Near Fear

I don't know what to do
I'm completely lost without you
I need you by my side
Without you, it's like I'm not alive

People keep saying they're sorry for my loss
They say it's awful our love had to pay the cost
They're calling you a hero, because you saved my life
When you dodged in front of that ugly thug with a knife

Why'd you have to leave me like that?
Sitting there, holding you body as I sat
My mouth wide open, too shocked to cry
This wasn't happening. You couldn't die!

Our love was too strong to overcome
Looking back now, I realize I was dumb
I took you and us for granted and now you're not here
So I'm living with loss and fear

Why did we have to take that stupid walk
Just because I wanted us to talk
If only I had turned left instead of right
Then everything would be just fine

But it's not, and you are gone
And I fear that before long
I might disappear, too
Because I'm nothing without you

Without your warm smile to greet me
Or you whispering in my ear sweetly
I'm scared I might disappear
Without you to love me here

Now the sun continues to shine
Though I don't know how or why
Today is not a good day
For the sun to try to tease me this way

I want to be sad and mourn your death
Because I loved you and I'll never get over it
But I swear I hear your voice
Calling me outside to enjoy

I can hear your laughter in the wind
Chuckle over and over again
Inviting me to taste the outdoors
But reminding me that I'm forever yours


Dedicated to Lauren, in memory of Anthony.