The Sheltering Sky

Sergeant May knew that Williams would be looking for him to say goodbye. It was after 7pm. The sky was pitch black and the moon was a white disk just hanging there in the sky. Williams was another soldier in May's batallion. They had spent the past six months suffering the desert's heat and watching American soldiers get blown up. Those in May's battalion had been lucky. None of them had died yet. And May sincerely thanked God for that because he saw what happened to soldiers when their vehicle had been hit by a rocket grenade. His thoughts went back to Jimmy and his chest tightened. That was Williams'first name.

A soldier would never say it out loud but May would finally admit it to himself. Him and Williams were close. Close friends. Who else did they have? He was from New York. An entertainment lawyer's son who volunteered when he didn't have to. Williams came from Atlanta. From a black family.

"Who would have thought?", May said out loud to himself. A fucking Jew and a fucking southern black.


Williams had arrived about three months before May and he just found out yesterday that he was going home. He was going back home to his mother and father and brother and his girlfriend, Cassandra. Jimmy must have told him everything about his life back home. About the house his family had always lived in. About how his mother and father always had to work two shifts a day. About how much he missed Cassandra. He was a big man but he was scared. Scared of getting killed of course. But also scared of being away from home and he wore it on his sleeve. May recognized the look the first time he saw him. He felt sorry for him. Everyone was scared though. May knew he would be lying if he said he wasn't. Coming to a place where the people hated you. You would never admit it but it wounded you. It made you want to go back home. Forget this place! So maybe they needed each other to talk to. To work things out in your head when you were trying to figure out what the hell you were doing here in the middle of the desert with nothing and no one.

May looked at his watch. Williams would be on a transport with his gear in less than ninety minutes. He wondered were Williams was. He suddenly became scared that Williams would leave without saying anything. He lit another cigarette. He started to walk but with no where to go in the compound. The whole place was lit up like a damn Christmas tree. He drew hard and felt the smoke fill his lungs. He exhaled. He did it again. May wondered if Williams felt just a little sad.

May recognized the sound of Williams' footsteps in the sand. He didn't want to turn around so quickly but he had lost some control by then. He looked into Williams' eyes but only for a second because he was embarrassed. He compensated by not let himself say anything. He said nothing, looking at the sand, taking puffs of his cigarette. Williams spoke first.

"I have to go soon. They're going to be taking off in a little while." He looked at his watch.

May stared at the sand. He could see that Williams was hurting too. But May wasn't going to make it any easier for Williams. Damn him.

"You got another cigarette?", Williams asked.

"Sure." He he shook one out of the pack and handed it to Williams. He noticed the black man's large hands shaking. May suddenly no longer felt angry. "Did you get all your stuff packed ok?", he offered.

"Yeah. There wasn't much. Like how much do you really need in fucking Iraq?" They both laughed because the answer was you needed either everything or nothing in the wasteland they had been living in. It was suddenly quiet again. May could no longer look at Williams. He changed his gaze to the darkness.

"Look Sergeant, I have to go. But..."
"It's ok. I know."
"No, Sergeant, let me say this." And suddenly Williams was lost for words.

But he started again forcing whatever words came to him. "Sir, I want you to know it was an honor to serve with you. I am deeply indebted for everything you have done for me. Thank you, sir."

May continued to look into the darkness as if he was alone.

"Goodbye, sir", Williams said finally. But before turning towards the transport, he reached out and softly brushed May on his cheek.

May stared out into darkness. His cigarette extinguished itself long ago. The moon hung like a white disk in the black sky.