The Misadventures of Ellie Thornton Ch.1

Chapter 1


Looking out my window at the snow-covered neighbourhood, I wondered if life could get any crappier. Creeping outside for my daily paper wearing only my ratty, but extremely comfortable housecoat, I soon discovered that there was no paper to be had. It was missing again -the third time this week. I swore under my breath and turned to go back in the house, I heard two quick bursts, ‘Toot!! Toot!!” Startled, I instinctively whipped around. Of course! My new neighbour was driving by in his shiny black Explorer, waving a happy ‘Good Morning’ to me. Briefly closing my brown eyes in resignation, I mustered up a sheepish smile and waved back.

It was hard not to gape at his beautifully chiselled features or think about his muscular body hidden by the truck. I didn’t dare to think about the curly brown nest on my head. I meekly lowered my hand and rushed back in to the house. Stepping firmly on the cat’s tail as I walked through the door, I slammed it shut behind me, rattling the windows along the front of the house. I paused for a moment to rest my lean frame against the door, and then headed for the kitchen. Hearing a slow, muffled thumping come from upstairs, I knew that Simon was up, finally, getting ready for school.

As I sloshed another dose of coffee in to my mug, I settled in at the kitchen table to read over yesterday’s paper. Again. Halfway through the old news, Simon came downstairs with a mumbled, “G’morning,” and pulled open the fridge in search of early morning nourishment.

“Good morning, hon’,” I folded up the paper. “What’s on the agenda for today?”

“Umm. School,” with just a bit of adolescent sarcasm.

Sighing, I came back with a weak, “After school, I mean. What do you have planned for after school?”

“Oh… sorry,” he poured himself a glass of orange juice. His own brown hair now hung over his ears. I guessed that was the style nowadays. Part of me wondered if he was planning on growing it long enough to cover the inherited freckles across his cheeks. I resisted the urge to suggest he go for a haircut.

“I was thinking about going over to Jack’s, I guess, to hang out… if that’s okay?”

“As long as you get all of your homework done first, that’s fine,” I said, “I might be late getting home tonight, anyways. I have to stop and get some groceries after work… obviously.” I too, had looked in our near empty fridge for food this morning and was embarrassed with the result. He gave me a half smile and raised one brow over chocolate eyes.

“Sorry… here, take ten bucks and grab something to eat on your way to school,” I handed him a ten from my stash in the cookie jar, “I’ve just been so busy with work…” I faltered.

His smile grew and he happily took the ten, simultaneously giving me a hug.

“I know, Mom, don’t worry about it. I won’t starve to death, or anything,” grabbing his back pack off of a chair, he added, “I’ll see you later, then. Have a good day at work,” he gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and disappeared out the front door.

I touched my cheek, cherishing this much sought-after show of affection from my sixteen year old. Wow. I must be really pathetic if my teenager is feeling sorry for me. Dumping my now cold coffee down the drain, I decided it was time to shower up and get ready for another thrilling day in the life of Ellie Thornton, maniacal mother of misfortune and soon to discover, misadventure.

**************

Driving my ’03 taupe Honda Civic to work is always made challenging when I grab breakfast at the drive-thru window. Women are stereotypically known for being great multi-taskers, however I have yet to be anything but typical. Juggling my large coffee, munching on a toasted bagel and attempting to maneuver the vehicle in and out of traffic was almost more than I could handle. I say almost because I was doing fine until I felt the need for music instead of the news droning from my radio. I had to change the channel. I’ve heard that patience is supposed to be a virtue. Great. Something else which I haven’t yet to mastered. Sloshing coffee on my pants, I managed to get the channel changed and re-direct my attention to the road just in time to see the light turn red.

Flying through it, I chanced a nervous look left, then right to be certain that I wasn’t going to get caught. Yes! I gave myself a mental pat on the back for evading detection from our local authorities. My eyes back on the road, I glanced behind in my rear view mirror in time to see the cruiser behind me flash his lights, and give a little whoop, indicating that I needed to pull over. Damn!

Sighing heavily and cursing, wondering how my day could get any worse, I mustered up my best pathetic smile for the police officer approaching my side window. Looking up at him, my heart dropped. Of course, it figures. Self-consciously running my fingers through my now-clean hair, I thanked God that I had done an okay job with the hair dryer today. Looking up at the officer, I again smiled sheepishly at my new neighbour. Who would have thought that anyone could look so sexy in work clothes? His dark blond hair was brushed to the side and I had the opportunity to notice how well it complemented his hazel eyes. Were those flecks of green in there?

“Good morning, again, Ms Thornton,” he brought me back to earth.

“Hi… I’m really sorry… I didn’t mean t… ” I faltered.

Didn’t mean to what?? Wake up today? Drink coffee? Drive to work? Listen to the radio? Be an idiot? Oh… right… run the red light.

“I know… no one ever means to, but you did run right through that red light. I am going to have to give you a ticket,” he said apologetically. Getting out his pad of tickets, he asked for the necessary papers and filled out my very own piece of cop heaven. I accepted it as gracefully as I could and thanked him. Yes, thanked him! Heading to his cruiser, he turned back to me.

“I thought that you’re first outfit was nicer.” With an amused smile he got in to his patrol car and drove away.

Confusion only lasted a second. Oh, my God!! I rested my forehead on the steering wheel, taking a moment to recover. Already half an hour late, I pulled out on to the road cautiously and headed to work.

