Treading Water

Treading Water, that's all I seem to do these days
Thinking, worrying, reaching but never finding the way
When they ask what will I say?
Some days the old positive me tries to sneak in
Thinks shes found her way in
But finds only the way to the loony bin
Will I ever escape from this racing brain
Get direction, to societies gain
Productive ones only stretch my pain
Where is the essence
When will it make sense
Spark my intelligence
I want my success
Not this awful mess
How could I take less
Can't be happy for what I have
Selfishness can make me brave
Waiting fot the next wave
Hope I can keep my head up
That I won't just give up
Or maybe just shut up