No Tomorrow

No Tomorrow

You ever have one of those dreams that you could swear was real, one of those dreams you regret waking up from? Well for me, sometimes at least, life is sort of the same. Sometimes things change that you wish wouldn't' and when you look back on those long past memories, you regret the fact that you had to leave them behind. If the notion of death ever occurred to me its in those moments of reminiscence. When you realize that those days are now mere apparitions of a moment lost in time, never to be found in the present again; you kind of wake up to the fact that sooner than later you run out of moments, and that that drout of time, is death.
I never feared death till I realized this haunting truth. I never doubted it, I just never took the time to look at it in the rational sense. I see now that death, the death that we people identify with, isn't the decay and rot of our mortal bodies, that is nature. Death is the end of our perception of life, and what is perception of life, but time. We perceive everything through time, and as time thins out, death thickens. Maybe this is why we dream of an after life, it represents "extra" time; everybody wants more time, and if we cant have it in this life, at least we have the next.
We are a species on the edge of mental breakdown, with just enough knowledge to ask the questions, but not enough to find the answers. Is this the stem of such things as religion, superstition, even faith? Another one of life's damn mysteries. It makes me wonder why I believe in God, maybe He's just a delusion I made up in a desperate attempt to fill the gaps left by life's daunting questions. But damn, it's so hard to expel the feeling that he's watching me, it's hard not to feel the remnants of his touch on every surface of life. Such is with feelings, that I can not prove them; There's no denying though, that it is a definite feeling, and something I've learned to trust.
Unfortunately though, feelings cant be measured, therefor the credibility of God based on feelings alone, is fragile. Back to the drawing board; death, life, time, grains of sand in the palm of your hand that, even with the tightest clasp, slip steadily through the cracks in your fingers. If at all possible, I suppose we all have to face the possibility that in the end it all comes to a sudden halt, with no resolution and no sequel, that life just cant go on forever. Don't consider it losing the faith, think of it more as gaining an idea.
I'm sure many people would argue that this type of "no tomorrow" thinking would incite its advocates to hang up their moral obligations and ethical code. I don't believe this to be so, as a matter of fact I believe it can unite us more, because when there's no tomorrow everyone's in the same boat, sailing down that same river our ancestors sailed. There is no heaven and hell no saint and sinner, just men dealing with their own problems, not out of fear of damnation, no need to glitter it up with fire and brimstone, they do it just because they have to, because that's what people do. We have to learn to stand on our own two feet. There's nothing wrong with faith, but when you use it as a crutch to lean you moral ideals against, that's when you've tarnished the image.
In the end you are survived by the ghost you leave behind, those things you stood for, fought for, and ultimately, died for