Patricia, I would includethis story in your book if you want to show the world a "normal" item, I am hoping not bad or dark. It is upbeat. And since dog and cats are a part of your life maybe you would want to include it.
It takes 30 minutes longer to get home and I will burn more gas. Mary did not try on her graduation gown until last night, it did not fit. I went to Balflours at lunch and got a larger one.
There is a lot of places to eat on this side of town. I ate a jake's Phillym Steak Sandwich and thought I was in Philly.
Moving and unloading boxes is causing back pain. I can maybe go to bed early.
We will be off on Monday for Memorial Day. I have two different kinds to deer sausage to BBQ and some ribeye steaks. We have a wedding in Salado this weekend and Mary's graudation on Thrusday then a wedding on June 9 in La Grange.
Do you remember my friend ED Vlha, he help me move you to the apartment on 18th St. when you went to teach at HISD Hogg MS. He got tired of working and quit, but he is going tio get $250,000 for his stock options in a year or so.
Patrice,"Match Stick", I really do not know exactly what you are trying to say in this poem. How do you "cease with my own destructive determination?" It is different, it is interesting.
How is the book coming, I am guessing what you want to do has changed. Did you move the publish date back because you do not feel you have come far enough, or is there some other reason.
I started reading Marcia Purse website on Bi-Polar Disorder. She explains the drugs cusing weight gain. I had read several articles on auditory hulicinations. I was not aware of this, before reading of you hearing the men talking outside your window. they said that somepeople ever smell things that are not there. I did not realize that was possible. I read about manic sex binges. I read about Bi-polar I and Bi-polar II. I know the difference has to do with the cycling. But I do not totally understand the differencd, but I started reading on this topic. Trying to understand what you have and are going through.
Patrice, Well I could say this is how my house is. Not much cleaning gets done, a major problem. Even when someone is off for the summer not much cleaning gets done. It is snappy, it is cutre, I do not know if it should be included in your book, maybe.
I almost have everything packed, just waiting for Tuesday.
Patricia, "Bridges", What a novel way to look at a relationship. I had never thougft of using "bridge" that way. Wow. Sorry I am a little depresed reading on Bi-polar subjets. I know it is your life, but I want too read some other topics. Are you going to finish Ghetto Ghandi? That was a interesting story. Tomorrow is the Water Polo Banquet at La Porte pavillion on the bay. Mary wantsto give the coach and the 'Bitches" hell, but I do not think she should do that. She knew how they treater here long before now.
Mary has taled about Longhorn Marching Band and the UT Woman's Water Polp Team, (club) they are 11 in the nation this year. We will see, MAry will have to keep a 3.25 gpa to keep her Scholarship.
Tuesday is the final band band concert, we will go, I will take my mother is she wants to go.
Patricia, What is Forever John's song? I sang to my daughter in the hospital and when I took care of her the two years Martha coached vollyball. Mary Joyce learned how to take the batteries out of the TV remote. I was asked why do you let her do that, I replied because it keeps her quite and it helps with her manual dexterity.
The water polo teams did not do very well in Austin. In triple over time they lost to South Lake Carrol, primarily because of a bad female offical. We paid the $50.00 to protest but the head offical said it was a judgement call so it stood. The fire went out of the team. Mary was not able to rally them for very long.
We lost power Saturday nite/Sunday morning. I "shined" by having spare flashlights. I took one up to Mary's room.
We got to Houston before 11:00 but lunch and shoe shopping kept us from getting home until 3:00.
I will keep You, John and you mom in my prayers.
Mary's prom is this Ftriday. She has been selected to be part of the Queen's court. She is not happy about that I do not know why. We could go, but we will not she would be so embrassed.
Patrice, Oh My God! You have suprised me again. In 2007 you had your hair cut off, wow. I wear my short but I did not know that. I did not know you did that. My brother Mike heard that is you have your head shaved and you have curley hair it will grow back straingt. Wrong. I went to barber school in in the late 60's, Iworked one summer as a barber. I shaved his head, he wore a hat, even to sleep in for 3 months, until school school started. I thin it was curlier than before.
