Entertaining, and I love the first poem. Overall this is fun, but could use some expansion, and more action to display character/personality. A very good start.
Very cute, mostly well done. The viewpoint shift at the end seems a bit sudden, and I'd like to hear more about why Vesta doesn't like Amy, other than her perfume. A bit confusing, Amy has paid a few visits, in the first section, but then is reassured she'll love Vesta the instant they meet at the end.
This is terrific, as in terrifying and still extremely funny. Being a cat servant, I thought I saw the punch coming at "half-a-dozen" cats (I was wrong), but I can actually see and smell the unexpected ending. Very well done!
This is ridiculous, and like all good character-driven comedy, you just can't point to a spot and say here, this is where it all went wrong. This needs a bit of proofreading, but I'm looking forward to the next episode. Very well done!
I wish "other" had a place to specify who the other would be. I'd pick the closest thing to a real MacGuyver I could find. I'd never just accept banishment, and when I got back, boy, would I be pissed!
This is entertaining, but not a short story. A story has a beginning, middle and end, a situation which must be resolved, and should show some change, somewhere. However, this is a great start to a possible short story. Show us the events which led up to the hanging. Your protagonist has the start of a great character, now give the victim/criminal some personality. Give us the whole story, this is worth expanding on.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/wordwarrior
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.08 seconds at 10:23am on Dec 22, 2024 via server WEBX1.