Eternal shadows

The shadows of my forgotten memories returned today.
I’m scared because I somehow feel like they’re here to stay.
The pain feels alive yet again, so alive that it seems real,
So real that I am bleeding on the inside, wishing I wouldn’t feel.
I cry, I shout… but then I stay still, wondering… Why struggle?
I imagine you are here… I imagine you kiss me and we snuggle…
It feels so good but it hurts so much, because you are not here
And you’ll never know just how baldy you’ve hurt me, my dear!
How could you die?! Why did you do that to me?! I needed you!
It hurts me so much! Oh God, I swear I loved you and I still do!
Why struggle? Why struggle? I keep asking myself in vain.
I shouldn’t... Am I selfish for wanting you to feel my pain?
Maybe these shadows haunt me because I refuse to let go…
Still, that is just my assumption… probably I’ll never know.
I can’t live without the sweet but tormenting memory of you,
And you wouldn’t exist anymore if I didn’t remember anew,
Every time differently, yet every time the same ‘you’. See?
We still need each other to continue being, to live somewhat free
Just like before, being free but tied up with unbreakable chains.
I will take this dependence as a sign: love is showing us it remains,
It will always remain no matter what; it’s stronger than death
Or even life itself… and I’ll believe in it until my last breath.
Because it’ll be the only thing that’s left after I’m gone,
I have faith in it, because I’m sure it will always live on.