Guard and Avoid

All of the old fears and insecurities,
rising to the surface.
The emotions and indecision I tried so hard
to put behind me,
Rolling in like thunder clouds.
You don't say a word to ease my suffering.
Only watching me with your careful eyes.
Only revealing just enough,
Just enough to cloud my vision
and crumble my defenses.
I long to know the mystery that is you,
But you keep it locked up tight.
A hidden treasure buried in your secret soul.
I am not ready to do this again.
To lay it all on the line,
to wear my heart on my sleeve.
Especially when we tiptoe around each other.
Dance of the hurt and broken.
A whisper of something between us,
like grasping at straws.
Solid walls on both sides.
When we show too much,
the walls just go higher.
The only time we're close is when I'm in your arms.
Your hands tangled in my hair.
Desires we cannot resist,
cannot stop.
But when the haze of passion has dropped from our eyes,
we once again guard ourselves,
with the past hurts and disappointments.
Just let it go,
let go,
let this be.