Vegas

I’m sorry.
I tried so hard
Not to leave you behind.
But I only think of you
When you smiled,
And if you hate me for that
I understand why.

It’s ridiculous, I suppose
(Like me)
But I love us all the same.
There were colors
And bright lights,
And dirt and grime.
We had the Vegas
Of relationships.
And we were a losing bet
The whole time.

I wanted something new and shiny
I wanted it different, and beautiful
I wanted something unwholesome
I wanted something proud
I wanted something to be bored of
But somehow shocking too.
I never, actually,
Wanted you.

I think that’s when it started
A beginning made to end
But there is no getting over us
We gave so much to lose
So I will bow to you from here
I will scream
Until you do too.
And when you join in
This chorus of the mornings
Maybe “us” can be whole again.