We go to State Water Polo Finals in Austin Thursday, We will be back Sunday evening.
Remember to keep working/reviewing your book, you do no0t have many days left.
I am keeping you and Big Bad John, and your mon in my prayers.
"The Dreram" was a interesting and very descriptive short story. I enjoyall the details of Wyoming farm life. The cold creek near by, the chores that everyone had to do. It is great. I sort of saw the climax coming, but overall the story was very good. I enjoyed it emmisely. Thanks for writing.
Patricia, I just read "Insomnia and Nightmares" I am sorry you are not able to be doing the job you love. I know students are bad from see in assults on teachers all the time. My worser half has beem teaching for 30 years. I am tempted to kill her every May. I thank your heart does not understand why you are stll unable to teach.
God, you cannot not sleep or if you can you have nightmares. Is this once a week, every night does the seasons affect this cycle? It is informative and very interesting, but it is hard to imiagine all that bi-polar people have to live with.
Patricia, "Depression: Some Symptoms" This is powerful and still good information. Being that depressed sounds like the pit of hell. Hopefully there are not too many of thoe days. Does "Herb" help mellow you out when you get depressed? I guess it is a good thing your baby wakes you up to get fed, she sounds like a very smart girl.
I have two shops tonight or tomorrow. Last week I had one that got scary because of all the black dudes hanging out at the service station.
Patricia, I just reviewed <mycathatesyou> Your cat did hate me many years ago. I guess she did not want to share you with me. She hissed everytime you left the room. So yeah, mycathatesyou, told a true tale as far a I am concerned.
I am going to watch water polo at 2:00 pm. in Pearland. I just bought Ringo Starr tickens in Orange Beach Alabama. July 4th, it is Mary Joyce's graduation present.
Patricia, "Ballistic When Diagnosssed as Bi-Polar", Is another chapter of the story of how you became you. Some of the info seems redundant, but since you pass over the vet tech part quickly it is not much of a big deal. I did not know there is a bi-polar support group. I guess it did not help much. In some ways you are such a private person and yet you want to tell yuour story so other bi-polar people can understand the condition.
I think how you organize the book will be important as to how it flows and how people will understand it.
I hope this helps.
I am going to try to opurchase tickets to see Ringo Starr in Ocean City, Alabama for the Forth of July. Mary is dying to go, maybe this will be her graduation present.
Patricia, I just finished "Birth of a Revelation" the part about wanting children i knew, from our time togather. I lots of psy docs seem to be real prima donnas. It musthave been scary to find out that you are bi-polar. It seems that different aspects of that have to be difficult to deal with. Especially not being sure how you can cope withit and now you mon is not any help.
Studying this type of Medecine does appeal to Mary Joyce, a well as being physchologist. But offically she will tach and write.
I just got a call from the City of Houston Fire Marshal. His mom had surgery and he was away from his office for almost two weeks.
My back is hurting, I did a Hot Dog food mystery shop -James Coney Island during lunch, I have to write it up tonight after supper.
Patricia, "Waves of Moods" I think you nailed it if you are trying to get me the reader to understand how you react when certain things get to you. You did an excellent job of going into detail both at the vet office and the grocery store.
Again this is more and more of what you have to put up with on the long road of your life. Have you flown airlines with all the new restrictions? Like 4 ounces of liquids? I drives me crazy but I just shut up and smile so I can get to where I am going.
Patricia, I know I could never tell the whole world every damn thing I ever did, but then again I am not you. It is a very interesting life. I think it would be a hell of a good movie. But I will never tell everything. Some things are not every ones bussiness.
Hope you are on track with your book, it seems to be coming along. I keep getting more insight into your life. I did not know you went to Catholic School. I went for 7 years.
Have a Happy and Blessed Easter. Eat some chocolate eggs it will make you smile.
I guess I will hav to see if I can sneak into HISD main building today to test their security. I do not think they will catch me. A water polo game tonight. I am trying to get Mary Joyce to apply for the Purple Monkey Water Polo College Scholarship. A water polo student coach was kill in a car wreck, his fateher established a scholarship in his honor. Lenny Garcia won a big purple monkey at a carnival the week before he was killed. I hope she applies. She has the best grades on her team.
