Because of You

Halley faced the door, the red paint chipped and faded, the number 6 hanging loosely by one nail. Holding out her hand to the rusty handle she took deep breaths. She had no choice. Halley pushed at the door, creaking as it slowly opened.

“Halley where have you been?” yelled a slurred voice from inside the kitchen. “Come ‘ere.”

Halley ignored the woman that staggered out of the kitchen, her face smudged with heavy make up and hair teased and stiff from hairspray. Taking a couple of steps she collapsed, facedown and passed out, on the lounge. Running up the stairs she slammed the door closed behind her.

She leaned on the door with a sigh, her mousy blonde hair brushing against her face. Halley pulled her thin, blue woollen jumper over her hands, concealing a dark bruise that made her wrist stand out. This was the only thing that she could do. She tried to forget the events that had led her to make this decision, but every time she closed her eyes it would still be with her, haunting her in her dreams. All she could do was relive the horrors of her life over and over again, until now.


***



Halley sat at the bottom of the stairs, not wanting to make a sound or disturb the people that were in the kitchen.

“What do you mean that’s all you have?” a man’s voice bellowed through the house. Joshua was Halley’s mother’s boyfriend. Every day was the same, Joshua taking the mother’s nightly earnings. Halley tried to stay out of his way; every time he was reminded that she did have children he could not hold his temper.

“It was a slow night,” a woman’s voice, Rene, Halley’s mother replied in a soft trembling voice. “I promise there will be more tonight.”

Halley stared out through the railings as a thump could be heard followed by a crash as her mother hit the kitchen floor.

“You had better you slut,” Joshua yelled as he stormed out of the kitchen.

Halley could hear the soft sobs of her mother. She quickly moved from the stairs, picking up a faded black backpack. A man with thinning brown hair and month old stubble covering his face appeared in the hall wearing a shirt that was unable to cover his beer belly. She tried to escape from him before he caught her, but it was too late. “What do you think you’re doing?” Joshua screamed as he grabbed a hold of her wrist. “I won’t take eavesdroppers in my house.”

“This is my mother’s house,” Halley argued. “It’s not yours.”

“Why you little.” Joshua pushed her back against the wall, his brown eyes bulging out as he stared at her with pure hatred.

Halley slowly stood up, holding her arm limply by her side. Turning for the door she quickly opened it and ran outside.

“You had better run,” Joshua screamed after her as he watched her vanish down the street.




It had been a long day at school and Halley was glad it had been. The six hours at school meant that she could avoid Joshua for most of the day. It was close to five o’clock before she returned home.

“Do you know what time it is?” Rene yelled as Halley walked into the house. “You are supposed to look after Bianca tonight.”

“I said I was busy,” Halley replied. “I have an assignment due.”

“Schoolwork will get you nowhere in the real world.” Rene snatched the books from Halley’s hands and tossed them across the room. “You be home when I tell you to.”

“But…”

“Don’t argue with me.” Renee slapped her daughter across the cheek leaving a red handprint clearly visible on the face.

Halley could feel tears swelling in her eyes but she refused to cry. She wouldn’t give her mother the satisfaction. Choking back her emotions she looked at her mother. “Are you going out again?”

“You know I am,” Rene snapped, her blue eyes highlighted by the dark mascara beneath her eyes and her bright purple plastered eye shadow. “We need the money.”

“You mean he needs the money,” Halley sharply replied.

“His name is Joshua,” Rene yelled at her daughter. “You had better get used to him because he’ll be around here for a long time to come.”

“Why do you have to do this?” Halley asked.

“Don’t pretend that you know what I do,” Rene snidely spoke as she pulled down her blue sequin dress that barely reached her knees. To top the ensemble off she pulled on her black knee-high leather boots, zipping them all the way to the top. “Now get upstairs, and I don’t want to hear that you gave Joshua a hard time tonight.”

Renee gave her daughter one last look before leaving the house to start her nightly work.




Halley lay in bed that night, the lights from the lamps outside shining in over her bed. Her eyes closed tightly she listened to the sounds outside. She could only lay and wait. Wait for him to come. Footsteps could be heard out in the hall, slowly making their way towards her room. Halley held her breath as the sound of the door opening could be heard.

“Ssshh,” a voice hushed her as he pulled the sheets down off her body.

“No,” Halley cried into her pillow.

“If you don’t want it I can always go next door.” The man ran his finger through her hair. “If that’s what you want.”

“No,” Halley spoke in a hushed voice. “Leave her alone.”

“Well then remember this is our little secret.” The man leaned down and kissed her bare shoulder, working his way down her body. His fingers piercing her skin as he lifted her t-shirt roughly. “If you did tell anybody nobody would ever believe you, you are a skank just like your mother.”

