Working in Mysterious Ways

It's 3:30 am, Philippine time, and here i am in front of a computer, with a headset and a phone, ready to take in calls.
Yes, you guessed it right! i'm currently working as a customer service representative at one of the largest international call centers here in our province- in our country, in fact. I have actually dreamed of this job before, but it was not my major goal in life.
For four years i have worked my ass, my mind and my time off, trying to do good in my chosen course, my chosen profession-- to be a nurse. However, due to unforseen circumstances, I got stuck in time. I know that i have a passion for nursing, being a soulful person that i am. I know that it is my calling to be able to help others in need, to care for people who cannot take care of themselves, to be a comfort to those who need it. I know that i have a passion to serve.
But why am i here? In this call center? I still believe that all things happen for a reason, and when my results for the nursing board exam got withheld december of last year, i didn't know any reason for this existed. It tore my heart to pieces and the horror of the experience is etched on my very heart of hearts till now. I got so depressed i cried almost every night just thinking that my dream of becoming a nurse would no longer be realized. The first few months were very hard and all i can think about was how big a failure i was. A lot of people were counting on me. My family, my clinical instructors, my schoolmates and closest friends. I was actually one of the best in my class and many were willing to bet on me getting a top spot in the board exams. But i guess fate has its own way. And as the months have passed, i've actually learned to gradually realize the purpose of all this.
In the course of those months, a lot of things have already happened. My realationships with my friends have become stronger. I am usually the one they run to for help or if they need advice or just a listening ear. But the wheels turned and i became the weak one. I became the one in need of their shoulders and listening ears, I became the one needy of their advice and comfort. This taught me to learn to depend on others sometime.
For three consecutive months, my dad also got hospitalized. Two months after his last hospitalization, he had to undergo a 5-artery heart by-pass surgery and had to stay for about a month in the hospital- again. And for all of these times, I had to be there. I couldn't have been if i were already working as a nurse.
And although my ultimate dream was to be a worthy and successful nurse, i did have a lot of "little dreams and aspirations" in my heart. One of which is to be able to do something interactive which involves speaking and building rapport with people. And have you noticed? I'm at a call center right now, and i'm loving every moment of my temporary life station.
And you know what? In order for me to pursue my nursing career abroad, i will need to take english exams that will enatil reviews for writing, speaking, listening and reading english. And guess what else? I get to speak, read, write in and listen to english in this job. I have actually enhanced my skills in rapport building, active listening, speaking, writing in and reading english. I encounter different types of personalities, and i have somehow developed empathy skills as well. This was more review than i ever needed to pass any english exam.
There have been more little things that have had a huge effect on me at this time.
So you see, when i thought i was ready enough to face the real medical world, something happened that stunned me. I may have had reacted incorrectly in the beginning, but I know better now.
God always knows whats best for me. And don't you think He's prepared me enough to be a great nurse with all the trials as well as blessings He sent for me to face???
Well I praise You, Lord. For being the master of my life, for being the author of this beautiful story. At a point when i thought that you had deserted me, i turned my back on you as well. I became weak and questioned my faith in you. I had actually been mad at you for giving me too much to carry emotionally at my young life. All those times that i had trapped anger inside my heart, You, Lord, were actually preparing me to be better, even be the best. All you ever did was give me everything you know would help me in serving others best, in serving You best. I ask forgiveness from the bottom of my heart. I know i can never promise you wholeheartedly that i will never be frail again. But I will do my best. And the best thing is that now i know that even if i could never understand Your ways, all of it will only be for my good and nothing else.
You guys may never understand how i feel. You may never understand the impact of everything on me. But when you come to a point in your life when you feel the lowest, when all you've been working for your entire life shatters into pieces, you will know what i am talking about.
I only have one thing to say. Just trust in GOD no matter how hard it is. Cause you know what? It's even harder to go through the worst without God by your side. It really is. Your faith may waiver, but still...jus TRUST in Him. He loves you more than you could ever fathom. Just like me. I'm going through a rough time. But looking back, the only outcome i could see from what has happened to me is still just a BETTER ME. Yup, That's how confusing God works, but it works!!!