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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/zoysia
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5 Public Reviews Given
206 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by W.D. Baker Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Loved it.. Loved it... Loved it. I really enjoy reading this style of poem
Just one idea. Since this a story about your past ghosts who make you feel that your soul is damned. <like a true ghost spirit>
maybe you could use the word "damned", instead of " bring me down",
say " is for the damned". The whole line sounds better <at least to my ears>

But your grip on regret is for the damned.
almost like the grip of the grim reaper maybe
just a thought.
Happy Halloween


I would love to read Christmas poem written like this.
2
2
Review by W.D. Baker Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
A very wise old tale you have spun. Leaving the imagination to none. For as far as my minds eye did see. You now have led me down a powerful scene
THIS was a great story.... This type of writing is very hard to do. The ending was smart and sassy.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
3
3
Review of Tears  Open in new Window.
Review by W.D. Baker Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Why do people always have fears about tears?
you have learned a lot in your young years
but remember to always try to rhyme
and go with flow of the words sometime
otherwise, I think you are doing just fine.
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