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Rated: E · Monologue · Personal · #1003011
Meeting the expectations of others is a heavy burden for the soul.
Far beyond the horizon, there is a town filled with humble beings. It began as a small hamlet, and over time the population has grown and now contains many different families. They are all very good people that respect each other. Their only whim is to live their lives righteously. One day, as a community effort, they started building a dam to hold back the flow of the rushing river. Brick by brick, layer upon layer they laid the foundation. All of the townsfolk took it upon themselves to mould the structure to their own designs, and so each added their own essence to the dam. They used all manner of skill to forge it, and used every type of masonry to make it steadfast. The larger the dam grew the more water it was able to hold back. When construction on the dam was completed, it was a work of which all participants were proud. The dam was their's to boast, so they showed it to all the other people in the land. The town was congratulated for their endeavors. Everybody believed it perfect. They marveled at what they saw; its strength, its ability to withstand all kinds of destructive forces, and its ability to restrict so much water from getting through.

As a result, they trusted in their dam with complete faith. Unfortunately, although they could not see it, the dam was slowly deteriorating from the inside. The tiniest of cracks that the town had left unchecked were quickly widening, and lengthening due to the forces they believed it to be withstanding. Of course, the heavy burden of water that the dam was holding back only helped to further accelerate the process, bringing the dam closer and closer to its breaking point as the town will eventually find out. Yet, the dam will not make a sound, neither creak nor make a rumble. There shall be no warning. One day, this mighty dam may burst, but not today.

It may not even happen for a while. But when the dam releases the tremendous amount of water, the town and its residents will lose what they have worked on with all of their might for so long. They will be disappointed that the dam did not do what it was meant to do.

I have found while living a comparatively short life, that what I make of my life is due to the efforts of those around me. To say that anything I have accomplished is of my own doing is just false. I was brought up by those around me. They have taught me about the world, and about what means most. They laid a strong foundation for my entire existence, and filled me with righteous principles. I have tried my best to honor their efforts as I have grown up, but I still feel as though it was all for naught. I do not believe I have reached the potential they have set for me.

Unfortunately for me, I find that people's expectations are the hardest to bear. The people around me have a vision of what I should be. They helped build me up, and so they know what I can and cannot do. But, when I don't meet these expectations, I feel that I have let them down. I feel as though I have failed them, that I have misguided them. I feel that I have lead them to believe that I can do anything. That I can be the perfect friend, and can always be there for them. That I will be able to take away the burdens of another. That I can be there every day; that I can meet every deadline with the perfect work. I become engulfed in guilt.

With these thoughts in my mind I fall into a deep despair, like I can do nothing right again. For some strange reason though, I know none of this is true. A paradox of emotions has developed inside of me. I still have the feelings of failure, even though my heart knows that my best is all I can put forth. I know I am this way. I choose to become what others want of me willingly. It makes me unique, an individual, and it gives me hope the my future will be bright.

And even as I believe that I might be about to break down under the strain of the expectations of others, I can only look forward. I will continue to stride each step in life, carrying the heavy pack I wish to bear on my shoulders, making an honest effort to shed my fears of failure. There are too many things going on in life to pout about. The dam may break, but the world keeps turning.

© Copyright 2005 che Mateo (mariostar645 at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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