Roof jumping

Even since we had started renting our own place, Ali and I had started throwing more and more parties. By midwinter our parties had grown quite large, but we always kept them under control.
On my 21st birthday, we threw a party, and we started doing shots, something I usually refr4ained from because it got me drunk really quickly. As I had expected, I got drunk really quick, and soon Ali and I were outside in the snow. We had put on coats, and along with a few other people were romping and rolling in the snow.
I stumbled across the ladder that led to the roof of the garage. "Hey Ali, look what I found," I yelled.
She jumped over to me, and immediately climbed the ladder. I followed her up, along with a few other guests, I sat down on the snow, "Let's just sit and watch the stars." I suggested resting my head of mahogany hair on my hands.
Ali didn't even comprehend my idea, "Let's jump into the snow, there's gotta be at least three feet down there. It'll be fun, c'mon Mia."
I smiled as I sat up, "You first."
SO she jumped and I watched as she landed, popping right back up. I breathed a sigh of relief that she wasn't dead.
"C'mon Mia, its your turn."
I stood there, thinking how I’d already had bad knees, and that jumping was probably not a good idea, but I leapt anyway. As my feet touched the ground a screaming pain flew up my leg. I collapsed on the ground and tears rushed to my eyes.
"OH baby, oh baby," Ali dropped to her knees next to “Just breathe honey, deep breathes”, and me
I looked at her, and tried to take a few deep breaths.
"C'mon baby, let's get you inside," she took my hand and I stood up, not yet placing any weight on my bad leg.
I picked up the bad one and set it on the ground, my kneecap popped out of place, and I dropped back to the frozen ground. "That is so night right. Oh Fuck!"
"Deep breaths honey, I’ll be right back."
Other partygoers were stunned, the ones who had joined us on the roof originally didn't jump, they climbed down the ladder. Ali returned with Brent, a guy who I’d been introduced to right before I had started drinking. he quickly put his arm under me and lifted me up. he was very careful about not gripping my bad knee.
He carried me through the house and set me down on my own bed. Ali came in behind him holding a bag of ice. He let me go and grabbed a couple pillows, placing them gently under my knee. Ali placed the ice on top and I laid my back down, closing my eyes.
"I'm going to stay with you all night Mia, you don’t need to be alone right now."
I opened my eyes, "Ali, you go out there and mingle, meet the people, chill with your friends, I’ll be fine."
Ali touched my hand, "Are you sure?"
I nodded and watched as Ali and Brent left the room. I was left alone, my knee was killing me, and I shook my head ashamed of what I’d done.
I heard the door open, and I popped my eyes wide. It was Brent, he came over and sat on the floor. he didn't say anything at first, just sort of sat there.
"can I help you?" I said.
He didn't move at all, "I'm here to keep you company."
I laughed, "Well, you're doing a great job of that, I’m very well entertained right now."
Brent turned around on his knees, "Do you need anything?"
"Well, I could use a dry pair of pants, and after that you could go get me a drink."
Brent smiled, "Wow, you're a demanding one."
I nodded as he stood up and went to the closet, opening it up and finding two bunny cages. I laughed, other closet, but don't shut that one all the way."
Brent looked at me with a questioning eye, but did as he was told. He pulled me out my favorite pair of fleece starry pants
"Do you need me to help you get into these?" he asked handing me the pants.
"I don’t think so, you go get drinks and I’ll change, if I need your help I’ll let you help me when you get back." I picked up my bad leg and slowly swung it off the bed.
Brent left the room and I unbuckled my belt. I stood up on my good leg and let the wet jeans fall from my waist. I sat back on the bed, leaving my jeans on the ground. I leaned over trying to put the pants on, but since I couldn't bend my bad knee without excruciating pain, I failed miserably. I just sat there waiting for Brent, who came in with the two drinks and almost dropped them when he saw me sitting there half naked.
"Do you need some help?"
I pouted my lips and nodded.
He set the drinks on the side table and then came and knelt in front of me. he took the pants from my hands and then gently put them on one leg and then the other.
"Okay, stand up," he said. I grabbed his shoulders and stood up on my good leg, he slid his hands along my thighs as he pulled my pants up. when they were fully up he stood in front of me, close to me. he touched my face, his hand rough and scaly.
He leaned in to kiss me, I laughed and said, "how about that drink?"
He pulled away and grabbed the drinks as I sat down. I lifted my bad leg back onto the bed, and propped it up on the pillows. Brent sat down next to me, handing me my drink. I put it to my mouth and started drinking. Brent planed his hand under my cup, causing me to drink almost the entire thing.
He took the cup from my hand and set it on the side table. MY head started screaming at me. Something was wrong with that drink, something was very, very wrong. My vision was blurred and quickly I felt my head floating. I laid back and closed my eyelids, which were beginning to feel like anvils.
