I really enjoyed your usage of the inner voice for your main character, I am writing using this form of inter speech. The story is just a tad wordy, more could have been stated with less paragraphs. Your use of visuals in the descriptions of the water dripping and the changes made to a icy/slush are inspired. Looks like you have an interesting idea/story line here. All my best to you as you work through the upcoming passages.
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