As it stands, and from what I personally know of the history, you have done very good job interweaving the story of of your main character and that of the historical Vlad Dracula. The content is dark and reasonably so, however I felt that the stronger language seemed out of place here in this piece. I have no objection to vulgarities on the whole, it's just that when writing a period piece as I believe you were doing, it is important not to take the reader out of the established time frame with such language. Otherwise, your story is very well written and I believe you have put very much consideration into a fluid style for this piece. You carefully choose important details to include, which is essential in such short pieces.
Grammar/Spelling Mistakes:
I notice no glaring grammatical mistakes, however here "I gagged and spat and chocked on the words..." I believe you meant to type choked.
Overall:
Very good. The ending did well to drive home the depravity of Dracula and the fate that awaited the protagonist was disturbing to say the least. Keep writing!
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 5:06am on Dec 22, 2024 via server WEBX1.