That was very well written! In only 7 lines you showed a lot of emotion, but you might want to add some more lines so that the readers of the poem can relate to it more.
For example:
"For all the heartache you have caused," you might want to add some more about what he had caused, or how it made her feel.
Great ending line for the poem though! Keep up the great work!
I loved the description of the way you saw everything from the boy’s eye. All the thought and detail added a lot a gave a very interesting picture to read.
The ending gave a very nice impression on the story, but in the beginning it was a bit confusing until it got a little cleared up towards the end.
That was great. One of the best effects you gave it was the ending, I loved the way it ended.
One thing though that I thought of was amount of detail that from time to time you can still put in, to describe a little, to see what you see. Like the amount of emotions you put in the poem.
You might want to make words complete and not IM language for example when you wrote "u" instead of "you" becuase it gives a nicer way to read. Especially for poems...
Also a little more feelings or detail might add, but keep up the great work, I liked it.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/witty_writer
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.08 seconds at 9:58am on Dec 23, 2024 via server WEBX1.