Beyond the Memories

No one to call my daddy
but these memories.
Unreliable memories
but they are like you.
Only scattered images,
but they are like you.
I often wonder about you
and the past we shared.
Nothing but concoctions
of what I would need or want.
We played, we fought.
We laughed - you cried.
I learned to cry when you left.
I never knew love then, but a hatred,
or was it fear?
I want to know you beyond the bottle,
beyond violence, beyond fear, beyond pain.
I want to know you
beyond the memories.