I managed to open my eyes, I don’t know how much later, and I felt a sharp pain from between my legs, I saw Brent above me, moving up and down, in accordance with the pain. Brent was breathing heavily and sweating. HE leaned over and pushed his lips to mine.
I realized what was happening, and I tried to lift my arms to push him away, but my arms felt as if they were tied down. I attempted to open my mouth to tell him 'no', but it felt wired shut.
I was forced to close my eyes again, and I couldn't force them back open.
When I woke up the morning and I felt very dizzy. My head felt as if it were in a vice, being squeezed. I sat up forgetting about my leg and feeling the sharp pain shoot up. Ali was sleeping next to me, so I nudged her.
"Ali," I whispered, nothing. I shook her shoulder this time, "Ali."
Her eyes slowly opened, but then shut when the sun hit them. another minute later they opened. "What?"
"I think something happened last night," I turned my eyes on her.
"What do you mean? you jumped off the roof of the garage." she yawned and rubbed the crusts from the corner of her eyes.
"I think I was raped," I said.
Ali's eyes popped open, "What are you talking about?"
I took a deep breath, "I think Brent drugged and raped me last night."
Ali sat up now, "are you sure?"
"well, Brent came in and offered to get me a drink, so I said sure, I changed my pants, or attempted to while he was gone, but he had to help me get into the pants because i couldn't bend my knee. When I took a drink of the cup he had brought in it made me dizzy, and I passed out. I awoke only briefly to see him on top of me, I couldn't move my arms and I couldn’t' speak."
Ali shook her head, "I think you were drunk and now you're regretting it."
My eyes glared, "Are you saying that I allowed this to happen?"
Ali shook her head, "I'm saying you've forgotten having sex before."
"I did not want to have sex last night, I was raped."
"Well, what do you want to do about it?"
"I'm going to report it to the police," I stated bluntly.
Ali jumped, "Why are you going to do that?"
"Because I just can't let Brent get away with drugging and raping people. I stood up off the bed, "you can come if you want."
Ali didn't say anything at first, while I went to the closet and found a coat. "What if you're wrong? what if you ruin his life with a lie?"
"And what about me? what if I’m right? I can’t let him get away." I took a step, my bad leg barely holding me up.
"Mia are you sure?"
"Ali, c'mon, I’m positive. God, it sounds like you’re taking his side."
"I'm not doing that, its just--" she looked at me, "This isn’t' the first time you've claimed this."
"You know, you just stay here," I took another step, biting my lip to fight the urge to scream. I leaned on the wall all the way down the hallway.
After I made it to my car, I sat a moment, waiting to see if Ali would come out after me. after five minutes, she wasn't there, and I left. As I drove I thought about how Ali wasn't the friend I had thought she was. I felt strange as I parked my car, and walked slowly into the police station, my right leg screaming with each step. I walked up to the desk sergeant with my arms over my chest, I felt dirty.
"What can I do for you ma'am?" his monotone voice asked without his gaze rising from his paper.
"I need to report a rape," I whispered, shame lurking in my tones.
"Ma'am, you need to speak up."
"I need to report a rape," I used a regular tone.
The desk sergeant quickly looked up, putting his paper down. "Okay, well you just have a seat and I’ll go get someone to help you."
I fought back the tears and nodded, I turned around and looked at the wall, it was brandished with photos and newspaper articles on great cops.
"Ma'am," a male voice called from behind me.
I turned to see a uniformed officer different from the desk sergeant, this one was younger, with dark hair and eyes the green of frogs.
"My name is Officer Colin Jones. I need you to come with me, we need to get you to the hospital."
I nodded as he placed his coat around my shaking shoulders and walked slowly to the squad car. He opened the door for me and I slowly got in, swinging my bad leg in. He slowly shut the door and then walked to the other side.
"What happened to your knee?"
I was quiet a moment, "I jumped off the roof of my garage last night in my drunken stupor."
"How old are you?" he probably asked instinctively.
"I turned 21 yesterday," I tightened my grip on the coat on my shoulders.
"okay, happy belated birthday," his voice was gentle, not coerced, as we pulled into the parking lot.
"Thanks," was the only word I could muster out of my mouth.
He got out of the car and came to my side. HE took my hand and helped me inside. He sat me down in the chairs and then went to talk to the nurses. A nurse came over and helped me into a nearby room, and had me change into a hospital gown. She then placed a blanket over my knees.
A doctor and the officer came in, both sat in the chairs around me. "Ma'am, I just need to get a little bit of basic background from you."
he took down my name, address, and health history, then he got down to business. "So why do you think you were raped?"
I took a deep breath, "Well last night after I jumped off the roof, injuring my knee, a guy friend of my roommates carried me inside to my room. I was left alone for a while, but then he came back in. he helped me change my pants and then brought me a drink. After taking a few sips of my drink, I knew something was wrong, I thought there were drugs in it. I blacked out; I only regained consciousness once, I saw him on top of me, I couldn't move my arms or speak."
