Greetings Lou! Today I had the pleasure of reading and reviewing your work Bitter Tears. Please keep in mind that this is all a personal opinion, and ultimately it is up to you to decide what is best for your writing; Let's get started!
First Impressions Descriptive, very imaginative, and a nice pace and flow all throughout. Wasn't very, actiony or magical, but had a nice nitty gritty feel.
Good Things I Noticed As above, but also: No spelling errors I noticed, I actually quite like the formatting of the poem, and it was easy to imagine being alongside the person described.
Constructive Criticism Not much to say here, it was a well done poem! My usual preference for poetry is something a little bit more fantasy, but this piece held my attention and was an enjoyable read!
Things To Take Away Skillful word choice, all around a good work. Not my usual genre, but I highly enjoyed it.
Thank you very much for sharing your work! Keep Writing! -C. Yarn Weaver
Greetings Zenchick(nice name by the way)! Today I had the pleasure of reading and reviewing your work Dreaming. Please keep in mind that this is all a personal opinion, and ultimately it is up to you to decide what is best for your writing; Let's get started!
First Impressions Was very nice, the flow was great, definitely an enjoyable bout of whimsy :)
Good Things I Noticed As stated above, but also: Your word choice was excellent, and the adjectives and descriptions provide plenty of room for the reader's own imagination.
Very well done!
Constructive Criticism In stories they say to capture the reader with the first sentence, it's also the same with poetry! In future works just keep that in mind.
Also, stylize it a bit! Add color, enlarge the first word, it will help catch your reader's attention.
Things To Take Away Great poem! Highly enjoyed it, maybe add a bit more pop, but otherwise you are spot on!
Thank you very much for sharing your work! Keep Writing! -C. Yarn Weaver
Greetings Tim! Today I had the pleasure of reading and reviewing your work Chances Of A New Tomorrow. Please keep in mind that this is all a personal opinion, and ultimately it is up to you to decide what is best for your writing; Let's get started!
First Impressions Very flowy, and has an excellent pace from one verse to the other. The ending was skillfully executed, and the poem itself was well done.
Good Things I Noticed As mentioned above, but also some 'extra' points.
The vocabulary was rich and employed effectively, and the topic is shown in a very ponderous way. Good Job!
Constructive Criticism The font size I would make a tad bit larger, and perhaps make the first word larger then the rest to help stylize the prose more, and give it a pop.
Things To Take Away Well done! Perhaps play around with WritingML a bit to give it a flair, but you created an effectively deep and surreal poem.
Thank you very much for sharing your work! Keep Writing! -C. Yarn Weaver
Well done! The pace is skillful, going slow then quick then slow again. I quite liked the ending, and the simple but nitty gritty style. If I had to say one thing, it would be to format it in a more eye catching way, maybe add some color or Bold the first word?
The writing itself I have nothing against, it's a very nice piece. Keep up the good work!
Greetings Blessed! Today I had the pleasure of reading and reviewing your work The Letter. Please keep in mind that this is all a personal opinion, and ultimately it is up to you to decide what is best for your writing; Let's get started! PS: This was done for the WDC SuperPowers Raid, Enjoy!
First Impressions EXCELLENCE. I really love this poem, and have no qualms with it but a few errors with grammar.
Good Things I Noticed Word Choice; Excellent. Format; Excellent. Font; Excellent. Subject; Excellent. Getting the picture? XD
Constructive Criticism There were a few errors I noticed, I'll list them here:
victory would be mines. ( Was this purposful? If so I must admit I don't get it :3 )
When you putrid draught slaps you in your face. (Need a Your :D ) Things To Take Away Well done. Perhaps fix some confusing grammar errors, and you will be set!
Thank you very much for sharing your work! Keep Writing! -C. Yarn Weaver
Greetings Crow! Today I had the pleasure of reading and reviewing your work Looking at a place I knew. Please keep in mind that this is all a personal opinion, and ultimately it is up to you to decide what is best for your writing; Let's get started!
First Impressions I really liked this poem, it summons lonely memories perhaps not welcomed. The first thing that popped out to me though, was the font choice and color. It seemed not to fit with the melancholy words contained in its parameters.
Good Things I Noticed Your word choice was excellent. The pace was skillfully constructed, and good adjectives were chosen. ( Actually me: Niiiiiicccceeee)
Constructive Criticism Perhaps choose a more classical font, like Times New Roman? I'm not sure exactly, as every poem looks different with each font, but personally I didn't really like how large and almost comical it was, especially for so deep a poem :)
Things To Take Away Well Done!! Enjoyed it thoroughly, no problems with word choices, although the font could use some tweaking.
