The Vocabulary of Food

Malcolm always tagged people in terms of food.

He shared this interesting predilection with me one day while I was visiting his penthouse apartment overlooking the Southside Marina.

He brought out an excellent Pinot Noir, uncorked the bottle, and poured each of us a taste then explained his theory. “Everyone possesses certain characteristics that are similar to foods that I’ve encountered throughout my life.”

He paused to savor a whiff of the wine’s bouquet then continued. ‘For example,” he said. “My parents are like large rounds of cheese. Why? Because all they do is sit and age.”

Satisfied with the wine’s nose and finish, Malcolm filled our glasses while offering up his best friend, Darwin as another example.

I knew Darwin to be a chubby, awkward child who grew up to be a chubby awkward adult. Malcolm said his friend reminded him of puff pastry.
“Overstuffed, but with good things inside.”

I asked Malcolm how he perceived Daphne, his long-time girlfriend whom he met at college. He reluctantly admitted he couldn’t categorize her as easily as the rest of his acquaintances. When pressed he still couldn’t give an answer. Instead he watched the swirling liquid in his glass and smiled as if reflecting on a wonderful memory.

“I suppose if I had to choose one person in the world to eat,” he finally admitted, “it would be Daphne, because she’s everything worth tasting. “

Of course this was long before their divorce.