SAVE THE FURBY FOUNDATION

SAVE THE FURBY FOUNDATION

Do you remember the days when the sight of a cuzzly, talking creature wasn’t uncommon?

Everyone owned one. It was nearly impossible to leave your home without being ambushed by a herd of Furbys.



However, several years passed, and the Furby craze deflated, leaving the population hostile towards these beloved animals. Perhaps the incessant, incoherent babbling led some to insanity. All that is certain now though, is that Furbys are in serious danger. The 2002 incident of a crazed man reducing his green and white Furby to ashes in a public bonfire was kept under wraps by the media. Defense Attorney Kathy Carlisle is quoted saying, “The situation is being further investigated, and we can not yet determine who was at fault. My defendant claims to have been provoked and [sexually] abused by his pet on numerous occasions, and on the night of the bonfire, he murdered it in self defense.” This sad, incredulous attempt of feigning innocence seemed fruitless to human rights activists, but it managed to keep the media at bay. The murderer quickly gathered supporters, who also claimed provocation and abuse from their Furbys. The extremists created a group, under the acronym KFP, Kill Furbys Pronto. Believed to be under the influence of hallucogens during their meetings, KFP’s members write satanic poetry about the burning of their previous pets. One woman, currently in police custody, will be convicted of second-degree murder based on her poem that read “their twiddling bodies mercilessly engulfed in flames.”



This is not only morally incorrect, but it harms the environment, polluting the air we depend upon. (Do you really want to be breathing Furby?) As a former environmentalist and human rights activist, I will not stand silent, and let these atrocities go unpunished.



If you would like to contact myself, President of the Save-the-Furby Foundation, Semolina Pilchard, for further information, please email [e-mail].



PLEASE! HELP TO UPHOLD OUR CONSTITUTION, AND PREVENT THE KFP FROM ATTEMPTING ANY FURTHER DAMAGE.



(this petition has been endorsed by supermodels Amber Smith, Iann Holding, and Jesse Mezzin.)