Wow, just wow; achievement- You have just silenced a writer leaving her in pure awe.
I think there`s minimal improvements you could make to this. I can say very little, this is a piece beyond my own abilities. Such approach as yours is; so subtle, showing many views and with such structure where introduction, main and ending intertwine in a delicate fashion is surely appreciated by the likes of sophisticated readers. This is a very beautiful and reflective piece, deep enough to make an impression and simple enough to be understood.
Most favorite bit: "Bright lanterns, yet marbles scattered by infants to scare away darkness" & the whole of the second paragraph=perfection.
Least favorite bit: No element of this text displeases me, but if I have to chose one part which has had the least impact of them all it would be "Hiroshima left forgotten and blushing"
Keep on writing and kindly check out my portfolio!
This is great! At the beginning I thought it was a bit weak but soon enough you conquered my attention. Fully.
Least favorite bit: "feeling good is the best way to survive" & "kid-like behavior makes my life fully complete."
Most favorite bit: "Truth and reality, give me the difference!" & "The earth that lies beneath my foot will be brightened with every input"
I dont like so much the lines endings with "because" for it seems to leave a tiny space for self-doubt, which I doubt is what you wanted to show. Also some kind of ending and introduction would be nice too, though unnecessary, it might just be my conservationist way of seeing it.
This story seems to be about a loose thought in the mind of a young individual who reassures him/herself of his/hers own potential. A great topic seeing that there are too many poems about love and feelings towards another.
Keep writing and kindly check out my portofolio too!
Bravo! this is very beautiful and interesting, your main idea has been presented in a very well adorned manner,
however the flow could be worked on, there`s a little too much description, so it lacks mystery, somethings are supposed to be interpreted, not explained,
Fave bit: "Her life became bitter and lonely and she often found herself wondering through the chambers and corridors of her palace searching for something that she had lost."
Least fave bit: "Once upon a time there lived a very beautiful princess who ruled over a vast domain. One day, while strolling through one of her favorite forests she came upon what she thought was a charming prince."
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