I really, REALLY love this. I encourage you to use more capitalizing, and as a writer I should tell you to also use more punctuation, but that would also make me a hypocrite because I myself never use punctuation in my poems.
Anyways, I really liked the repetition of the phrase, sweet broken angel. It almost gave it a romantic essence, but not. Sorry. I don't even know what I mean by that. My favorite part was...
"sweet broken angel
I've felt and I feel what you feel
Death has been my shadow too
seducing me
drawing me
closer
I say to you
courage
sweet broken angel
you are beautiful"
Wow, I loved this. I especially loved the first 2 um... what are they called again?? haha, um, verses i guess. Anywho, they had excellent rhythm and rhymage. HAHAHA! I crack myself up! :)
I really liked this, and I didn't see any grammatical errors. When I write poetry I pretty much never use commas or anything so it looked different to me, but it was fine. The only thing I saw that was kind of iffy was the in the last verse. It seemed like you were trying to force a rhyme. Remember, poetry doesn't have to rhyme, and sometimes it flows better without it.
God bless,
Tatiana
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