Officer Jones chimed in, "Do you know his name?"
"I only know that his first name was Brent, my roommate might know his full name."
"Okay, what's your house address? I'll send some men over for evidence."
"1723 Hong."
"Okay, I’m going to go there, the doctors going to take care of you, I’ll be back later to tell you what we've got."
I nodded my head as he headed out, there's a look in his eyes that made him different from the other men I had met, including other police officers.
The doctor had me lay down, and he placed my leg in the stirrup, my bad leg he didn't have me bend, but instead just had me place on top of the stirrup. I wanted so badly to shut my legs, I felt ashamed that a male was down there.
He poked and prodded me, stretching me to limits I didn't know I could stretch, I clenched the table and bite my tongue as tears flowed down my face. The exam took about a half an hour, and afterwards I had to sit in the bed as the doctor did the blood tests.
A nurse came in to see how I was doing.
"How long am I going to be here? I asked.
The nurse looked up from reading my blood pressure, "Well, the doctors just finishing up the rape kit, so I’m assuming it should be shortly."
"Was the rape kit positive?"
She looked at me, "I'll get the doctor."
I waited impatiently, and soon the doctor came in saying, "You wanted to talk to me?"
"about the results, yes."
he sat in the chair, "Well, we tested your blood, and found that you had a very high concentration of GHB in it."
"The date rape drug?"
"Yes," he cleared his throat. "The rape kit came back positive for semen and a few pubic hairs, but there was no tearing or anything of that nature."
"Is that a bad thing?"
"It's not bad, just not-"
"Are you saying that because he wasn't rough enough to tear me that he's going to walk free?"
He shook his head, "No, I’m just saying that these cases are never easily won and -"
"Okay, but what about the drugs, isn't there enough to--I need to speak to officer Jones now."
"He'll be back shortly, I just got off the phone with him."
I stopped talking, the doctors understood, he got up and quietly left."
A few minutes later there was a quiet knock at the door, the door opened and the officer popped his head in. "You wanted to speak to me?"
"Yeah, come in."
He sat in the chair closest to me, "So, you spoke to the doctor?"
"Yes, and I wanted to know what you've gotten?"
He cleared his throat, "Well, we found your house, your roommate was still sleeping in your bed. so we had to wake her up and move her out of there. we took samples of the cups of fluids in the room, we also took your blankets off your bed. we'll find out tomorrow if there's anything on them."
"Okay,. and what about the guy?"
"Yes, one Brent Layman, he was found in out database, and my men should be picking him up soon."
I nodded, "So do you think there's enough for a case:?"
"Well, according to your blood test this morning, you're over the legal BAC limit, and along with the high concentration of GHB I’d say that you were in no state of mind to give consent."
I stared straight at the wall, I wasn't sure if anything he was telling me was reassuring.
he scooted his chair forward, "are you okay?"
I looked at him, the gentle eyes gazing at me, "I guess I’m just sop confused about everything right now, my roommate isn't the friend I thought she was, she doesn’t' truly believe me, and I’m now starting to doubt myself."
"Mia, don't do that. Most rape victims start to doubt themselves, because someone else doubts them. but you're strong enough to believe in yourself."
I raised my eyebrow, "How do you know?"
"I don't really, it's just a feeling I have. Maybe it's something in your eyes." he blushed, and looked away.
My face heated as it too blushed.
"I'm sorry, that was very inappropriate of me."
I smiled, "It's okay."
"no, I shouldn't be behaving like this when I’m the lead officer in your case."
"I understand," I spoke, a clenching happening in my chest, I felt something between us, call it chemistry or whatever you want, but it was there.
"I'm going to go check with the nurses to see when you can get out of here," he stood up, releasing my hand.
I sat there after he had left, smiling, wondering if he felt the same way. He came back a moment later, carrying something in his hands, it looked like some clothes and paperwork.
"You're supposed to sign these papers and put this on."
On top of the clothes was a knee brace. "Am I supposed to know how to put this contraption on?" I laughed.
"I think I can help," he picked it up, "Swing your legs over the edge of the bed."
I did, a little unsure about this, he held my brace under my right leg, and gently pulled it over the top. He laced the Velcro through the loop and tightened it. After he was done he grabbed the scrub pants and held them out.
"I way don’t think this is allowed," I smiled.
Colin laughed, "Yeah, I’d probably be frowned upon right now, I just figured out that I’d help you, just so you don't have to sit in here any longer than necessary." he helped me off the bed, and I finished pulling the pants, "I'm sorry you have to wear these."
"you know what? it's not a problem, because I didn't really like those clothes anyway," I remarked. "Um..could you turn around?"
He quickly did, "I'm sorry, I just, I don't know, I guess I’m in a good mood."
I finished putting the shirt on and the gown fell to the floor, "Okay, I’m all set to go."
I signed the papers and we were out of there, at the car he asked if I was hungry, but I had no appetite."
