Death from Above!

You're going back home already?

Yeah, I'm afraid so.

Bummer. Having a penguin here has been major cool! I bet you learned a lot living with us lemmings, huh?

Well, my parents placed me with a family of lemmings through this student exchange program. If nothing else, I've learned something about how much the old birds care for me.

They're pretty cool, huh?

Downright cold, I'd say.

But if you leave now you're going to miss the field trip.

You mean the one where you follow your leader over a cliff into the ocean?

Yeah!

Why would anyone want to follow this leader of yours anyway? I don't suppose you know what a kakistocracy is?

Dude! Chief Lemrick goes back to the Great Lemming on both his father's side and his mother's!

Yes, but that's because his parents were brother and sister.

Right on! Pure bloodline. Woot!

Yes, your history is full of terminally pure bloodlines.

Oh, but the Chief has a cunning plan!

Does he?

See those cliffs to the east? We charge over them at dawn. The sun in our eyes will guarantee surprise. Those fish will never expect us to attack from above. They won't know what hit them!

Ah. Attacking from high ground.., using the sun.., those are sound enough bits of strategy on their own, but someone might quibble with how they've been cobbled together in this particular plan.

What do you mean? It's textbook lemming strategy.

Y-e-s. What exactly is it supposed to accomplish?

A preemptive strike!

You mean the fish might scale the cliffs and assault this meadow?

Not if we can help it! We'll teach those fish a lesson!

And exactly what lesson would that be? That leaving the water all those years ago was not just a foolish waste of time—oh no!—it was also an embarrassing evolutionary step backward?

You don't sound very enthusiastic. Weird. I thought penguins and fish had an adverbial relationship.

You mean adversarial. Really it's very one-sided. Penguins eat fish. Maybe now and then you get a bit of bad fish and there's something of an intestinal skirmish, but...

Well there ya go! There's still time for me to paint you for the attack if you want in.

Paint me? Wait... is that an arrow painted on your fur?

Yeah! And a demon on my back. See it?

Yes, very pointy and scary... but why?

So I'll be as arrow demonic as possible. I don't want to miss the water when we go over the cliff.

Um. I think missing the ocean should be the least of your worries.

Cool! Well, it's my first field trip. I don't want to mess up. The arrow demonic stuff is just to be safe.

Good to know safety is such a lemming byword.

You'll at least come and watch, won't you? A stampede of lemmings, it should be an exciting event!

I think you mean 'extinction' event.

Death from above! Woot!

Yes... but for whom?