Thank you very much for sharing your work! Keep Writing! -C. Yarn Weaver
Greetings Willow! Today I had the pleasure of reading and reviewing your work The Laptop. Please keep in mind that this is all a personal opinion, and ultimately it is up to you to decide what is best for your writing; Let's get started! PS: This was done for the WDC Superpowers raid, enjoy!
First Impressions Your choice of subject was very interesting, and was skillfully executed. I did notice that some of the word choices seemed, well, clunky. Example: It feels so strange to have this man-made machine perched atop my lap whilst my fingers speedily translate my thoughts.
This is a very long sentence :)
Good Things I Noticed The vocabulary was rich and vibrant, setting a distinct tone for the work, and the subject was interesting.
Constructive Criticism As afore stated, some of the writing could use a smoother flow. Consider using more commas, and getting rid of some words; for example: It feels so strange, to have this man-made machine perched atop my lap whilst my fingers speedily translate my thoughts.
or;
It feels so strange to have this man-made machine perched atop my lap, whilst my fingers speedily translate my thoughts.
Things To Take Away I appreciated the well used word choices, I quite enjoyed them. Please review the flow, perhaps add some commas? Either way, very well done.
Thank you very much for sharing your work! Keep Writing! -C. Yarn Weaver
Well done HuntersMoon! I really liked the fact that I could tell what you were talking about like *snaps fingers* that. I do feel like the format could use a little work, it doesn't flow as well as it could, but it was still very enjoyable. My favorite line was the second to last in the second to last verse
Thanks for sharing!
Very well done! I really loved this poem! It stirs up emotions of regret, loss, but also sweet memories. My favorite verse was the last, it made a great impression and left me with a bitter sweet taste in my mouth. Great job, Keep Writing!
A great poem! The rhyming was great, and the format of the poem was beautiful! I can tell effort was put into it, and time invested, and not wasted either! You made a beautiful piece of prose, with an obvious and interesting story, all put together in a pretty piece of poetry. Well done!
Once upon a time there was a frog. Everyday the frog wished to be different then what it was, something other then itself.
One day, The little frog had an opportunity to fulfill its wish, and to be different, and it took it.
Because of that, the frog was never itself again, and found that it missed being itself. Until Finally the frog, which was
no longer a frog, became tired of being different, and being mocked and looked down on, and turned back into a frog,
Content with it's mud yet again, but never the same.
The end.
A good work! The idea is very interesting, and has me caught. I particularly like how you ended it, with a hook for the reader, and a perfect portal into the next section. If I had to say one thing, I would say to remember to Show, not Tell. For example, when Tom wakes up violently there were a lot of opportunities for some good adjectives and descriptors.
" A slight movement, a crimson tail lost beyond his view in moments. His heart racing, Tom bolted upright in an instant, the screams of his chickens pounding at his ears."
Just an example, but the story itself does shine through without added descriptions :)
That was amazing! I was instantly hooked on the story, and found myself wishing for more. The whole story idea is interesting, and unlike a lot of modern stories about college life I've seen, you didn't sacrifice style for humor. If I had to fix one thing, it would be that your start was not as catching as the rest of the story, even though the whole was intrigeuing. The saying That you have to catch a reader with the first sentence is true, so just remember to draw in your readers from the getgo. Otherwise out standing!
Mr/Ms Dorianne, the poem was very enjoyable! It had wit, humor, and I know how hard rhyming is, so allow me to say you did a great job! Some points I didn't like was that one: The verses were quite long, but I also have a disposition towards quick poems anyway, so this is just a personal opinion. Two, the ending felt out of place with the rest of the work, and didn't have a big punch. But again, all personal opinion, and I think that the poem was very good, even if it is out of my usual genre. Good work!
Hello Kimbug! That was a great poem, the pace was very fun, and To top it all off I learned some dolphin facts. My favorite part was "they cannot chew with their teeth, a fact that is odd", it was fun and had a great beat all the way through. Good job!
Well done! Drags up feelings of remorse but also new strength, very well done. The pace was easy to follow, and the work itself was easy to understand. Over all a good work. Doesn't have a punch unfortunately, although this is my personal opinion, and others might think differently.
Very uplifting :)
What I enjoyed most was that it really high lighted that YOU the person are strong, which is what I think a lot of people need to hear. Color scheme ways I would have chosen something A little different, but I think it really got your point across. Good job overall!
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