"I hope you aren't going to be mad at me, but I can't allow you to drive home, seeing as you're still above the legal limit."
I nodded, "It's okay, I’ll pick it up later."
"Okay, what are you going to school for?"
"Sociology and English teaching degrees."
"Wow, that's a lot."
I smiled, "Yeah, but the sociology is for teaching the children to view the world in a different way, and the English is for my love of writing."
he smiled, "I do too, what do you write?"
"Short stories, mainly dramas and thrillers, but I write poetry too."
"Me too," he looked at me.
I laughed, "A writing cop, I can only imagine your reports."
"Nah, I can write them without making them long drawn out stories."
We had arrived at my house, "Okay here we are, and I have to leave you now. here's my card," he pulled out a pen. "Here's my cell and email, call me whenever you need me. And here's the card for CASDA, call them if you need mental help."
I smiled, "Thank you." I headed into the house where Ali was waiting for me.
"How did it go?" she asked.
I didn't speak, just limped past her and into my room. I shut my door, and locked it. I turned on the television and opened the closet door. I carefully lowered myself to the ground. I opened the cage on the left, Babe's cage.
It took her a minute, and then she hopped out of the cage. She sniffed me for a minute, then bounced away. I smiled as I watched her, my bunnies and my turtle were my happiness.
I picked up my phone from its charger, and hit the speed dial.
"Hello?" the other voice spoke.
"Rae, it's me Mia."
"I know, I have caller id," she giggled, I was silent. "So, what's up? how was the party?"
I opened my mouth, it quivered a moment, but couldn't get my vocal chords to move.
"Mia," her voice filled with concern. "What's wrong?"
I took a deep breath, "I was raped."
The lifeless silence furthered my feelings of being ashamed. I finally heard her breath, I could imagine her much like myself, lips shivering and unable to find the words.
"I...I...I’m going to come up there. I’ll be there as fast as I can."
"No...I couldn't ask you to do that," I was starting to cry.
I heard her inhale, "You don’t need to be alone right now."
I forced a fake laugh from my gut, "I'm not alone, and I have my bunnies and turtle.
her voice showed no joy, "You need someone there."
I shook my head, I couldn't ask you to leave your job and fiancé to come up here. I mean what are you going to do? I’ve been to the police and the hospital. I’ve been given a card for counselors and a nice police officer."
"Mia, what about friends? did Ali go with you?"
I was silent, Rae knew what that meant.
"I don't understand, why do you put up with her? she's not a good friend, am I right?"
"She doubted me, told me I was dreaming."
"What happened?" I mean you don't have to tell me."
"I jumped off the roof of the garage last night in my drunken stupor, so Ali's friend carried me to my room. I told all of them that they could go back to the party, and I would rest my knee. I was left alone, but then Brent came back into the room, and asked if I needed anything I told him that he could give me a new pair of pants because mine were wet and then go get some drinks. He came backing and had to help me get into my pants because I couldn't bend my ban knee."
I took a deep breath, "I took a drink out of the cup and realized something was wrong with it. I blacked out, but regained consciousness enough to feel and see him on top of me, and then I blacked out again."
The silence that followed was death between Rae and I, a silence I had only ever heard two times before, when my grandmother died, and when I had put my dog to sleep.
"Mia, I should've been there."
I shook my head, "Rae, don't blame yourself, I could've taken Friday off, and come home, but I didn't."
"Mia, have you told your parents?"
I hadn't thought about that, but a chill ran up my spine.
"Are you going to tell them?"
"I...I'm not sure, they'll flip, and move me home."
"Well, maybe that would be better," she seemed eager.
"Maybe," my mind hurt at the thought.
"Do you want me to tell them?"
"No!" I screamed, then regained myself, "I'm sorry I yelled, I’ll tell them when the time is right."
"Okay, just don't wait, you can't pretend it didn't happen."
"I...I...I have to go now, I’ll talk to you later."
"Call me later, just so I know you're okay."
"Okay, bye." I hung up the phone and found Babe hopping towards me. She jumped into my lap and cuddled me. "God I wish I was a bunny." I petted her velvet fur, tears flowing from my eyes. I stopped petting babe, she didn't stir, and I leaned back against my bed. I was tired and my head was hurting. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep.
A bead of sweat dripped onto my cheek from his chin. His breathing was strong, like a horse in a full gallop. He wasn't looking at me, but at some spot on the wall above my head.
My eyes popped open and I jumped. Babe was frightened too, I picked her up and cradled her to my chest as I tried to calm my own breathing. My heart knocked at my chest, trying to break free. I just looked down at Babe, the fear in her eyes. I loved the way my animals were able to read my emotions. I picked up my phone and pulled the cards out of my pants pocket. I dialed the top number.
"Thank you for calling CASDA, this is Jill, how may I help you?"
"I need an appointment to see a counselor."
"Okay," the voice was whimsical, "And when is a good time for you ma'am?"
