girl guide to become a dating master

A girl’s guide to becoming a dating master:

          Dating, the act of becoming obsessively involved with another human being, and on some occasions making a promise to one’s chosen invisible deity in the sky to love and be with for the rest of one’s natural life. However, before any of that can occur, one has to be able to properly secure and execute a first date -- perhaps the most important aspect of dating -- and if successful, be able to convince the chosen individual to go on a second date. Now there are many ways to secure and execute a first date, but after tireless trial and error, a foolproof way has finally been discovered.
          The first thing needed is to locate a specimen suitable for mating, and perhaps intelligent social interaction with the family on holidays. Most specimens that meet this requirement can be located at a local bar. An important tip is to go between 9:25pm and 11:00pm. Going earlier dramatically increases the possibilities of running into lonely desperate individuals who still live with their parents; while showing up much later narrows the number of specimens left that fulfill both requirements, since most will have already left. Therefore, after locating a proper target during the crucial time frame, the next step would be to get his attention.
          To attract the target’s attention, without seeming too desperate, send a reliable friend to bring him over and make introductions. Reliable, in this case, being defined as already has a steady boyfriend. Now at this very critical time, it is always good to prepare for the possibility that the targeted individual will not be interested, and in fact may actually try to hit it off with the friend that tried to arrange the introduction. This circumstance, rare as it may be, cannot be avoided thus the reason it is good to mentally prepare for it. However once an interested individual approaches, remember to be social and strike up a conversation. During the conversation do not interrogate the potential date, a very easy mistake, instead make sure the conversation flows from both sides and contains actual conversation and just not round after round of questions.
          After the brief conversation with the chosen individual, it is time to leave, consequently prompting an invitation for a first date. This is by far the hardest step because leaving too early in the conversation allows for the possibility of establishing no real connection and voiding any chance that a date will be proposed. However, leaving too late in the conversation allows time for the conversation to become stale and boring, losing the interest of the once captivated person. Therefore, the optimal time to leave would be after a series of intriguing discussions. The sudden announcement about having to leave will prompt the still very intrigued individual to request a date, so he can continue to get to know one better.
          Now the hard part begins, since most guys plan the first date -- without much input from their counterparts -- there is no need to worry about where to go, and what is appropriate to plan for the night’s events. All that needs to be done to prepare for the date is to get ready. At this point, there has already been a first impression formed, so it is a good idea to keep up a similar appearance to that presented at the bar. For example, if when at the bar someone had long amber hair and was dressed slightly conservative, it would not be in their best interest to show up on a first date with a fresh buzz cut and dressed like a lady of the night. Then, after becoming appropriately attired, it is time to go on the first date.
          The first big deal breaker, for a first date, is showing up more than seven minutes late. The reason is that most people assume that their date is going to be on their best behavior during the first date. Therefore, by showing up late it indicates to them that for the duration of the relationship they will do a lot of waiting around. In addition, for the same reason it is always good to be polite and remember some simply rules of etiquette. No one wants to see their date shovel food into their mouth so refrain from ordering salads, large noodle pastas, pizza, sandwiches, and any food that requires the use of hands as utensils. Finally, always be considerate about the price tag of the date. If the date involves movie and dinner, a very common first date, it is impolite to order popcorn, soda, and candy at the movies and then five glasses of wine and the most expensive item on the menu at dinner. It is okay to want to be pampered but do not take it too far or the chosen individual will end up feeling used and not receptive to a second date.
          If everything executed to this point is correct and all guidelines followed, the first date should end pleasantly and followed by a promising invitation for a second date. Then after making chosen congratulatory moves and statements, thanking one’s chosen deity for the good fortune, go to bed with a feeling of accomplishment. Because, by being invited on a second date, all the set goals for achieving a successful first date are fulfilled and you have just mastered the infamous dating conundrum, known most commonly as the “first date”.