Blinded

Blinded

“Sorry man, I can't hang out with you tonight, she's coming over.” I can't say how many times I have heard this statement or a variation of such said over the phone by one of my guy friends. It seems like when everything is going just right and it looks like it will be a guy's night out, which primarily consists of chasing members of the opposite sex, a woman has to enter the picture and screw everything up. Its been happening a lot lately and seems to be spreading. The sad thing is I know where these guys are coming from. I too was once “blinded by vagina.” It may sound crude to use ”blinded by vagina” as the phrase to describe the phenomenon, but after dealing with this situation in several different scenarios it has become the most efficient and accurate way to describe it. Most men can figure out in a matter of seconds exactly what is meant by the term “blinded by vagina”, and if they don't it doesn't take much explanation for them to understand.
“Where is John?”
“He's not coming.”
“He's not coming? I thought he said he was coming.”
“Dude, he got blinded by vagina, alright?”
“Oh man...we won't see him for weeks.”
Yes, its true, heterosexual men of all types can be blinded by what seems to be an overpowering force. Like a deer caught in headlights they have no clue as to who, where, how, or what the hell they are doing. Lately, my closest friends have been victim to this “blinding” and its been hard on moral for us single guys. I had been gone for about four years from all my high school friends having joined the army right out of high school. I had been to all over Europe and also spent a year in Iraq. I was so excited to come home and hang with my friends and tell my war stories. Little did I know that women would come in to ruin the picture without me even expecting it.
I have two really good friends who I consistently hang out with who will remain anonymous to protect their identities. Instead I will make up the names Patrick and Josh. Josh and Patrick were single just before my return to Virginia from my army experience. It seemed that I would have the perfect “wingmen” to hit bars and have a good time chasing down women with.
Just about the day I got back Josh was in a full fledged relationship with a girl named Stefanie who didn't even live nearby. She lived up in Maryland while he was stuck down in the town of Warrenton which is about an hour to an hour and a half drive depending on traffic conditions. They had met at Radford University a few weeks before graduation and had really hit it off since then. Another downside to their little romance was that Josh would soon be returning to Radford to finish up his degree which would cause the trip to increase to four or five hours commute time just to see each other on the weekends. All I could say to Josh at this point being the level headed single guy I was, was “Dump her. It will save you the heartbreak later on, trust me.” These words of advice would go unheard however, because he had been “blinded.” Rational thought and understanding went out the window as he chased his newly prized above all else possession.
With Josh being hopelessly lost I turned my focus towards my other friend, Patrick. Patrick's story is a bit different and as of this writing is still on going. I'm not even quite sure I can explain this while actually making sense. Patrick lives in Richmond and I decided to head down there to hang out with my single friend. From the start we had some good times. He introduced me to his friends and we went out to bars to chase women and generally had a good time. Richmond began to grow on me and I found myself heading down there more and more. It wasn't for the city itself, but for all the people within it. Being in the army for four years had proven to be quite the lonely adventure and I welcomed this new experience into my life with open arms.
August 20th rolled around and it was my birthday. I headed on down to Richmond where I knew a good time would be had. This would be the beginning night of “The Blinding” for Patrick. Using the website known as “www.myspace.com” we discovered and invited an old high school aquiantance known as Desiree to my birthday party. This turned out to be a grave mistake. From that day forward this girl turned Patrick's stable life upside down causing him to make numerous irrational descions. They bought a dog together, and she ended up moving into his place all within the first two weeks. It was a very sad sight indeed, but there was nothing I could do to save him. He was lost and is still lost. Now and again he might be able to see through the fog of vagina, and have “moments of clarity,” but these are not enough to pull him away. That is the power of vagina. Its literally an unstoppable force. The best hope you have is to let it run its course and pick up the pieces of your broken friend in the end.
The only reason I know so much about the power of vagina is that I too was a victim several times. Its impossible to resist. There is no defense against it and once it starts you don't even know that it is actually happening until you look back and see the destruction behind you. My most recent blinding occurred around September 2004 in Colorado. From the day I met her I had no idea what was going on. She controlled my every thought and action. It was like I was hyponotized. I had one guy friend out in Colorado who tried to pull me from the fog when things really started making no sense, but I wouldn't listen. The fog of vagina was so warm and comforting I never wanted to leave. I started making sacrifices and rearranging my life plans to accommodate what I thought was the only thing that mattered in life. Then, it hit me like a ton a bricks, I found out that she was using her vagina powers on someone else at the same time the last month before I made my final descion to move back to Virginia after my military obligations were up. I crashed pretty hard after that, like a drug addict quitting his addictions cold turkey. When the day came to leave Colorado I left early, really early, I didn't say good bye and I didn't look back. I was gone. From that day forward my outlook on the woman situation has changed. When I look back on that experience and analyze where it all went wrong the answer always comes, I fell in love. Love was the cause of all these compromises and shattered hopes. I didn't want that to happen again for a long time.
Now here I was a single, free man, watching my best friends fall into that same trap I had just escaped from. I couldn't let it happen. I tried my best, but I failed. It seems the only way you can save someone from “the blinding” is to let it run its course. Everyone has to figure it out their own way and friends cannot intervene. I looked back to who I was back before I was blinded and who I am today and realize I'm a better person. I know now that experiencing it first had was the best thing that could have happened to me. Its then that I realize Josh and Patrick are going to be a-okay.