Halley closed her eyes tightly, trying to forget what was happening to her. She could feel his hands all over her. He was inside her, vandalizing her body in a way that could not be repaired. His voice whispering in her ears. ”You are just like your mother.”

Once he had left, Halley lay awake all night. She could not stand this anymore, she just had to find a way out of this life. She would not let them do this to her anymore.




Slowly Halley left her room in the morning. All of her emotions tearing her mind apart. Walking past Bianca’s room she stopped as she heard voices coming from inside. Walking inside she looked around her sister’s room. The small single bed was draped in a pink quilt. Over in the corner sat a small girl, her blonde hair hung loosely over her shoulders as she played with her dollhouse. Joshua stood over Bianca, a smile spreading across his face.

“So you want to play a game?” Joshua asked as he ran his finger along the top of her dollhouse.

Bianca looked up at Joshua with eager excitement as he moved toward her. “Just stand up and come here,” he coaxed the small child.

Bianca obediently obeyed him as she slowly got up and went over to him.

“But this is our secret game,” Joshua smiled at her.

“Leave her alone.” Halley ran over and grabbed Bianca by the hand before leading her out of the room.

“Get back here,” Joshua demanded.

“You’re not my father,” Halley screamed as him as she continued to get her younger sister away from this man.

“No and I’m glad I’m not,” Joshua yelled after the girls. “I bet your mother doesn’t even know who your father was. She is a slut, just like you.”

Halley stormed down the stairs, Bianca in tow. Picking up both backpacks, they left the house. “Come on, I’m taking you to school.”

She looked down at her sister, tears swelling in her eyes. She could not always be here to protect her sister; she did not know what she would do if he did lay a finger on her. The only thing that Halley knew right now was that she had to get Bianca away from this life. She would not let him do to her what he had already done to Halley.


***


Halley moved over to her bed, trying to block out the nightmare. She moved quickly, loading the bag with clothes, personal items and other necessary articles that she might need. Trying to be as quiet as possible, Halley made her way to the door. Looking around her room, double-checking that she did not leave anything that she might need because she would not be returning to this place, not ever. Grabbing the door handle firmly in her hands she took one last look around, pushing herself forward. She could not turn back this time. She just had to open the door and she would leave all of this behind her.

Halley quietly crept along the hall and stopped in front of Bianca’s room. She slowly opened the door and stared into the room. Her sister sat over by the dollhouse.

“Come on, Bianca,” Halley whispered as she pulled out another bag and filled it with her sister’s belongings. “We’re going.”

“Where are we going?” Bianca asked with excitement. “Are we going on a trip?”

“Yes,” Halley forced a smile. “But we have to be quiet.”

Bianca nodded as she jumped up, grabbing the stuffed bear from her bed. The arm limply hanging barely from one string. The bear was old and dirty, missing one eye and had stuffing popping out of the seams, but Bianca would go nowhere without the old toy. Halley took the young girl by the hand and led her out of her room.

“Where do you think you’re going?” a voice thundered from the front door. Joshua entered the house, blocking their exit. The voice was loud enough to make the woman jump up from the couch, her face dazed and forlorn as she looked at her daughters.

“What’s going on?” Rene asked, her panda eyes moving between Halley and Bianca.

“It looks like they were leaving.” The man grabbed the bag out of Halley’s hand.

“Give that back,” Halley screamed as she charged toward the man.

“You’re not going anywhere.” Rene stumbled toward her daughters, grabbing Bianca. “Where would you go?”

“Anywhere would be better than here,” Halley screamed at the person that she hated to call her mother.

“You can go,” her mother slurred, tightening her grip around Bianca. “But I will not let you take her.”

“I will not let you do to her what you did with me,” Halley shrieked, tears streaming from her eyes. “She is coming with me. Let her go.”

Halley pulled Bianca into her arms, pulling her away from her mother. When Halley’s mother succumbed to her, Halley pulled her sister into her arms and lifted her up. Moving toward the door she grabbed her bag roughly off the man who still blocked the way out. “You can’t stop me anymore.”

"You're not going anywhere." Joshua pushed Halley back. His hand forceful and rough as he blocked the exit.

"We're not staying here with you," Halley screamed as she struggled to get past him. "You cannot hurt us anymore."

"No." Joshua stayed in the doorway, not budging an inch as she charged toward him.

"Let them past," Rene said in a defeated voice.

“Where do you think you’ll go?” Joshua teased as he grabbed Halley by the wrist. “Nobody would want you, you’ll end up just like her, nothing.”

"Just leave them," Rene repeated in a more firm voice.

“We’ll get by.” Halley pulled out of Joshua's grip and pushed past him, slowly turning her head to give her mother one last look before she walked out the door for the last time.

“Why?” Rene asked, her eyes filled with a deep sorrow.

“Why didn’t you protect me?” She didn’t know where she would go but she did know that she would give Bianca a better life than what she would get here.