I like your work, but there are some things, I would like you to notice. As you probably know there are some rules to poetry, one is which style that one uses. I would call this the free style. Normally it goes like :
A + B + A + B or
A + A + B +B
This means;
example:
A : I have to love
B : kiss you among flowers
A : free as a dove
B : as we are lost in our powers
so the last one should give it self away. - But this is other styles and are not considered as free style, where one does not have to rime in any curtain way.
I off course think you know all this :)
My personal opinion for this specific poem:
I like the free style, but I need something more about the inside feelings.
If I understand the poem correct, then the enemy there is written about, within this person. But in one place everything takes place on the field, which suddenly takes me away from her inner emotions over to a real battle- which in one way sounds okay, if there was more, but I get confused because I am missing something.
But do not get me wrong, I like it! :)
Sincerely,
Karima
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