"Anytime tomorrow before three."
"I have a slot open at noon, does that work for you?"
"Yeah, that would be great."
"Okay, and what is your name ma'am?"
"Mia Sanger."
"Okay Mia, we'll see you tomorrow at noon. Do you have our 24 hour number?"
"Yeah, thanks." I said as Babe jumped off my lap.
"Okay, have a good night."
"Thank you, you too," and I hung up the phone. "See Babe, I can do it on my own."
She popped up her head and looked at me a moment, then hesitantly hopped into her cage. I smiled as I shifted my body so I could close her cage. I then maneuvered my way up to my own feet and looked at my bed. My blanket had been taken, so I went to my dresser and found another blanket, and made my bed. I was seriously thinking about bringing my mattress out back and burning it, but that was something I couldn't afford.
I realized I was going to need my car eventually before tomorrow, and I definitely wasn't going to ask Ali to drive me, so I pulled out the second card and dialed.
"Jones here."
"Officer Jones, this is Mia Sanger, I was wondering if you could pick me up so I can pick up my car?"
"Yeah, no problem, I’ll be at your house in ten minutes."
"Thank you," I muttered.
"Not a problem, I'll see you in a little bit."
"Okay bye." And I hung up the phone. I made sure Babe's cage was locked and I grabbed the small beg from next to Peanut’s cage and opened her cage door. She happily hopped out and came over to my lap.
I let her play for five minutes, and then I gathered her up in my arms. I held her a moment, and then placed her gently into the bag, she gazed up at me with her gray eyes. I smiled and petted her head.
I heard a soft knock on the door, "Who's there?"
"it's Ali, there's a police officer at the door for you." she said through the locked door.
"I'll be right there," I said bracing my arms on the bed and pushed myself up. I wrapped my bag around my arm and walked over to the closet slowly. I put my coat on and made sure my license was in there. I opened my bedroom door and made sure I locked it on my way out. I walked past Ali as she sat in the living room copying something out of a book. She didn't even attempt to speak to me.
I saw Officer Jones standing outside the front door. As I closed it I joked, "I've never had the police show up on my front step."
Officer Jones smiled, "And today I’m your taxi service."
I blushed and we headed down the walkway to the squad car. Officer Jones opened my door and waited as I struggled with my bad knee. As we headed away from my house, we were silent.
"I meant to call you to tell you that we found him at his girlfriends and he's been taken down to the station for questioning and a DNA sample."
I nodded, "Thank you for telling me now."
We arrived at the police station and I pointed out my car.
"I think it would be best if you sit in here while your car warms up."
"Okay," I said reaching to open my door.
"Why don't I go start your car for you, then you don't have to get out."
"Okay," I nodded and I handed him the car keys. I watched as he walked over to my car, and after struggling with the door for a minute he got in and started it.
He came back and got in, "It's cold out here, who would've thought?"
I laughed, "All people who live in Wisconsin and Minnesota."
He laughed too, "Yeah I guess."
We sat there in silence a moment, and I heard a scurrying in the bag, Officer Jones noticed it too.
"Are you hiding your drugs in there?"
I smiled, "No, just one of my babies."
Colin’s eyes widened, he was confused.
I laughed as I opened the bag and pulled out Peanut, "One of my babies."
Colin laughed, "You have rabbits for babies?" he leaned over and touched Peanut.
"Two rabbits and a turtle."
"Those must've been some strange births."
I laughed, "You can't even imagine."
Colin laughed.
After the laughter was done, I said, "Do you think my car's warmed up?"
"Yeah, but do you mind if I ask you one question before you leave?"
"Yeah?" I gritted my teeth.
"Well, I was wondering if you'd ever be willing to go out on a date with me?
I swallowed, "Um...are you serious? is that allowed?"
"Yes, and no. I am serious, and I don’t mean right now, its not appropriate, but sometime down the road, maybe after--" his cell phone rang. "umm...one second, this is Jones."
After a few 'uh-huhs', 'okays' and a single 'thank you', he hung up the phone.
"Well thank you for picking me up and bringing me to my car."
"Yeah, it was no problem."
I opened my door to get out.
"Wait, don't you want to know what the phone call was about?"
I shut the door, "Sure."
"That was my fellow officer, he had been dispatched to go pick up Brent. they had brought him to the station. well like 20 minutes ago his girlfriend burst into the station and started yelling about slander and suing for fraud. What a crazy lady," he shook his head, almost laughing.
I nodded, not laughing, "yeah, well I should get going."
"You call me if you need me, okay?"
I was standing out side the car, so I stuck my head back in and said, "Okay." I hobbled to my car, and carefully got in. After I started driving I started wondering about the woman. I decided that there was nothing to worry about and I thought it would be a good plan to go to my work and borrow some movies to take my mind off of things.
As I parked I looked at myself in the mirror, I couldn't see anything wrong with my face. I took a deep breath and got out, careful not to exert myself.
