Hello there!
I loved reading this, you use some really powerful words and I could easily drift into the picture you painted here.
I liked the way you use metaphors and a bit of old fashioned wording.
The only thing I can think of to improve would be add more space in the text to give it an easier flow. It sort of just looks like a brick the way it is now and it doesn't look as good as it is.
Thank you for sharing, I over all greatly enjoyed it!
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