Get Up Young Man

Since the beginning of my life I've been hit with a successive series of bombs that I genuinely wasn't expecting. Bombs that have opened up a whole new world of hurt that I never knew was possible. Maybe I've been moving through life with a little too much arrogance, and whoever it is that governs these things has decided to put me back in my place. Maybe He is concerned that I'm driving my life in the wrong direction and has taken drastic measures to blast me back towards my true destiny because there was no other way. Whether for good or bad, I've taken a beating like never before, and it has hurt me.

I've been made to feel inferior, common because of where I was born, below average in education, ugly as sin, worthless, unlovable, hated, mocked, meaningless, played for a fool, a lesser man, cheated, like I've wasted my life, like I don't know who or what I am, that I am the most pointless piece of crap that ever defaced this beautiful earth.

So I've stared at any reflection I could find of myself, bitterly and accusingly. It was a totally new experience. My life has been a complete and total rock bottom. The deepest, darkest and desperate point of my existence.

I've transgressed self-hate to something much more worse.

I know that I've made mistakes. I know that I don't always do or say the right things, or even the satisfactory things. I know I haven't made the most of myself. I know that I'm not perfect.

I know that I don't deserve any of this. But for whatever reason, it has happened. I've experianced just how bad things can get. And yet, how could you not live with these kinds of experiences? How would the good times be worth it if there weren't any evil times to make them mean anything?

This is not the end, or the last chapter. I know I'm worth a hundred times more than this. This isn't how the story ends. This is just a handful of problems. Life hits you with them every so often to make you appreciate the gifts it gives you at other times. And let me tell you one thing, it's going to have to hit me a hundred times harder to keep me down.