Becky was the first to see me, "So how was your party last night? sorry I couldn't come."
I hesitantly sorry, "I had some fun, drank too much and acted like a fool."
She laughed, "What did you do?"
"I jumped off the roof of my garage."
"Why?"
I shook my head, "I thought my wings were fully grown."
Her laugh grew softer, "So what are you doing here?"
"I thought I’d come down for some movies so I can lounge in bed until tomorrow when I have to work at 3."
"Do you want me to go get them for you?"
"Thanks for the offer, but I think I can handle it," I headed to the comedy section and quickly found three movies that sounded funny enough.
Becky checked me out and I said my good-byes. I decided to grab some food on my way home, so I got some from the nearby fast food joint and headed home. With two bags and a cup in my grasp I headed up the walkway to my door. IT was locked, which could only mean that Ali was gone.
I dug out my keys from my purse and unlocked the door. There was no sound in the house except the faint hint of running water from the turtle tank in my room. I went into the kitchen and grabbed a bowl, the ketchup, the mayo and pepper, and carried the lot to my room.
I turned on my television on the floor and opened the bunny cages. They had only recently begun to get along, so I kept a close watch on them. In case a fight broke out I would get in there and separate them. I blended the ingredients that I brought to my room together to make my fry sauce.
The bunnies smelled one another, but quickly separated and hopped around happily in solace. My night was quiet, and Ali never came home. I finally went to bed around 1 am.
The pain was excruciating, but I couldn't open my eyes. when I finally could it was only for a very small slit. Water blocked my view and I could only barely see Brent huffing and puffing above me.
I sat up quickly, my breath was sporadic and uneven. I tried to calm myself down, and equal out my heartbeats so I could think.
I looked at my clock, it was 4 am. "C'mon Mia, you're fine, you just need to calm down." I climbed out of bed and unlocked my door, I peaked my head out and saw there was no one in the hallway. I sighed and walked down to the kitchen, I pulled a glass from the cupboard then filled it with water and ice.
It was then that I started hearing the noises from Ali's room. With the glass in hand, I walked toward the door trying to decipher what the sound was. I shook my head in disgust when I realized it was moaning, I took my water and quickly went to my room.
"I cannot believe her, after what just happened last night, and she's skanking herself tonight? Wait, why am I not shocked is a better question?"
I drank my water and fell back asleep. I awoke to my alarm at 10 am, and slowly got out of bed. I grabbed my knee brace and struggle with the pain to get it on. I walked over to my door and opened it, I could hear no more moaning, so I headed down the hallway.
I found her one nightstand on the couch, "Hello," I spoke politely.
He looked at me and nodded. I went into the kitchen and got myself some cereal, as I grabbed the milk out of the fridge I could see Ali sleeping in her room. I carried my bowl with the milk sloshing around back to my room and sat down.
As I ate I could hear the television in the living room. He was watching cartoons, he'd laugh frequently, and I smiled when I could hear the funny moment. After I finished my cereal I walked across the hallway to the bathroom. I started the water in the tub and closed off the drain. I went back to my room and grabbed a towel.
I got back into the bathroom and locked the door. I walked to the tub and sat on the ledge. I took off my shirt and then my pants. I slowly slid off the knee brace and gazed at the tub. I ran my fingers over the small crests that formed from the water falling from the faucet. I then lowered myself into the tub and the steamy water.
I closed my eyes trying to relax, but I saw the other night in my head, and I felt Brent's sweat on me. I could feel his fingers on my skin and the grime they had left behind. I picked up my loofa and poured some soap on it. I started to scrub my arms and chest, my neck and stomach; any place that Brent could’ve touched.
I opened my legs and carefully scrubbed there, it was still sore, and the doctor hadn’t made it feel any better. I wasn’t watching my hand, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I felt disgusted by myself. I soon got up and out of the water. I then wrapped the towel around myself and sat on the toilet. My breathing was hard, so I just held my arms around my stomach and leaned over.
I flet a little nauseous, so I just sat still. “C’mon Mia, you’re okay.” I started to feel better after a few minutes, so I got up and carried my clothes to my room.
I found some black pants and put them on over my knee brace that I had put on. After a battle, I managed to put my socks on. Then found a shirt and a bra.
By now the clock read 11:40, and I realized I had to leave soon to get to my appointment on time. I fed my pets quickly and then headed out.
Ali was up on the lap of her beau, on the couch, and said nothing to me as I left.
The drive to the center was short, and I sat in my car for a moment fixing my make up before I went inside.
The building was cold looking on the outside, just a white building with a small plaque. Once I opened the door I felt so much more welcomed, the room was a teal color with black furniture.
I walked over to the wooden desk, a women with dark hair looked up from paper work and smiled at me, “Hello, how may I help you?”
“I have an appointment at noon.”
“Mia Sanger?” she asked.
I nodded, and clenched my hands together.
