Hi there! :) Thank you for sharing your poetry! It was very emotional. I liked the general sentiment of the piece. The beginning was a little confusing and didn't seem to fit in with the rest of the poem (personal opinion). Maybe you could somehow tie it in better by explaining who the people are that are doubting his plans and, maybe, what those plans are. How do they pertain to this relationship that he starts with this woman? His carving his name into a bedpost comes across as a little . . . forgive me if it wasn't intended this way . . . stalker-like. Does he have an unhealthy obsession with this girl? It comes across almost sinister. Like, a one night stand that he fixated on. It certainly doesn't *end* that way. You get your point across that this was a mutual, loving relationship . . . but, the way it starts is a little off-putting.
Grammatically, you need an apostrophe in "girls" on the fifth line and in the 17th line, you switch from present tense to past tense. You want the entire piece to be in past tense.
Overall, I enjoyed the poem, though I think it could be even better with some minor adjustments! Thank you for sharing and keep on writing!! :D
Like I told Jezri, I am losing today!! LOL And I'm happy about that because these stories are just excellent. :D I love the tense, slow burn of this piece coupled with the gory ending! I'm not usually a fan (or a writer, for that matter) of werewolves, but this - this was golden. Fantastic work!! :D It would be hard work, being a Slice judge, today! Whatever the outcome, this story was boss. Loved. :D
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