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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/williamjf
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66 Public Reviews Given
67 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Time to Wake Up!  Open in new Window.
Review by WilliamJF Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
The sleep paralysis is interesting. I felt this could've been written in the third-person.
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2
Review of Magrev's Mistake  Open in new Window.
Review by WilliamJF Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
The references to history are interesting. I don't know what Chernobyl is.
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3
Review of The Original Move  Open in new Window.
Review by WilliamJF Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
the theme of chess is interesting and unique.
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4
Review of The Corridor  Open in new Window.
Review by WilliamJF Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I like the sense of clastrophobia in the end. I also like the theme of nature.
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Review by WilliamJF Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I like the reference to witchcraft or wizardry.
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6
Review by WilliamJF Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I really like the theme of possession, especially the idea of possessing the dead.
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7
Review of Horror Story  Open in new Window.
Review by WilliamJF Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
The theme of writing / literature felt a bit cliche.
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8
Review of Snokum Joe  Open in new Window.
Review by WilliamJF Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
The theif's casual behavior after the paranormal event is funny, as well as his thoughts on the next tomb.
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Review by WilliamJF Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I like the baseball references and theme. The early descriptions of the battle, like "explosions rained concrete and glass," are my favorite.
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10
Review by WilliamJF Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
The reference to Odin is interesting. I like the traditional / folklore setting or exposition.
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11
Review of The Scream  Open in new Window.
Review by WilliamJF Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I like the sense of betrayal. I also like her description of being ice cold to touch.
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12
Review of Intent  Open in new Window.
Review by WilliamJF Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
The theme of discrimination is interesting and insightful.
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13
Review of The strange man  Open in new Window.
Review by WilliamJF Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I felt this story could've been formed into paragraphs. The theme of sadism is insightful.
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14
Review of Dad  Open in new Window.
Review by WilliamJF Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I like the familial setting. I felt the story could've been focused more on the relationship between Michael and the dead.
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Review by WilliamJF Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I like the theme of vision, especially its figurative interpretation, "It's time to see for yourself." I also like the detail to nature, especially of the snowbird and its effect on the son.
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Review by WilliamJF Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I felt the literature theme was a bit cliche or redundant. Your descriptions of Cameron's actions and feelings, in the final few paragraphs are interesting, especially those similar to being possessed.
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Review of Transformation  Open in new Window.
Review by WilliamJF Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
The transformation into a fish-like creature is interesting. I like the strong sense of demise in the last few sentences. I felt the story title could've been different.
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18
Review of Plumber's Crack  Open in new Window.
Review by WilliamJF Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
The stories relation to recent events is interesting. I like your description of the plumber.
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Review of The Letter  Open in new Window.
Review by WilliamJF Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Walter's obsession with glory is humorous. The reference to Cerberus is interesting.
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20
Review by WilliamJF Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Your details of the combat is interesting, especially with comparisons to weapons like "sledgehammer" and "pitbull's jaws." I like how the predator-prey situation was reversed.
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Review of Samosa and Gwyll  Open in new Window.
Review by WilliamJF Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I laughed when the wraith would go backwards because of Tash's breath. I didn't understand how a knife could harm a ghost-like entity. I like your attention to the description of food.
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Review by WilliamJF Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
The title could've been different and I'm not sure why the character's have full names for such a short story. I like the sense of mystery throughout the piece, especially with the questions in the beginning. I like your description of electricity in the first paragraph, especially as an invisible force.
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Review of Hell's Front Door  Open in new Window.
Review by WilliamJF Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I like the Halloween setting.
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Review of Cars  Open in new Window.
Review by WilliamJF Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
The reference to controlled substances in the third sentence is interesting. The forecast of the main character's death is especially horrific.
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Review of The Building  Open in new Window.
Review by WilliamJF Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I like your attention to environmental details. I like the image of the city engulfed in pure darkness. I also like the paragraph detailing the encounter. In the sentence, "Looking even closer, I noticed something which sent a chill along my spin," did you mean "spine" instead of "spin?"
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