Nice one. Imagery is one of your strong points. I would add some more detail. It feels like a scene, complete but still a mystery. The ending is nice too. It feels a bit pessimestic though. Wouldnt it be encouraging to see her feel stronger by acquiring the spirit of "living life to its fullest" of her dead beloved?
Write on!
Restless Soul
I love the vocabulary. And I enjoyed your scenery. The contrasts were beautiful and vivid. Now I understand the power of colors. The ending is so true.
Write on.
Restless Soul
Very Good! The poem is near perfect in rhyme and logic. Keep writing. I loved the political powers and publishing based on that idea. Poems that cut like a knife: neat line! "cakewalk": funny:) Did the mayor publish based on his talent?
Amusing
Restless Soul
I liked this one the best:
As the sun's rays danced
Offering a delightful show
and ofcourse the last sentence was beautiful too.
Vivid.
Write on!
Restless Soul
Wonderful twist. Extreme rivalry for sure but the best man did win! I like the dialogues and the character descriptions. Shocking in the end. Good work!
Write on
Restless Soul
Good one. I liked the twist. I could never have guessed. I thought Diane was the vulnerable one! Do check for some typos like Dlane and tradiition.
Write on!
Restless Soul
Hilarious!!
So good. I did not expect Bob to be the doctor. Poor Cedric! I like your dialogues too, they tell the most of the story.
Keep it coming friend!
Restless Soul
Seems like you are intimidated by racism in your personal vicinity. You have expressed it well. i wish you would believe that you are special. May writing will help reveal that:)
Write on friend
Restless Soul
I liked it. You had me hooked right ot the end. I think I could predict the reason behind the smell, but you revealed the surprise well. Good job!
Restless Soul
Simply put and smooth flowing. I liked it all. The warmth of birthday joys in a family. Excellent use of the prompt too. Burning both ends of our candle (smiles)
Write on
Restless soul
What I liked most about this piece was the economic use of words in place of many. You have expressed several lines of prose in just one line. Thats is an art itself. Words like brandishing a mediocre philosophy and lazy and faint-hearted optimism, are deep and makes me think of several examples in political history. I also like the idea that you think we should pusue our challenges with a passion, or by working hard, not just through might or will. We should actively work towards our goals. You also talk about world peace by stating the current affairs...human casualties and graceless forebearance. Very nicely put.
Your poem is encouraging the human race to work towards humanity. Write on!
Zubia
You really got me. This was aperfect tale and feel this was real. Good job. I have a four and a half year old son. I am off to hug and kiss him:)
Write on
Zubia
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