“Okay, if you have a seat right over there, we’ll be with you in just a minute.”
“Thank you,” I said and sat on the black couch, and picked up a magazine.
It was five minutes before I was called into a room by a woman about five years older tan me. Her blonde hair was pulled up in a tight ponytail. I followed her into a smaller room, which surprisingly didn’t hold a desk. It had a couch, a TV, and a small table with a desk. There was also a wooden bookshelf with books and movies.
“So Mia, I got a call from Officer Jones, saying you might call, but I didn’t expect you to call so soon,” she said sitting on the couch, ushering me to join her.
“He called you”
“Yes, officers are urged to call us, so we might get in touch with the victims.”
I nodded.
“So, I’m just going to give you a little information about myself and the center, then we’ll get started…my name is Monica Cross, I’m 26, I graduated from the University with a degree in criminal justice with a sociology minor. I was 21 years old when I was raped at a party, and soon after I was recruited to work here.”
I looked at her…I couldn’t picture her as a victim.
“The center here is for women who’ve been victimized either by rape or assault. We have a 24 hour hotline you can call whenever you want, and we always have 2 grief counselors on hand. One to see the scheduled appointments and one to see the walk ins. Okay, I know that’s a lot of information, do you have any questions?”
“Is it always the same counselors seeing appointments or do you rotate?”
“It’s a rotation, but if you feel comfortable with one we can arrange for you to see that one. Everything we do here is to make you feel more comfortable.”
“Okay, and how exactly are these sessions supposed to work?”
“Oh yeah, gosh, that was silly of me. That’s a really good question. Well, we pretty much just sit here for an hour, and you tell me what you want, don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want. But I know I felt a great relief when I finally told someone. But we each feel comfortable at different times. So if we just sit her and chit chat about girl stuff, I’m fine with that. You’ve done the hardest part, telling the police, so now, it’s just up to you to feel really comfortable.”
“Okay, can I ask you a personal question?”
She nodded.
“Did you know your attacker?”
“Yeah, he was my chemistry partner, he got kicked out of school when he pleaded ‘no contest’, there was too much evidence against him. What about you?”
“I had only met him once before, he was friends with my ‘roommates’ old roommate. He had been invited by my roommate to my party. I barely knew anyone there.”
“And I saw you had injured your knee? Do you want to tell me how that happened?”
“Oh, that was in my brilliant moment of drunkenness to jump off the roof of the garage.”
“Wow, that beats my stupidity, I only sprained my wrist.”
“I knew I wasn’t the only one in the world,” I joked, then grew silent. “I took my first bath today after the incident, and I felt I was covered in grime from him. I scrubbed my skin almost raw. I felt so dirty.”
Monica had her eyes on me, “And that’s normal, but you have to realize that you’re safe now. That he’s not going to get you again, ever. The grimey feeling is usually a mental idea that you think it was your fault.”
“I know it’s not my fault, but I can’t help but think that somehow I could’ve prevented it.”
“How so?”
“Well, I had him help me change my pants because mine were soaking wet, and I allowed him to get me the drink that he put drugs in. I just don’t know.”
“You know, I’m letting oyu speak your mind in the hopes that you’ll hear yourself and maybe realize that you shouldn’t try to change the past.”
“I know I can’t, I just will always be haunted by the what-ifs.” I said.
“And that’s normal, but eventually you’ll realize that you’ve been violated and you could’ve done nothing to prevent it.”
A tear came to my eye, he had violated me, “Is it normal to be having flashbacks and dreams?”
“Yes, and it’s always good to have someone to talk to about it, especially if it happens in the middle of the night.”
“What if there’s no one reliable enough to be there?”
“What about your current roommate? Or family or friends?”
“My roommate’s not the true friend that I thought she was, and my best friend and family live three hours away. And she’d probably sleep through my calls.”
“Where did the rape occur? If you don’t mind me asking.”
“On my bed.”
“Oh,” she looked down, “You might find it harder and harder to sleep and stay there, you’ll find yourself driving around or walking around just to stay away from the place.”
“If I had the choice, I’d move out, but it’snot easy for me to do that, I’m limited to where I can live.”
“Why’s that?”
“Well…I don’t have a million dollars and I have pets.”
She smiled, “What kind of pets do you have?”
“Two bunnies and a turtle.”
“You know what, if you’re serious about looking, I know someone who might have a room in their house for rent, in fact it’s a whole floor. I could talk to them for you.”
I hesitantly smiled, “I think that’d be okay…I just don’t want to put you out or make them uncomfortable.”
“I will definitely call them, because I think the best therapy would be to get you out of that house, but still keep you with your pets as a close connection,” she looked at her watch, “And time is up.”
“Okay, thank you,” I stood up.
“You know what, I’m going to give you my card, it has my number here, but also my home number and address, so if you ever need me, day or night you can get a hold of me.”