**********

I’ve known Mitch Anderson since high school. When we were teenagers we had hung out in the same crowd for a few years, but drifted apart when we all graduated. Living in a fairly small town, seeing each other on the street and saying ‘hi’ was where it ended. Over the last six years, I’ve wondered many times why that was. He is a very kind and generous man with a great sense of humour, a great friend to anyone. When my husband left me almost seven years ago for his tennis instructor at the club, I was devastated. Devastated, that is, until I realised that the bastard would barely give me child support, let alone any alimony until the courts kicked in. I decided to take matters in to my own hands and went job hunting.

Mitch’s ad in the local paper looking for someone to do filing and basic secretarial duties for his office caught my eye. He had cornered the small town market and was the only Private Investigator in the county. Not only for our town, but the three neighbouring ones as well. Having minimal work experience at the time, except for being a Mom and wife, I thought that I could handle it. I mean, if I could run a household, how hard could it be to run an office? Not having too many applicants, Mitch was happy to help out an old friend. After a few really rough weeks, the best of which involved me killing all eight of his cozy houseplants, I finally began to fit in and have been there ever since.

There have been a few times where I am certain that Mitch wished he had a more qualified secretary but felt obligated to keep me on. Thank God, because as much as I hated to admit it, I loved my job. I’ve always been a bit nosy and this was a great way to keep tabs on all of the local gossip. Mitch did a variety of investigative work. Not only dealing with sleazy spouses but a fair bit of insurance investigation as well. We were kept busy five days a week and sometimes Saturdays. I had a feeling that pretty soon, Mitch was going to have to hire a new investigator to ease his increasingly heavy workload.

Confident now in my knowledge of the business, I was positive that I would be ideal for the job. He really wouldn’t even have to train me. A few months ago I had started taking a P.I. course online and the busier we got, the more determined I was to complete it with flying grades. Unfortunately my inability to sit down and get the work done wasn’t the only thing in my way. Being a full time single mom and working long hours on top of that made my spare moments few and far between. This put a great deal of strain on my non-existent social life, as well as any other extra curricular activities that might come my way.

“Good morning, Ellie,” Mitch came through the front door with his own take-out coffee in hand. Seldom was he without one in the morning. I’ve never been quite sure as to whether he really liked the drive-thru stuff or just hated the muck that I made in the office pot. I never have trouble making one cup at a time. For some reason, though, my measuring abilities dwindle away when two cups or more are required.

I sighed. “I’m sure it’s good for some people, Mitch. I’m just not one of them, today.”

He raised his eyebrows at me in question, “Having a bad day already? Usually that doesn’t happen until mid-morning, Ell.” Mitch chuckled, picked up his pile of mail and went in to his office behind me. By now, Mitch knew better than to even bother asking me what was wrong. Good. I didn’t want to relive my brutal morning anyways.

He poked his head out of the office door, ” Oh, by the way, Ellie, did you get my itinerary for the conference, yet?”

Itinerary? Shit. Where did I put that fax? Frantically running through all of the possible locations in my mind, I calmly replied,” Yes, I did, but I still need to make a copy for the files, so I’ll bring it to you in a few minutes.”

Hesitating for only a second, he went back in to his office. Great. Now where did I put that stupid thing? Searching through the random piles of paper on and around my desk, I finally found it shoved inside yesterday’s newspaper beside the coffee pot. I really needed to get a better filing system.


*******

“So any important clients that may come up, if you could just let them know that I’m out of town for the week, that’d be great. I don’t think that anything too urgent should pop up right now.” Mitch was rushing around his office, shoving paperwork in to his briefcase.

“While I’m gone, Ellie, please tidy up that front office. Those metal things out there are filing cabinets, you know. People put files in them. You should try it.” The last he said with a smile. His conference in New York started tomorrow and Mitch was running late for his flight. Coming only once a year, he really looked forward to the annual International Private Investigators Association Conference. I personally thought it would be a bit boring sitting in on meetings, listening to new procedures and old stories from veterans. I mean a day or two maybe, but a whole week of it? I don’t
think so. I had a sneaking suspicion though; from some of the clothes that Mitch had packed that there may be some pretty attractive women P’I’s at this conference.

“I’m sure that I can handle an empty office without you,” I said sarcastically. “ I placed that ad in the paper telling all of the philandering husbands to take a break this week, anyways.” I patted his hand. “I think I’ll be fine.”

“Don’t joke, Ellie. I know you could get in to trouble doing just about anything. So take it easy, please!” He snapped his case shut and grabbed his suitcase from beside the door. He gave one last quick look around the office, running his hand through jet-black hair.

“Fine, fine… I’ll be good.” I don’t know what he thought I’d do wrong while filing old paperwork, anyways. It’s not like we needed the paper files, they were all on the computer already anyways. Maybe I would just file them away with the trash on Tuesday…

“Look, I’ve gotta go. Just… be good, please?” He gave me a quick peck on the cheek and flew out the door. His car was gone before his door closed. Phew. I thought that he’d never leave. The phone rang.

“ You have the hotel number, right?” Mitch.

“ Yes!! Go away, for God’s sake!! There’s never been a problem before, has there?” I should have stopped while I was ahead. Two years ago we were having the office painted when he was at his conference. The painters had come in with the paint code that I had copied from Mitch’s instructions. Unfortunately, I missed a number and when I came in midday the walls were the colour of cotton candy. Unbeknownst to Mitch, I had actually had to pay the painters out of my own pocket to fix the colour. He still has no idea how close we came to having beautiful pink walls in our manly P.I. office.

“Okay, okay… Bye, Ellie.”
“Good-bye, Mitch. Everything will be all right. I promise.