Hi Patricia, I just read "Bipolar Folder of Facts" I assume you are speaking atleast partially from experience. I was not aware that having a neverous breakdown waswthe same as a bi-polar episode. I keep learning things from you.
Water polo -the girls won 2 and lost two, 3 of the 4 were by a single point. And Clear Lake, beat them by 1 point. Clear Lake may be the best team in the state so it might be possible to beat them at some point. Mary tipped a ball that lead to the Rangers getting the ball back. She also got elbowed in the eye. She though she migh get a black eye. She is ok.
We ate lunch with my mother on the boardwalk in Kemah. I do not think very much was in Kehma when you lived here. Now it is a touirist trap, lost of restraunts, a carnival, roller coaster and other rides, bars, live bands on the weekends. We ate a Joe Crab Shack and Mary found a necklace to wear with her prom dress.
Patricia, The more I read about you life the harder it seems to be you. I really do not know what to say. It must be hard changing docs. Dr. Shrimp seemed like an asshole. I hope the new doc is working out.
I will keep you and you mom in my prayers.
I expect to spend a quiet weekend mowing the grass and washing clothes. Mary is gone until Sunday.
This is great information and i think this would be a great movie or TV mini-series about the things you have to deal with.
My Dearest Patricia, I am truly sorry for the way your mother is treating you. I spent several hours with my mother and I gave my mother hell for ignoring Mary Joyce, right now Iam on the bed with little Daisy under me, it is hard to type, I am going to a safety conference in Galveston this morning and tomorrow.
We went to a hockey game Tuesday, I took Mary clothes shopping, fun but expensive. We went to 3 different Half-Price book stores. I mowed the grass Saturday. Then I took my mother to a Polish wedding in the Woodlands, one of my first cousins' son, who went to the University of Nebraska married a girl from that state. I saw many of my aunts and uncles. I drank one green beer. I saw most of the girls wearing really shlort dresses, even the larger ones.
I read, thought of you, prayed for you and your mother, I took two dog naps, It was an ok spring break.
This Episode Has Begun is not as dramatic as "Sap" or "My Personal River" it is interesting but it is not scary, not shocking. Maybe that is agood thing to describe a slightly diffent prespective..
Patricia, "My Personal River" is heartfelt. But it is still a bit disturbing, and no, no one else can feel what you feel, unless they are bi-polar. I guess some people treat you different when they find out. When you found out you must have been very upset. But did it answer the questions you had in the back of your mind?
WOW what a poem, I sort of reminds me of Mary Joyce's people being knives because their words cut like knives. Very powerful.
I will aswait for more, as the story continure. I better get back to work.
Patricia, "Manic Sap Rising" now I figure out what that means. OMG! This story is scary, but my black sheep brother has a similar one with 20 black dudes running to my dad car after they broke into and disabled Mike'scar in Barrett Station around 1:00 am, about 10 years ago, I think Mike was looking for crack cocaine. My dad was almost caught by this group he was very upset. I told him to never go to Barrett Station(the bad black community) after dark with me, and I would be armed! Luckily it never happened again.
A lot of self destructive behabvior. You told me about using speed for a while, I did not know about heroin.
Well I expectd a "gun hater" story, but I was wrong. You certainly cannot judge a story by its tidle. It is very short but it does get the job done. a very good read. Since it was not what I expected I do no0t know what to say. It was interestin g it is fun. Good job.
Dear Patrice, You have me beat to hell on pain pills. I take vicadin, at night only 28 out of 30 days. I take lyrica for leg nerve pain, synthroid, blood pressure, motion sickness, prostrate/blatter medicine and melotolin to help me sleep. With the vicadin I rarely have trouble sleeping. Do you have back pain every day? Have the doctors suggested surgery? Just wondering? Surgery help one half of my beck lessen the pain, I probably need surgery on the left side.