I took her card and placed it in my purse, and stood up. I jutted out my hand and shook hers. I said my thank yous and good byes and scheduled my next meeting for the following Tuesday, the day before I was going home for Christmas.
I looked at my watch, it was 1:30. I still had at least an hour before I even had to think about going to work, and I definitely didn’t want to go home.
My cell phone rang, but I silenced it, because I didn’t recognize the number, even though it was a local one. Who ever it was had left a message, so I checked my voicemail.
“Hey Mia, it’s Officer Jones, um…well I need to speak to you about a few things, and I think it’d be better in person. So if you could give me a call that would be great.”
I didn’t call him back, I didn’t want to get upset before I went to work, but I did remember that I was running low on Timothy hay for my rabbits. So I decided to run to the nearby pet store for some. I looked at the fish there, seeing their sparkling colors moving through the water. I finally decided I’d looked enough and I headed out to work. It was 2:45 when I finally arrived, so I took my shirt and went to the bathroom to put it on.
When I got back to the front, my boss was there, and I had to explain to him my knee injury. And he told me just to take it easy and stay up front. I got set up at my register and he brought me out a stool incase I couldn’t stand anymore. I started helping customers.
The night went by slowly, I constantly had to walk away from the register and sit on the stool, my knee was not handling weight well, and my other knee was getting sore.
At around 9:30 Joe went out to get the box, and came in with a strange look on his face.
“What’s up Joe?” I asked smiling.
“There’s a note in here,” he pulled out a sheet of paper written on by a permanent marker. He handed me the note and I read it.
“YOU LYING SLUT, TAKE IT BACK, YOU KNOW HE DIDN’T RAPE YOU. TAKE IT BACK OR I’LL TAKE YOU…”
“Um…” I was speechless, “I ‘m going to go do something in the office with this. Will you two be okay out here?” I asked.
The nodded and I grabbed my cell phone and went into the office. I quickly dialed my phone with my trembling hand.
“Jones.” The other voice said.
“Officer Jones, this is Mia Sanger.”
“Oh hi Mia, how are you?”
“Not so good…”I was silent.
“What’s up?” his voice was concerned.
“Well, I’m at work right now and I just was notified that there was a note left for me in the box.”
“What does it say?”
“You lying slut, take it back, you know he didn’t rape you. Take it back or I’ll take you.”
He was silent, and it was killing me. “Where do you work?” he finally spoke.
“James’ Video, just across the bridge.”
“Okay, you just wait there, I’ll be right there.”
I hung up the phone and left the note on the desk. I headed back to the front. Joe and Sara were working on the returns.
“Did you figure out who it’s for?” Sara asked.
I looked at her, “Me.”
Both Joe and Sara’s head popped up and gave an alarming look.
“So you were—“ Sara’s mouth stopped.
“Yeah, on my birthday.”
Joe just stood there, Sara walked over to me and hugged me, “I’m so sorry, if you need anything just call me.”
I let her go, “I will, I’m doing good.” Trying to lighten the mood I told a joke. “Hey Joe, how do you find a blind man on a nude beach?”
He shook his head, “How?”
“It ain’t hard,” I smiled,
A smile came to his face, and I saw him become a little less tense.
“Now, let’s get to work, no slacking,” I winked.
Joe went about running the returns, and Sara went over and started filling the pop. I heard the door open and saw Officer Jones come in.
“Sara, can you watch the front, I’ll be right back.”
She nodded and I signaled for Officer Jones to follow me. I led him to the office and showed him in. He looked at the note while I sat down, my knee was painful.
He looked at the note and then pulled out a plastic bag to put it in.
“We’ll run fingerprints. I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”
“Do you think you could follow me home? I am off in five minutes.”
He nodded, “Yeah, of course…Are you hungry?”
“Starving,” I blushed.
“Do you want to get something to eat?”
“That would be great.”
“Okay.” He followed me out of the office and to the front.
“Sara, Joe, this is Officer Jones. He’s going to take the note, if you get anymore, put them in one of the deposit bags and close it. Then call me and tell me.” I put my coat on, and grabbed my stuff. I punched out, and said “Have a nice night guys.”
Officer Jones walked with me to my car, “Do you want me to check it out?”
I looked at him and nodded, he gently took the keys from my hand. He unlocked the door and looked in it, there was nothing. He got in and started it, and it didn’t blow up.
“Okay?” he asked, when he pulled himself out of the car.
I nodded, “I’ll follow you, right?”
“Yeah, that’s my car,” he pointed to a black Dodge Stratus.
I smiled, “Nice…for a cop’s salary.” I got into my car, and followed him over the bridge and to the local hang out, Embers, which was open 24 hours a day.
As I climbed out of my car I stood outside a moment, taking off my coat and work shirt, leaving me in a thin long sleeved light blue shirt. I threw my work shirt into my car and put my coat on. I locked my doors and carried my keys and we walked inside.
He had put on a baseball cap so he’d be less noticed, or so I assumed.
To be continued…