a go.

I'm not going to touch on the politics - My review isn't based on right, left, middle, black, white, brown, gold, green, or any shade there of. And since I have to write this disclaimer, you can see why this makes this all the more difficult to give any meaningful opinion. - But you deserve a review for your efforts.

Very insightful poem - the rhyme scheme made it flow and the meaning was easy to follow.

Thank you for sharing

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Review by Aneska Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Jeff Author IconMail Icon

Your contest entry popped up while using the read & review feature.

Cute story of a dragon-wolf, a blind Elf, and a non-magical archer. Including references to Robert Frost's - A path less traveled.

I read the contest premise because you included the link - interesting contest.

Overall a good story - Hope you did well in the contest.

Thank you for sharing
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Review by Aneska Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Happy to write Author IconMail Icon

I was enlisted to care for my aging Aunt - and this pretty much describes her. Although there was no 3:00 quit time - I lived with her.

Very relatable write - Thank you for sharing
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Review by Aneska Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Jade Jaspers Author IconMail Icon

This was introduced clicking the read & review feature of the site

I very much enjoyed this - it was a pleasurable read and flowed so well.

*Star* Favorite Line

And youth is not a wished for thing but brought anew in shower rains
To wash away the makeshift madness and bring to life a new day's gladness


Thank you for sharing -


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Review by Aneska Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello mchupta44

This is a very well written poem - I enjoyed it.

And it's true, Money isn't everything - but it sure does help when you are trying to retire. *Smile*

Thank you for sharing your talent!
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Review of Guilty Pleasures  Open in new Window.
Review by Aneska Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello ruthie4u

This read a lot like Prose -

A life changing encounter that put the character in a struggle between the life she led and the new excitement of the life she is now leading.

*Star* favorite lines:
He showed her a world she never thought she had ever wanted. She suddenly longed for it. Her tranquil and peaceful existence suddenly felt mundane.

A few spacing errors that should be corrected, but overall well written

Thank you for sharing
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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/wanmil