Maybe

Maybe it’s my fault
But then, I know it’s not.
It’s not my fault you went alone
And left me here to rot.
Maybe I should have partied more
Or hung out with your friends
‘Cuz maybe if I had,
I’d put down this awful pen

But instead I’ll sit here writing
A note you’ll never read
About the time you weren’t there
The time I was in need.
And I bet that if you read it
You’d say “I’m sorry babe.
I should have been with you
Instead of out with Dave”

But since you’re not, I’ll write
The note you’ll never see
‘Cuz maybe if you did
You’d know what you do to me

You say “I’ll see you Friday”
And then you’re with your friends
While I’m stuck sitting here
Contemplating an end.
I love you and I miss you
But I hate you and I dread it
The day I’ll have to see you
And pretend to just forget it

‘Cuz if I ever told you
The way you made me feel
You’d call yourself a piece of shit
And not know how to deal
That’s not something that I want
But neither is this note
So I’ll crumple it and toss it away
And forget just what I wrote
‘Cuz you could never deal with it
The way I feel I must
I guess I will be brave babe
And won’t betray your trust

But what if I had let you down?
Would you be calm about it?
Or would you say I’m cheating?
‘Cuz Babe, I just don’t doubt it.

My note is going to end now
And it’s going in the trash
I hope you find it one day
And understand perhaps.
Until then it will lie
In a barrel full of thoughts
Awaiting the day you read it
And know that you let me rot.