Alva's monologue...

Alva’s Monologue…
By Jason Alvarez

Break my heart, just break it now…
O beholder of my heart, break it now!
My heart is in your hands, and you’ve beared it for so long…
May someone wake us up – Bang boldly on a gong…
Squeeze it, tear it… Burn it for all I care!
Strip me! Do it now! From all this pain that I wear…
Shatter it into pieces like broken glass on a cold icy floor…
That I may carry ten tons of pain through the door –
Not bits and pieces of it, lasting longer no more!
So I could finally stop waiting in vain for you…
And start waiting for someone who’d truly love me too…
Who’d help me pick up the pieces and weld it back together…
Who’d make it stop raining – make a big change of weather…
One with whom I could at last feel true love and pure happiness…
The one and only one who’d take away this eternal sadness…
Wherein for once I could feel the true essence of serendipity…
A moment of awkward silence and plain simplicity…
Where for that one second frozen in time, we’d feel meant for each other…
And the whole universe, for one single moment, would conspire for us to be together…
All this and more I hoped to feel from you…
A binding of hearts that would prove O so true…




But no, sadly no… You proved to me cruel love…
You left me, took me for granted… Flew away like a dove…
You were like an angel sent from above…
But I was not even lucky enough to taste the sweetness of your love…
My relationship with you was an embodiment of the word ‘bittersweet’…
From pure bliss of happy times to sulking lonesome -- head to feet…
I was left alone – All alone in the dark…
Left here constantly hoping for a spark…
Wishing… that something or someone could lead me to the light…
A light, just as the moon or the sun, shining ever so bright…
You found joy in someone else – even after all that I did…
All the time, all the energy… All the pain that I hid…
It was like you, me, and him put together in a sorrowful painting…
A picture of you and him kissing, with a vague background image of me – crying…
Why didn’t I look into the future and tame my foolish heart..?
I should have known much better, played it right, and played it smart…
But no! Wait there just one second! I have no regrets…
Though my heart has been crushed – like a watermelon to a bunch of mallets…
So goes the cliché, “It is better to have loved than to have never loved at all…”
Yet how could someone this tall feel so puny, worthless, and small?
Now that I try to move on, you don’t want me to go…
I can’t comprehend why you didn’t foresee it before neglecting me so…
Every time I think about it, I laugh and release a smirk of pity…
Who are you kidding? I ain’t anything to you – not even worth a bit of your mercy…
I just wanted to be loved, cared for… Simply appreciated…
Was that too much to ask? Or did fate and destiny once again go undefeated?





But now I look back at all the happy times we had together…
And can’t help but wish that it could have gone on to last forever…
No matter how much you think I’d be happy with someone else…
All I can say is, “Hello! Wake up! Can’t you hear all those bells!?”
Others may pass by… Yet I know I’ll never be at peace and rest…
Until I’d be with you – My one and only... The best among the rest…
You said you don’t deserve me… Hell no! That ain’t true!
It didn’t matter… Why’d you have to think that way? Who cares!? I loved you!!!
But look at us now… What has happened? How come all I see is us two?
Look at me as I billow and cry… Don’t even think of trying to look at you…
Oh how I miss the days… Will the past ever return?
Or will it run away from us, allowing us to just sob here and burn?
But as the lovely melody goes…”Love moves in mysterious ways…”
Well, it’s possible… Who knows? Maybe we just have to count the days…
Right now, I just want to say… I hope we could both be happy this way…
I just want us to be alright, with our friendship here to stay…
I know it will be difficult… I know it will be hard…
But if there’s a will, there’s a way… This is not for the faint of heart…
So the question here now is, “Do you believe in second chance..?”
“Would you let me take your hand..? Let me enjoy one last dance..?”
You’ve made such a strong impact in my life, it’s unbelievable…
It’s one of a kind… Undeniable… Surely and definitely not simple…
I hope I’ve made you realize how gold is nothing to me…
It’s you that’s more important, and how happy I want you to be…