I take a non-narcitic-Proxycam each morning at 4:40 am and wait 10 minutes for it to begin to work. I take the two dogs out around 4:50am. I cook breakfast for Mary Joyce and Martha. I fix lunch, either Progrosso soup or sandwiches. Mary will not eat cold meat as in lunch meat. She eats peanut butter and jelly. Some mornings I was a load of clothes. The females leave at 5:15am, Mary has to be in the pool by 5:45am. then sometimes I lay back down, and get a 2 dog nap for 45 minutes, getting up at 6:40, shave, brush my teeth and get dressed. I may leave by 7:00 or no later than 7:20.
Having back that rerely gets better has made me depressed. But since it lessens sometimes so does the depression. I drink coffee at work, usually a large cup around 8:00 am and no more until the next day. Not on week ends unless I am taking Mary to Baytown for a Band trip or she is getting ready to play water polo. Sometimes she wants cappachino fromValero or McDonalds. sometimes it causdes acid reflux in both of us.
Since I read so much as to what goes on in your life I thought I would explain what goes on in mine. These are typical days, and since I get no help from either female in the house I am not a happy camper. If Im point out the lack of help I recieve I am told I am bitching. I reply if I do the work, I have the right to bitch! No one agrees with me.
I have to go to asbestos training tomorrow, I will be in the office after lunch. Next week is spring break, and March 19 and 20, we will go to the Texas Safety Conference in Galveston. So if I don't send an e-mail for a while I will send one when I can.
I will be thinking of you and saying prayers for your Mom.
Patrice, I finally figured on how to access "Bi-polar Hints in My Early Twenties"
Actually it is pretty much a complication of many of your earlier works. I know you strongly loved your Daddy and I know you always will. I knew about the Gay John, I knew some guy left you for bigger boobs. His loss. I think the attempted to take your life is a part of you, you were lucky you had friends who helped you through it.
Sometimes I think Writing.Com is a magical site. I will open a file of yours and come back a few hours later and I cannot get in.
You are obviously stronger than I ever thought you were.
Taylor Swift says "life make love hard" or so it seems. I am not sure the whole song is necessary for the loss of your daddy. I do know how you feel. You made tears come to my eyes. I thought you wore glasses at UH.
I do not know how many people will want to read about the life of a bi-polar beautiful, I certainly do. It would be a hell of a movie as well.
Maybe I do not know how to describle all the different things I am feeling after reading your life story. I know you are independent but I want to stand beside you as youm go foward in this life.
Patricia, The poem "The Message in My Bottle"sounds like what Im heard before from you. Sometimes you cannot be bothered. I certainly understand you live an unusual life with unusual hours sometimes. It was cute it was catchy, but it was also to the point. It was certainly something to think about. I assume an unwanted guest is going to be treated like an unwanted guest.
I like the rhying and meter. It is very interesting but it says a lot.
Patricia, I am confused after reading "Love Rain on Me" it sounds like a break up. "Feel my fears up through the years" Everyone is afraid of being hurt. That makes us human. Big time drama at the swimming pool in Las Vegas? "I'm FREE, But not as in having no worth" certainly you have worth, you mean the world to me. I guess we both have a few scars on our hearts. Maybe that what life is about.
Sometimes I am not sure what to say to you since I am not speaking to you face to face. My Mohollan Drive song analogy was the way I felt after we broke up 27 years ago. I felt addicted and lost.
Valentine Day is near. If I send flowers I am worried the delivery guy will wake you up or otherwise disturb you. Plese let me know which you prefer. Something in the mail or flowers.
I am a bit worried I have not heard from you in a few days. Are the new meds helping? Does it take a few days for your body to adjust to them? Sorry I just need to know so I will know what to expect.
It is cloudy amd wet and it is suppose to be the same tomorrow. Traffic sucks, but I know it sucks in Dallas as well. But since you do not have to drive far, you are lucky in that reguard.
I am missing you and sometimes you interrupt my sleep, but that is ok. I pray for you every day.
So far we are still going to Austin Sunday night and Mary is to speak to English and History Profs. I guess we will see what she decides after this trip.
I think New Orleans is eight hours from Dallas and five hours from Houston. Just letting you know. It is still a long time away but time flys when you are having fun. And most of the time I love my job helping schools working with the Fire Marshal but it is rerely dull, besides I want to write a book about it some day.
Thinking of you
Harold
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