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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/yertle
Review Requests: OFF
29 Public Reviews Given
29 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Together  Open in new Window.
Review by vermillion Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
I found this searching c.swift - I miss her :<

a nice bit of writing. With a galloping rhythm that is stretched out by the ending into the "long sweet night".

nice job

Vermillion
2
2
Review of Shine Down  Open in new Window.
Review by vermillion Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is very good. Flows fantastically.
3
3
Review of Meditation  Open in new Window.
Review by vermillion Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
I truly enjoyed this piece on every read through. I especially like the form.
I know this isn't a helpful review but it serves to help me remember it and its always nice to know you've touched someone..

Please keep writing!
4
4
Review of the rain  Open in new Window.
Review by vermillion Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Your spelling and grammar are atrocious. The sentences lack structure and the whole story is a single paragraph. I didn't want to rate it on a scale of 1 to 5 because I can't adequately judge it in its current form, but I was forced to.

On the upside, the story itself is heartfelt, the imagery was lovely and I like how you used the Greek gods.

Please take some time and properly format this story, work out your grammar and spelling mistakes, normally I would name then but there are too many.
5
5
Review of Granted  Open in new Window.
Review by vermillion Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This one stands out in my eyes. I really like it.
6
6
Review of Garden Song  Open in new Window.
Review by vermillion Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
This poem brings to my mind the swirling colours of a miasma,
together with the song and dance of all living things.
Good write.
7
7
Review of THE GIRL....  Open in new Window.
Review by vermillion Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.5)
I like a lot of the words you were using go nicely together, and you manage to write without depending on rhyming, which is cool.
I don't like how the poetry doesn't flow too well line to line. I like the overall structure but again, the words don't flow, which makes it a struggle to read sometimes.
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